Hope
by Intergalactic Chocochip Cookie
Summary: Alice is a seventeen-year-old human. She's married to Aro against her will and has a three-year-old baby against her will . Her life is miserable. Then she meets Jasper, and a new Hope is born...
1. The count of the damages

_Ok, people, welcome to my new saga. My idea is to make this really long, so if you support me you know the magic word: "review." Easy! Now, be happy. See ya!_

**The count of the damages**

Since the first time I'd met Aro, I knew he was a vampire. I'd read, heard, and seen so much about them I could recognize him at once. What I didn't know was the hell he had reserved for me.

We've been married for two years and a half, and we have a three-year-old son, Sebastian. Though I never wanted to conceive him or give birth to him he has become my most valued treasure, my only comfort in this Italian prison. Aro loves him, too. He really spoils Sebastian, buys him everything he wants, and calls him "my champion" or "little prince". Yes, I think Aro loves our son. And curiously enough, he also says he loves me. That I'm not so sure about.

He said he loved me the first time he hurt me, when I was fourteen years old. He said he loved me so much he wanted to marry me as soon as possible, and that he loved me so much he couldn't wait till the wedding night. It didn't matter how much I begged him, how much I implored him not to humiliate me, not to hurt me, he did it anyway, promising that I would enjoy it as much as he would. At first I tried to keep that horror a secret, but when two months later I found out I was pregnant my family forced me to marry him. No one paid attention to the small detail that I was only fourteen years old and he was a grown-up man, even to human eyes. Nor they noticed that though I expected a child I was a child myself, and that I hadn't chose to give myself to Aro, he had raped me. So I married him and came to live in Volterra, in this castle he shares with his brothers, Caius and Marcus, and with a whole army of their immortal kind.

And worst of all, I'm free to go and leave him whenever I want. I can get the divorce and move out of this hell as long as Sebastian stays with him. Aro is as evil as sly, he knows I would never, ever leave my child. I'm allowed to go out of the castle as often as I like, but they never let me take my baby with me; there's always someone –Jane, Alec, Renata, Heidi, whoever, ready to babysit him. Once I managed to leave with him, but I was quickly caught by Felix and Demetri. I didn't see my son in the three months I spent recovering from the trashing Aro had given me as soon as he was told about my failed escape. Naturally, after that he came, Sebastian in his arms, and said he was so sorry, he hadn't meant to hurt me, moreover, he wanted us to be a happy little family, because he loved me so much...

But right now I'm not that miserable, my son is on my lap and Aro is... I have no idea where, but thank God he's not here. I use this golden moments I have here in our bedroom to try to make Sebastian talk. Though he's three years old he's never spoken a word. When Aro asks why our son is mute I say I have no idea, but, God, don't I know. Anyone who looked directly at his eyes would know why. There's a deep sadness in there, a dark shine of fear and pain that makes me cry and hug my baby as tight as possible against my heart. My child is traumatized, he has seen his father go from loving husband to torturing fiend, he has seen him beating me, abusing me, and then saying he will never do it again, he will care for us, he loves me so much, and then the show starts all over again. I feel his little arms around my neck and swear between sobs that I will get him out of here, even if it's the last thing I ever do in my life.

Then I hear footsteps outside. As they sound closer and closer I know it's Aro. I try to calm down and reassure Sebastian, who has also noticed his father's arrival and moans in fear. I stand up with him in my arms and Aro comes in.

"Hi there," he says cheerfully. He approaches and kisses me on the cheek. Then he turns to Sebastian. "Hi, my champion," he says, and pats his cheek. I feel Sebastian's little hands clutching tighter at my clothes. "We have guests tonight," he announces.

"Who?" I ask.

"The Cullens." He paces around the room, talking excitedly. "Carlisle, the father, is a very good friend of mine. I'm sure I've told you about him. We've known each other for almost three hundred years! He's coming with all his family: his wife, Esme, and their kids, Emmett, Edward, Jasper, and Rosalie. Of course they're not their natural children, Esme was already a vamp when they met. They're all adopted. I'm the only one of our kind who has a natural child! Come here, little prince, come with Daddy."

Aro tries to take Sebastian, but the child just doesn't let go off me. When I see this I think Aro is going to get angry, but he only laughs.

"Never mind. I understand you, my boy, who would like to be apart from her?" He passes an arm around my waist and whispers in my ear. "How can someone ever leave you?"-he kisses me-"I suffered every second I was away," –he moves all the way to my jaw-"but I can make up for it right now, if you want."

When his lips touch my neck I desperately try to discourage him. "Aro, the child is here... please... your guests... we have to prepare everything..." He stops, looks at me, and smiles.

"You're right, my love. You always are. But I'll try to make them leave early and then..." the desire in his eyes is so repulsive I prefer to look down.

"Now get ready, darling. I want the Cullens to see how beautiful my wife is, I want to be proud of you." He heads for the door and adds, pointing at Sebastian. "And, please, try to get him to say something."

_Liked it, people? Even if you don't, REVIEW! Your opinion is very, very important for me. So, want the next chapter?_


	2. Charade

**Ok, guys, I hope you're all being immortally happy. Can you please review (puppy eyes) ? I swear that nice little button doesn't bite, I DO. Pleaaaase?**

**Charade**

I already hate the Cullens. Their coming here means I'll have to play the role of happy wife, something that is most hateful for me. I'll set up my charade and we will all be merry. Perfect.

First of all, I must look older than I really am. My clothes and makeup must show at least a twenty-two-year-old girl instead of a seventeen-year-old one, which is what I am. Then I must pretend I'm living the life I want, that my marriage is peaceful, my family harmonious, and my son healthy and happy. This last part is what I detest the most: I can force myself to lie, but I can't turn my baby into another liar. But if I don't, Aro will get angry, and then my child will suffer more. It happened once, when Aro called him and and his eyes showed the purest terror. When I tried to encourage him, he began to cry. Aro said that we had embarrased him in front of his friends, and that I had told Sebastian what to do. Then he beat me in front of our son and left him even more terrified than before.

The option I've picked since then is to hide Sebastian from the visitors. I leave him with Jane –because as much as she disgusts me, I have to accept she adores my son- and say he's ill, or asleep, or something. Aro seems to understand and acts with me. Therefore, today I tell Sebastian he must stay in his room and keep quiet.

"Honey, it will be over soon," I promise him. "Now, be good and go with Auntie Jane."She smiles her beatific smile and holds out her arms. He looks at her, then at me, and his fingers -except from his thumb, which is always in his mouth- cling to my dress with more strenght. "Darling, listen. We've done this before, you know you're safe, don't you? Aunt Jane will play with you and I'll be downstairs if you need something. As soon as Daddy's guests leave I'll come back. And if you behave well during my absence I'll bring you the sweets you like so much and we'll tell a story, ok?" His face lights up and he nods. "Great. Mommy loves you, sweetheart." I kiss his forehead and give him to Jane. "Take care of him," I tell her.

"I always do," she answers.

"Ready, love?" asks Aro as he comes into the room. "The Cullens are about to arrive."

"Yes. Ready." I blow a kiss for my son before leaving.

Short after the Cullens arrive. At first sight they don't look like vampires, they have their own charade as well; a human one. The father, Carlisle, is a handsome man, with blond hair and a kind smile. He looks very young, almost as young as his children, but a timeless expression in his eyes shows he's been in this world quite a while. His wife is incredibly beautiful, and the sweetness of her heart-shaped features makes me think of my mom. She's slender, but tall, and the way her caramel hair catches the light mesmerizes me for a while before I turn to greet the kids.

The only girl, Rosalie, is so pretty it hurts to watch. I'm used to physical beauty, specially the immortal one, but this... Jane is amazing, too, but she's beautiful in a subtle way, it's an almost invisible charm. Rosalie's beauty, on the contrary, is so exposed, so open, I must control my own movements not to show the surprise and the deep envy I feel. But my envy is for something more than appearance, it's because _she look_s_ so happy..._ I only need to move an inch to the right to see why she's so happy: an enormous boy is holding her by the waist, and the love between them is evident. His hair is dark and contrasts nicely with his golden eyes, which look at his blonde soulmate with such tenderness I feel the need to look away, so I move to the next Cullen.

He introduces himself as Edward. His manners are very polite, and his voice has the soft cadence from last century. He exhales a kind of melancholy, and there's a deepness in his aura that tells me he isn't as happy as the others.

"I am very pleased to meet you," he says. "Aro talks a lot about you."

"Really?" I smile nervously.

"Yeah, it made us all curious," says the one I think is called Emmett. "You're prettier than we expected."

I look down with a faint blush and when I raise my eyes I see the last Cullen boy. He tries to seem serious, but I see the smile in his eyes. They perfectly match his hair, both are honey-like, and suddenly I find myself wondering how his curls feel like. We shake hands; his is rough but the feeling is pleasant; these are working, experienced hands.

"My name is Jasper," he says with a voice that is deep, soft, and somehow sexy. "and I agree with my brother. You're prettier than we expected. Much prettier." His lips curve upwards and the smiling expression is complete.

"T-thank you," I answer. It's not the first time I hear a compliment, but this one sounds so sincere I feel really touched.

"But don't blush," he adds. "You know I say only the truth." While he speaks he brushes my cheek with his fingers. The coldness feels good on my burning skin, and the sudden realization that I'm enjoying a man's touch for the first time in years makes me blush even deeper.

"Well, well. Now you all know each other. Shall we go to the living room?" Aro's voice kills the little spark of enjoyment. When we move, he takes my hand and holds it with a little too much strenght. My stomach jumps. I'm in trouble.

This castle makes me feel I'm in an alternate universe. The Renaissance decoration have a certain magic, everything is full of art, gold, yet it's all cold and distant. This section is reserved only for the family, Caius, Marcus, and Aro; each one has his own rooms and privacy, like mini houses put together to form the big mansion. Our bedroom, for example, is specially designed so we can hear everything that's happening outside, but no one can hear anything from the inside. Some other places of the house are built the same way. You can barely notice the rest of Volterra here, it's like Sleeping Beauty, living in a castle surrounded by spines.

And tonight everything is even weirder. We are all playing a role. The Cullens pretend they like Aro, something I knew at first sight it's not true. Aro pretends he's reserved and delicate, there's a shade of hypocresy to his manners tonight; only I know him for what he is, an intense man, as passionate as cruel, someone who can forget all pleasantries and become a cruel fiend. Also, he pretends he's not angry with me for having allowed to be complimented and touched by Jasper.

And, of course, I pretend. I pretend I'm happy, I pretend I love Aro, I pretend I don't miss my child... and I pretend I'm not terribly attracted to Jasper. I pretend I'm not interested in him while at the same time my eyes try to absorb as much as possible from his eyes, his smile, his hands... I remember the feeling of them on my face and suddenly I catch myself thinking how would those hands feel all over my skin, with their roughness, their coldness, their-

"So, how old are you, Alice?" Carlisle's voice cuts my fantasy.

"Se- twenty-two." Aro's hand squeezes mine tighter.

"Twenty-two? Wow, you look much younger. I'd say, no older than... sixteen, seventeen, something like that. And you have a child, don't you?"

"Yes, Sebastian," I can't help smiling at the thought of my baby, probably asleep by now.

"And how old is he?"

"Three."

"But that would mean... you had him when you were nineteen?" Carlisle's wife, Esme, asks, surprise in her voice.

"Er, yes." My hand balls into a fist. I hate lying to someone so pretty and kind.

"That's too young. Too young. And were you already married to Aro?"

"Um, no. We got married when we found out about the baby." Finally, something true. I don't mention all the time I spent crying because of that, though.

"Interesting." This is Jasper's voice, and there's a well-concealed tint of sarcasm. "I don't doubt you're an excellent mother, and I'm sure there are enough reasons to fall in love with you, but, Aro, don't you think it was all a bit too soon?"

"Well," he answers, "as you said, my dear Jasper, she made me fall madly in love with her. And you should see her with our son. There's no better mother in a hundred square miles. Unless, of course, Esme is nearby," he laughs. While he speaks he caresses my face and the difference between his hand and Jasper's is so repulsively different my fingers curl even tighter.

"Most men are the same. Driven by his passions." Rosalie's voice sounds with a bitterness that makes me think what could possibly have happened to her to speak like that. Aro pretends he didn't hear her.

The night goes by with actualizations of our mutual lives. Aro lets slip a bit of his desire for the Cullens to join him, something he's told me many times. He wants their talents so badly sometimes I fear he will do something crazy to get them. He has spent hours talking about Edward being able to hear all your thoughts, about how Jasper can control people's emotions at will, about how Esme's venom, in small quantities, can be curative, even for humans. Edward's talent attracts him the most, because Aro himself has a similar power- once he touches you, he sees all the things that have ever gone through your mind. In fact, the first thing he was interested in about me was that I'm the only exception to his powers, and apparently, to everyone's powers, something no one has really understand yet. But right now, it seems that he _can_ hear what I'm thinking, because he says:

"Ah, have you noticed, my dear friends, something very special about my wife? She's inmune to our talents! Jane, Alec, and myself, have tried them on her, but she just... repels them. Isn't it interesting?"

"Definitely," says Edward. "I did notice from the beggining. Her mind is utterly silent. It's really frustrating,"

"Well, I hope we never get the chance to check my abilities," smiles Esme. "It would be terrible to see her hurt." Her voice is tender and maternal, it makes me want to break down and cry in her arms. Carlisle kisses her on the lips and seeing such display of love now I really want to cry.

Then I feel something strange, like butterflies in my stomach, and I don't feel so sad anymore.

"Ah, but mines do work on her." It's Jasper, he's smiling and then I know he was messing with my emotions. The sensation intensifies, but that might have more to do with the fact that he's looking me over carefully. I smile and look down, blushing. When Aro speaks again, his voice has gone from pleased and relaxed to cautious and serious.

"Fascinating. We must work on that."

I'm really enjoying myself, I feel guilty for having hated the Cullens before, they are so nice and kind and funny. But then they announce they must leave, because it's already past two o' clock in the morning, they live a bit far from here, and they don't want to get caught in the sunlight. We walk them to the main door of our section, there's a passage direct to the Volterra streets. I shake hands with the guys –praying for my heart not to beat too loud when Jasper's skin wraps mine-, Rosalie and Carlisle both kiss me on the cheek, and Esme gives me a hug.

"Take care, dear," she says. The endearment sounds so natural, I feel like I've known her for centuries.

"I hope we can meet again soon."

"Me too. I so want to meet your baby..." she hugs me again, then says in an undertone, "I still think you're too young."

***

Back in the living room, Aro loses all composture

"I must convince them... Edward at least..." he paces round the room. "There must be something... something they've always wanted then I can offer to them... something, somehow..."

"Don't worry about that tonight. You've got plenty of time to find their weaknesses." I tell him. The truth is, I'm not in the mood for his confusion, and the thought of Esme or Jasper red-eyed, wearing black cloaks, is so horrifying I'll do anything I can to stop it.

"You're right. There are better things to do." He takes me by the waist and presses my body against his. I try to find an excuse to save myself and say,

"Just... let me go make sure Sebastian is fine. I wouldn't like his nightmares to... interrupt us." Mainly because each time my son screams and cries in his sleep I feel my heart shattering.

"I know you say this hoping I will forget the rest. Nice try, kitten. I'll see you in the bedroom."

Sighing, I get a couple of Sebastian's favorite sweets and go to his room. He is, as expected, waiting for me, wide awake, and doesn't seem to pay much attention to Jane.

"Hi, sweetheart," he runs towards me and I lift him in my arms. "Mommy missed you so much... Did you behave, honey?"

"He's an angel," assures me Jane. "Not a cry, not a problem. Ah, were he mine..." Poor Jane. Always secretly in love with Aro.

"Any word?" I ask.

"None yet," she answers, looking sad. "Well, I'll leave you alone now. Goodnight."

"Bye, Jane. Thank you."

When she leaves I take Sebastian to his bed and tuck him in. I give him the sweets, which he devours. Then he asks me to sing for him, and I do so for a while. Then decide it's not good for any of us to keep Aro waiting and stand up. When he sees this, he whimpers and takes my hand. His sad, blue eyes look at the window and his index little finger point at the darkness he's so afraid of.

"Don't worry, baby. I'll leave the lamp lit, I'll close the curtains, and I'll be next door if you need something. No monster will ever come into a house full of vampires, trust me."

When I reach the door he moans and tears shine in his eyes. I sit back on his bed and tell him, "Love, I must go. We don't want Daddy to get angry, do we?" he shakes his head. "There you go. Please, understand. I don't want to leave you, either." I kiss his forehead and we hug each other for a while. "Bye, sweetie."

And I run out of the room, before tears break me down.

Aro is waiting for me and doesn't look very pleased.

"Aro, I'm sorry," I start. "You know he's afraid of the dark, he didn't want to let me go, and I-"

"Doesn't matter. I heard. Now, come."

This is the moment I've been dreading all day. He takes me by the waist again and begins kissing my neck. I close my eyes and clench my teeth while he speaks

"You were great tonight. Everyone admired you. Did you see how Jasper was enchanted by your presence? But you are mine, only mine, and you'll stay loyal to me forever, always, eternally..." His fingers start undoing the buttons at the front of my dress and his lips move down the neckline. I fight nausea as he caresses my back and all my torso, as I hear his breath faltering, as his mouth becomes hungrier and hungrier on my skin.

"Baby, I want you so badly..." he says. "I need you, kitten, I need you so much..."

"Well then, take me," I answer back. "Do whatever the hell you want with me."

He smiles his most evil smile. "Your wish, my command." And he pushes me onto the bed.

When we fall on the matress he takes my wrists, pushing my arms to both sides of my head. This is how he always starts, since that first time he makes sure I can't move. Then he looks me over and smiles at the sight of my defenselessness. His eyes shine with a diabolic spark I remember seeing only That Time, with desire getting the wildest out of him. He rubs his body against mine and his breath turns into incoherent pantings. I turn my head and close my eyes, trying very hard not to feel what is coming.

His grabbing my wrists is now a mere ritual, we both know there are no chances for me to escape, so he quickly slips his hands to my legs and caresses them eagerly. I hear his own clothes being taken off and soon his icy chest is pressed against my skin; it's so cold it's almost painful, and I can't help shivering. He growls in response to this and his kisses become more passionate. I'm just lying there, an inert, dead body, more a toy than a woman, but it's better this way, because before he tried to force me to interact, and it was too horrible, and he gave up. With my being an inanimate object he enjoys himself and I... I just lie there.

My mind disconnects itself from my body and I concentrate in the old good memories- my childhood, spent first in France and then in Italy; my pets, always cats; the days when I could run in the fields, completely oblivious to any danger; the dreams I used to have about falling in love, marrying someone who adored me, and start a family... Jasper's voice when he said I was prettier than expected, Jasper's skin when he touched my face, the way Jasper made me feel with his powers... these memories manage to actually draw a smile in my lips.

But somehow my happy bubble bursts and I find myself facing the reality, facing this man I hate so much, and who now is saying one of the biggest lies I've ever heard,

"I love you, baby," he says, while he moves over me. "I love you, I adore you..." he continues, his lips moving all over my skin.

_You don't love me,_ I think. _You desire me. Maybe you like me. Maybe you need me. But definitely you don't love me._

He keeps repeating his lie until he cries out in the cruel pleasure of being inside me. I gasp in pain, but he doesn't seem to notice.

I spend the next few minutes fighting the urge to throw up. Finally, as soon as I know he's done I turn away from him, curling myself in a ball. He chuckles and passes an arm around my waist.

"You've been wonderful tonight, my love. Thank you. Goodnight."

He leaves the room, to go ruin someone else's life, I guess. Whe the door closes I bury my face in the pillow and cry myself to sleep.

**Pretty people !!! Hi ! Hope you liked this. Ok, for those who don't know, I have to write an essay for Spanish class, I chose to write about Twilight, I want to prove to all those wolves out there that something that has united so many people all around the world, and made them so happy, can't be that bad. To do so, I need you. Please answer these questions (take your time, think carefully) and send them to sxyvamp_. I'll be waiting!!!**

**1.- Why / how did you start reading Twilight?**

**2.-What / who do you like the most ?**

**3.-What / who do you like the least ?**

**4.-What's the craziest thing you've ever done for Twilight?**

**5.-How many people have you lent your books to?**

**6.-Your age and country.**

**If you know any other Twilighter ask him / her to write his / her story. PLEASE!**


	3. Memories

Hi, my precious ones. I know I took too long, and I feel horrible about it, but blame the delay on my Math teacher and her amazing, never-ending cruelty. Who else would programm an exam the very last week of school? Ooh, and we should talk to the History teacher, too, she has her part in my lack of time. Well, now that I've explained everything, enjoy!Memories

A couple of days later Alec tells me that Aro is waiting for me in his study. I have no idea what he wants, so I go

Knock, knock

"Come in, darling."

I open the door. To tell the truth, I like Aro's study. It's a quiet little place, with shelf after shelf of books. The wood of the floor is always shiny, and it sounds funny when you walk with high heels on. The paintings that hang on the walls (fine, expensive originals museums would kill for) are really beautiful, for if there's anything good about Aro is that he has excellent taste. There are two chairs in front of the mahogany desk, and behind it, sitting on a big, leather chair, is _he._

He's not wearing his black cloack today, and the normal clothes make him look really good. If I didn't hate him so much I would kind of like him- his jet black hair armonizes with his pale face and cherry red eyes. Curiously enough, his eyes never scared me, not even when I understood their meaning. Probably because I had better things to be scared of. But right now he greets me with a smile.

"Hi, dear. Sit here." He gestures at his lap.

I don't really want to sit on his lap, but it's not worth a fight, so I go and sit on his legs.

"I have good news for you," he says, while he takes my arm and passes it around his neck. "Esme phoned early this morning. She said she wanted you to go to their house, maybe go for a walk, and she insisted so much I had to agree. They will pick you up in half an hour, so be ready." He smiles again. Why, he's in a very good mood today. "Here, take this," he reaches out for his wallet and gives me a very thick wad of bills. "Go have fun and buy yourself something pretty." Definitely a good mood. He kisses me on the cheek and adds "See you, honey."

As I go upstairs I can hardly believe my good luck. I'll be free all day, with people I really like, out on the street, with light, air, happiness... and Jasper. When I think I'll see him again in a few minutes my heart beats faster and I feel the blush in my cheeks. Ha, ha, I sound like a teenager with her first crush. Wait a minute... that's what I am! I'm a teenager with her first crush! Isn't it interesting, I'm living a moment that is perfectly normal for my age and feelings and it seems the weirdest thing on Earth. But I'll take advantage of all this, and no one will steal my golden moments with Jasper.

I'm in my bedroom making up, and I realize I'm paying much more attention to my appearance than ever. I shouldn't say this, but sometimes I can understand why Aro likes me. I mean, I'm ratter pretty, with my blue eyes and dark hair. I prefer my hair short, but Aro insisted it looked better long, so I haven't cut it in three years and I must admit he wasn't mistaken. When I think about all this I feel really frustrated to see my beauty, my youth, wasted in this place, with this man. But then I remember I'll be seeing Jasper today, and everything has a new meaning.

I have fun preparing myself, dressing up in the way I think_ he_'d like, choosing the perfume I think _he_'d prefer, making my eyes and lips stand out, and rehearsing again and again every single word I plan to say. Wow, I really feel alive today.

The door is ajar, and suddenly I see, reflected in the mirror, a tiny ball of curls popping in. I turn around, already knowing who it is and ask in my best confused voice,

"Who's there? Who's there? Is it a flea? A louse?" I hear the sweet little giggle and I barely repress laughter. "Is it a puppy, or an elf? It's a... a..." then I open the door and reveal Sebastian, who thinks himself quite unrecognizeable under a green cloak and a diadem with green horns. "It's an alien!" I exclaim, lifting him and spining around with him in my arms. "A very, very bad alien! Don't eat me, please!"

We're both laughing and we fall on the bed. I start tickling him and kissing him all over while he laughs and tries to tickle me back. It's unusual to hear Sebastian's laughter, so I do everything I can to keep it going on, and-

"The Cullens have arrived," Aro's voice bursts the bubble. "They are eager to see you."

I take my son in my arms and tell him "The Cullens are very nice people, and they want to meet you. We'll go downstairs and you'll say hello to them, ok?" he nodds.

Aro looks at me with the expression that means _danger!_ and before we cross the door he says "I suppose it is not necessary to tell you to be prudent," he starts, caressing my hair. "Any extra word, comment, or gesture, and you'll regret it, ok?" he whispers in my ear. "I have ways to find out, and you know it, so... be careful, gorgeous."

"Don't worry," I answer, "I know what to do. I won't give you any problems."

"Good. And, by the way, you look beautiful. I wish you made the same effort more often."

"Thanks. I will."

We go downstairs and I see Esme's caramel hair. She turns around and greets me with a smile.

"Alice! How nice to see you again! And this must be your son. Oh my, what a beautiful child. What's your name, darling?"

Sebastian, though smiling, doesn't say a word. Before Esme notices something strange, I speak. "His name is Sebastian. Please, forgive him, he's a bit shy. He's not used to people."

"Oh, don't worry. Children his age are always shy." Then she turns to speak to Aro. "Aro, thank you for letting her come. Don't be offended, but this place is too dark for someone as young and pretty as this girl."

"I know, Esme. It's good that she goes out, and with such people as you and your family."

"Thanks. We'll take care of her. She'll be back at... oh, someday. Ready, Alice?"

I nod and give my baby to Aro. By now he knows too much about his daddy's anger to protest in front of someone else. Esme holds my hand and we go out.

"The car is right there," she says, pointing at a black Mercedes. It's a cloudy day, so we'll get to have fun outdoors. I can't stand the doubt anymore and ask her, "Who else will be with us?"

"Paractically everyone. Carlisle, Emmett, and Rosalie are already waiting for us in the car. Edward will join us later."

"And... is Jasper coming, too?"

"Yes, he'll arrive with Edward."

My heart jumps and I pray for her not to notice, and... she's staring at me. She noticed. Before she can say anything I open the back door of the car and get in. Carlisle is at the wheel, and adjusts the mirror so I can see his smile when he greets me. Esme sits next to him. Rosalie and Emmett are beside me, but Rosalie is sitting on Emmett's lap. I feel so happy and relaxed, looking forward to whatever will happen next, that my life with the Volturi seems like a dream.

"First we'll go to the house," explains Carlisle. "Esme will show it to you, I hope you like it. We're only waiting for Edward and Jasper, so as soon as they arrive we'll go to..."

"The Shop Street," says Rosalie. "Aw, please," she adds, seeing Carlisle's undecided face.

"All right. The Shop Street," he agrees. I like that place, since Volterra doesn't have a mall they created an entire street full of shops, and, frankly, I prefer that.

We chat and laugh and finally we arrive to the Cullens' house. It's a paradise lost on the outskirts of town, a beautiful white house, exquisitely built and decorated. A pale-on-pale variety of colors bring light to the house, and a glass wall shows you the picturesque view of the Italian city.

"Wow," I say, "it's beautiful."

Esme, as promised, takes me to see the rest of the house, and the more I see it, the more I fall in love with it. Paintings that show the history of the whole family hang on the walls, there are flowers everywhere, and the entire place has a kind of magic. There's a mixture of modernity and classics that is hipnotizing, and with each second everything feels more and more like a tale, like an oasis, like... home.

We stand on a balcony, admiring the sun that hits the Volterran streets, when Esme speaks.

"Alice," she begins, "don't be offended, but I feel something strange in your marriage with Aro. Do you really love him?"

The question shocks me. "Esme, I-"

"Did you want to marry him?"

"Esme, understand, please, I was pregnant, and-"

"That's not the question," she insists. "I asked if you married him for love."

What am I going to do? I don't want to lie to her, but Aro will kill me if I tell the truth, and I don't want to leave my baby alone."Listen,", I finally say. "I don't want to be rude, but there are some things it's safer for you not to know. I beg you, don't make me answer that."

"All right. Don't tell me that. Just... how old is your son?"

"Three," I answer, confused.

"And how old are you?"

Something tells me she won't believe the twenty-two thing. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and open them before answering. "Seventeen. I'm seventeen years old." And then, quickly, I add, "Let's go downstairs. They are waiting for us." I almost run, trying not to think of the horrified expression I saw in her face.

When we get back to the living room I notice a tense atmosphere. I wonder what could have happened during our absence, but then I don't think about it anymore, because the door opens and Edward comes in, with Jasper right behind him. The moment I see him, everything else disappears. His golden eyes meet mine almost immediately, and we smile.

Edward is the first one. He comes and pecks me on the cheek. It feels nice. Edward is a pleasant guy and I really like him. And then... _him_. Jasper. He puts his hand on my shoulder, pulls me to him, and kisses me, also on the cheek. In that very moment, to my great embarrasment, my heart accelerates frantically. He moves back, I don't know if he's angry, scared, or simply surprised, but his puzzled eyes make me turn scarlet.

"Ok, we were only waiting for you. Let the fun begin!" It's Emmett. Bless him, he's just rescued me from a very, very embarrasing moment. Not that I would mind to repeat it, though, as long as Jasper's lips come again on my skin.

Then we go out. During the time we were in the house the clouds arrived, so now the streets are perfectly safe for the Cullens. The Shop Street is not far from here and when we arrive we split in groups: Emmett, Edward, and –to my sad surprise- Jasper go to the video games section, while Rosalie heads for the clothes part. That leaves Carlisle, Esme, and myself. I know where the toys shops are, and I start walking that route when Carlisle speaks:

"Alice... um... could we talk to you for a moment, please?"

"Er... sure," I say, a bit confused by the look in his eyes.

As we move towards an alley close to the street he starts. "Alice... back in the house, when you were talking to Esme we... we heard you."

Oh my. They heard that I'm seventeen, they have understood I'm not married for my own will.

"Well, I..." I stammer.

"We want to know what's going on between Aro and you."

"Carlisle, I... I really appreciate your interest, and I would like nothing more that to be able to talk to you openly. But if you heard me talking to Esme you know it's better if we keep it this way, it's safer for us all."

"Darling, some risks are worth taking," says Esme. "Please, let us help you."

I sigh and look down, fighting tears. "I can't say anything, I really can't. He'd... he'd hurt you, he'd take my son away, he-"

"Speaking of which," says Carlisle. "You're seventeen," I nod, "and your son is three," I nod again, "so that means you had him when you were... _fourteen_?"

Silently, I nod.

Their faces can't hide the shock, the horror. Esme looks like she would cry if she could. I hate to see them suffer, but this is the expression I would have liked to see in my parents' faces. Something protective, rather than an accusation. Fury, wrath, yes, but against the right person.

"You didn't want to," says Esme, and it's not a question.

I shake my head, still looking down.

Without any more words, Esme hugs me. I hug her back, and cry silently. Soon, I feel Carlisle's fingers caressing my hair.

"I was a child," I say between sobs, "Of course I didn't want him. But he would wait for me outside school, follow me home. I would find flowers and gifts in my schoolbag, or next to my bed. I told him I didn't like any of it, but he insisted. He kept saying he truly loved me, and that deep inside I felt the same. I began to have nightmares. And then...it happened. I'd changed the route, but he had found me, anyway. He asked me to marry him, he _begged_ me to marry him, and, when I refused, he said I'd end up agreeing, whether I liked it or not. And then... and then..."

I can't talk anymore. The painful knot in my throat makes it almost impossible to breathe, and the memories I've been running from for so long are coming back. Now I perfectly recall when he dragged me to the backseat of his car, beat me, and forced me. I fought back, of course I did, but I had no chances against that monster. My nails were sunk on his skin, but, what could they do, a kitten's paws against his diabolic brutality. I feel again the defencelessness, the pain, the hatred, the invasion of my body. I feel again his hand on my mouth, muffling my screams, his fingers and lips all over my skin, his whispers, all his sounds; everything, everything comes back.

"I didn't tell anybody," I whisper. "I was too scared, I felt ashamed, dirty. This was my secret. But then... I found out I was pregnant. My parents didn't believe me when I told them I had been... r-ra-raped," I force myself to say the word. "They forced me to marry him. I did so, and came to live with him. It took me a lot to accept Sebastian as my son, but now he's my only support. I love him too much. Aro says I can leave whenever I want as long as the child stays with him, and that's why I'm still there, I just can't leave my baby."

"Don't worry, darling," says Carlisle, "We'll help you. Both of you. Thanks for trusting us."

***

We wait until I feel better and go back to the main street. But before that Esme adds,

"Alice, you like Jasper, don't you?"

I blush and smile lightly. "Yes," I answer, biting my lip. "A lot."

"He likes you, too. A lot. If you ever decide something about it, we're on your side."

And right when we mix with the people we see Jasper. Carlisle and Esme give me one more loving look and leave us.

"You look so..." he starts. My eyes are looking at the ground, and so he takes me by the chin and raises my head. His golden eyes are locked on mine, and I know he's trying to understand the thoughts behind the feelings he senses.

"So much sadness..." he whispers. Then a wave of calmness runs through me, from him. Little by little I calm down, until he actually makes me giggle.

"That's better," he smiles, "You look far prettier when you are happy."

And now I'm certainly happy. As long as he's with me, I know I'll be happy.

***

Our way back is a bit quieter. Emmett and Rosalie are murmuring softly to each other, while Esme and Carlisle are silent and thoughtful. I feel guilty and worried for having told them the truth, I pray Aro never finds out. Edward is also silent, and he frowns, looking anxious. I wonder what's troubling him. I look out the window, but I feel Jasper's eyes on me, and that makes it hard to concentrate in anything else. I try to think about Sebastian's reaction when he sees the toys I got him, and send that happy thought to Jasper. Somehow, I know it works, it's as if we shared his ablilty, I know he's calmer now.

We arrive to the castle. They walk me in, where Aro is already waiting for me. They exchange all those empty pleasantries and prepare to leave. By this moment I'm on the kiss stage with all of them, so that's our farewell gesture. Carlisle and Esme add a hug, that says more than any other word. Then comes Jasper, maybe knowing that I was trying to leave his goodbyes for the end.

"I hope I can see you soon. I had a lovely time." He leans forward, and shielding himself on his parents' hugs, wraps his arms around my shoulders. I wait for the jump of my heart, but it never comes, and I understand he's using his powers so Aro doesn't notice anything. "Bye." He says, and pecks me on the cheek. I close my eyes at his touch.

As soon as their car disappears Aro turns to me. His face go from corteous and pleasant to dangerous and monstrous in one second.

"You and I are going to talk." he says. He takes my hand and drags me upstairs, walking so fast I have to run to keep up with him. Sebastian comes out of his bedroom, smiling at me, but when he sees Aro's expression his eyes fill up with fear and he locks himself again. When I see his little, scared face I pray that whatever Aro's wrath is for, it leaves me alive to go comfort my baby.


	4. A price to pay

**Preeeeettyyy people !!!! Hi ! This is the last chapter before Xmas, maybe the last one of the year, and so I'll use it to wish everybody "A very merry Christmas / And happy New Year / Let's hope it's the good one / Without any fear" You know the song, right ? I know this sounds sickly, but _may all your wishes come true, have a lovely time with your families, and never, ever, lose hope._**

**Merry Christmas and Thanks !**

**A price to pay**

He locks us in our bedroom and as soon as the door closes he starts.

"Why did Jasper kiss you?" he asks, his eyes spitting flames.

"He... he was just being polite," I stammer. "You saw me with all the others, he didn't mean anything."

"Then why did he hold you, too?"

"Well, that was spontaneous, he-"

"And why did he say he had a lovely time? What did you do?"

"Aro, please, don't be reckless. We all talked and went shopping. It was innocent, believe me. Aro, I'd never defy you, and you know it, we just-"

"You liar!" he screams. His voice and his hand hit me at the same time. My cheek burns and I can taste the blood in my mouth. He takes me by the shoulders and begins shaking me while he shouts. "What's going on? Is he your lover? Tell me!"

"Aro, I swear... I swear there's nothing wrong... I've always been faithful to you, I'd ne-"

"Shut up!" He hits me again, so hard I fall to the floor. "You will learn to respect me, you bitch! No one can ever fool me, and most certainly not a stupid, useless girl like you." He unfastens his belt and I close my eyes, knowing what is coming. "You will learn, kitten, one way or another, but you will learn. Even if it's the last thing you do."

The first blow falls. Even through the clothes I can feel the metal cutting my skin, and now he starts to combine the blows of his belt with his own kicks. I curl myself in a ball, erasing all thoughts but one: Jasper. While the belt marks my body over and over again I only think of Jasper, of his voice, his hair, his smile. Of how I wish Sebastian were his and not this beast's. Of how last night, while Aro abused me, I imagined it was Jasper instead, that he was the one touching me, kissing me, that it was his scent I inhaled, his voice I heard. _Jasper, Jasper, Jasper, _I chant to myself. _Jasper, Jasper, Jasper._

Finally, Aro is done with his punishment. Or so I think. Next thing I know he's over me, his whole icy body pressed against mine.

"You're mine," he says, his voice coming in sharp and harsh pantings. "You belong to me, and only to me. You are my wife, and you'll behave as such. Right now you'll please me and I don't give a damn if you enjoy it or not. You are of my property and you will do what I say."

He kisses me savagely, and for a moment I fear he might bite me in his wildness. He pushes my dress up to my waist and fingers me all over. The upper part of my clothes is torn and I feel his eyes on my skin. I open mine one tiny bit and meet his possesed gaze, all sense or reason gone. For what I see I know he's doing this not for the pleasure of my body, but for the pleasure of seeing me dominated, broken. And as much as I hate to admit it, he's got what he wanted.

Yet with all these consequences I don't regret anything I did. It wasn't wrong. This is a hard price to pay, but I'm willing to give it all. And when Aro's nails sink on my skin, and he licks the blood that comes out, I know I'd gladly take it a thousand times if it gave me the happiness I felt before.

I can't help gasping in pain when he consummates his attack, though. We weren't made for each other, in any sense. Nor emotional, nor physical. We're an exception to the opposite poles rule, we repel each other. And it's quite... desperating when the answer to my pain is a soft laughter. It's in these moments when I toy with the idea of setting fire to the entire castle, and the image of the flames wrapping all these monsters is so seductive I wonder why I haven't tried it yet.

And I'm so taken by my fantasies I barely notice when he leaves. I know I'm lying on the floor, trying to breathe, but somehow I'm not worried about it. Then I sense someone's presence, and a soft voice,

"C'mon, Alice, it's okay. I'll help you." It's Jane. Aro always sends her after he beats me, and she and her brother look after me until I recover. She offers me her hand and helps me to stand up.

"It's not okay," I hear myself say, "I'm still alive."

"Now, now, there's no need to be so upset. After all, you shouldn't have provoked him. And it's not that bad, is it? At least you can walk."

"Yes, Jane, I consider myself the luckiest girl on Earth when your master doesn't leave me with three broken bones, one half of my body purple and the other bleeding."

"Well, you should. You know he _has___left you with three broken bones, one half of your body purple and the other bleeding."

She's right. It happened once, the one and only time I tried to escape with Sebastian. But the fact that I've had worse doesn't mean that _these_ wounds don't hurt like hell. But she's right, at least I can walk this time. Somehow we manage to get to the bathroom and the hot water starts to run. It makes my wounds burn, but I gladly take it, for I know it washes from my body everything that has to do with Aro.

"See, Jane? This is what you get for being married to him. I hope it makes you reconsider your wishes." She knows that I know that she loves Aro, and for a moment she is silent. Then she sighs and say in a soft voice,

"It would never be like this with me. I... I'd never... I'd do anything to please him, he... he'd be my whole life."

"He _is_ your whole life. I'd gladly give him to you, but, you know... Someday, Jane, someday we'll both get what we want."

But as I speak I know I've never been further from what I want.

**And now on Facebook! Finally! Find me as Alice BrandonWhitlock, or with my e-mail adress: sxyvamp_. See you there!**

**Merry Christmas!**

**¡Feliz Navidad!**

**Frohe Weinachten!**


	5. Scars

**Hello, precious ones. Happy New Year. I'm soooo sorry about the delay, but please believe me, I truly had no time to write, and I suffered a lot. Isn't it marvellously cold ? I wish it snowed in my city, I ADORE the cold. Freezing greetings, my dear ones !! Enjoy !**

**Scars**

It's been two weeks since Aro beat me. I'm much better now, I can walk steadily, some bruises don't hurt as they did before and some others have disappeared completely. I haven't seen Sebastian, once more he has been taken away from me. Sometimes I can hear Jane's voice, inviting him to play or trying to make him talk. But he doesn't need sweet words or toys, I know he needs his mother... just as much as she needs him.

Before I can think anything else the door opens and Aro comes in. In his hands he has a tray with food and flowers, and on his face a big smile. Damn hypocrite.

"Hello, my love," he says cheerfully. "How are you?"

_Broken. Miserable. Beaten. Hating you more every second. _"Fine, thanks." I smile softly.

"I brought you breakfast," he adds, smiling proudly.

He sits on the bed, puts the tray on the night table and takes a flower.

"Even the rose goes pale next to your beauty," he whispers.

_It's a white rose. It's supposed to be pale._ "So... I hadn't seen you in a while. What do you need?"

"I want to make it up for last time. Listen, I... I know that I might have, you know... overreacted."

"Might?"

"You are right. I totally overreacted and I feel awful about it. It is just that when I saw you with him, well, I thought the worse, I don't know why. But I don't want to lose you, darling, if you were not by my side I would simply go crazy. That is the reason of my horrible behaviour."

"If you say so..." I say, looking away.

"I do, I do, and I beg you to forgive me." He takes my hand and kisses it softly. "Listen, sweetheart, I want us to be happy. The three of us. Yesterday I saw Sebastian and I hated myself, because you have given me the truest proof of your love, that beautiful boy, and I was such an idiot I did not trust you when you said you had been faithful to me. So now, my dear," he kneels next to the bed, still with my hand between his, "I beg you once more, from the very bottom of my heart, that you forgive me."

What else can I do? I don't want to make him angry again. Plus –I begin thinking- if I make him believe I love him, he will trust me more, which will give me more freedom, which will give more opportunities to see Jasper. At the thought of him a smile flows easily onto my face and it's not that hard to say,

"Of course, Aro. There's nothing to forgive." And, with a horror hidden by the idea of the benefits this can bring, I lean forward and kiss him on the cheek. He looks at me, and his expression almost convinces me of the love he claims he feels.

"What do you want, my love?" he says. "Anything, anything you want, ask for it and I will get it for you. I will give you the entire world if that's what you want."

I can't help giggling. "What do I want the world for, if I have a family? But there's something I would like." His eyes are bright, ready to please me. "Can I... can I go out? I mean, St. Marcus's day is close, and I suppose we are preparing something special for him. The day is sunny, and none of you can go out. I could get something for him, I don't know. Please?"

His face is undecided, he didn't expect me to ask that. I know the reason for his doubts is that my face and arms are still bruised, and it's dangerous for him if someone sees that, so I quickly give him an option.

"I'll wear sunglasses and long sleeves. No one will notice anything, I promise. Please?"

He's going to agree. He pretends he's still thinking, but somehow I know he has already decided. He smiles again and says,

"Alright. Go out and have some fun. You can buy some of Marcus's favorite flowers, orchids. Here, take some money, buy yourself anything you want. Would you like to see your child before you leave?"

"Yes!" I say. I miss him so much.

"Perfect. I'll send him in."

We both stand up, he walks toward the door and I go to my closet. But I can't stand the worry anymore and say

"Aro, about what you thought two weeks ago... Did you... did you say anything to him? Jasper, I mean."

"No. I was about to go and face him, but when I saw what had happened to you I... I recapacitated. He does not know anything, and I would appreciate your discretion."

"Sure, sure. Don't worry. I was just curious."

When he leaves I sigh in relief. Jasper is safe. Aro discharged his anger with me and after everything he did to me he calmed down and saw he was wrong. If my being beaten saved Jasper, then I'm glad it happened. Everything is worth to protect him.

I take a shower (fortunately the hot water doesn't make my belt cuts burn anymore) and dress in jeans, a red, short-sleeved shirt, and a denim jacket. A pair of sunglasses hide my black left eye and if I use red lipstick the small scab at the corner is barely visible. I let my hair loose to cover more of my face, just in case, and I'm ready.

Then I hear the door opening. I turn around and find Sebastian, and I just can't help it, I run and hug him as tight as I can, ignoring the stabs of pain produced by the pressure of the bruises.

"Darling, darling, darling! Mamma missed you so much!" my words are mixed with the kisses all over his face. "Did they treat you well, honey, did you miss your mommy, sweetheart? Oh, baby, I promise they'll never separate us again, never, ever."

I look at his little face. It looks exactly as probably mine does, with a huge smile and tears on the eyes. Aro says he looks like me, with the blue eyes and the fine features. His skin is almost translucent, but it's hard to know exactly who he got that from, both of us being so pale. His curls are soft and shiny, but I don't understand their brown shade, both Aro and I have jet black hair. It created a few suspicions when he was born, but when we saw the faint gleam of his skin and his sharp senses my name was cleaned. I truly don't lie when I say that this is the most beautiful child ever born, and it fills me with pride that I made him.

"Thank God you're alright," I say. "Listen, I have to go out for a moment," he pouts and I kiss his little hands to reassure him, "but when I come back I'll ask Daddy to let us go to the Piazza dei Priori with Auntie Jane, would you like that?" he smiles and nods. "Ok, then. Now, a little kiss for Mommy," he presses his lips to mine.

I take his hand and go downstairs, to the main hall, where the family and the guard are reunited. Since Jane is nowhere to be seen I leave Sebastian with Gianna, who though her work days are Monday to Friday stays during the weekend. I think Demetri has something to do with that. But my son likes her, probably because she's the only other human he knows beside me, so Demetri or no Demetri he stays with her.

I get in my car (which Aro gave to me in one of his love outbursts a few months ago) and I can't help noticing the black van where Aro first... did That to me. But I shake off the memories and start to drive.

I like to drive fast, so it doesn't take me long. There's a street devoted to flowers, everywhere you look you find petals and perfumes, colors and life. I park and start walking; this season the orchids are really beautiful, with happy, strong shades and a sweet perfume, so I buy a lot of them and have them sent home.

The sun has hidden and a gentle breeze flies around, the city is boiling with life, children laughing, tourists taking pictures and speaking a thousand languages. The buildings stand proud and tall, and it's hard to believe that this place was once destroyed. Thinking about my History classes I remember that long before Christ was born a civil war leaded to Volterra being sacked and deprived from its many priviliges and beauty. "Ah, but we survived," Aro told me when I asked him about it. "Nothing could be stronger than us Volterrans. And those bastards who burned my city are now rotting away, while we continue, making of this place an eternal beauty." Of course, he was here when it happened. Sometimes I wonder if I could ever be like Volterra, if, no matter what happens, of how many times everything is devastated, I will be able to recover and rise, just as proud as Volterra, finally free.

"Alice?"

I turn around, slightly scared, I was too absorebed in my thoughts. And then three things happen at the same time: my heart beats violently, I blush because of this, and I recognize the person.

"Jasper!" I smile so widely that my parted lip hurt. Am I hallucinating, or he got even more handsome?

"Nice to see you again," he says. Rosalie called a few days ago, but Alec told her you were ill."

_Ill. Interesting._ "Well, yeah, a little... but I feel much better now, thanks." _Yes, now that I see you I'm perfectly fine._

"So what are you doing here?" he asks. We move to a little alley in order not to block the people's way.

"Saint Marcus's day is close, and, you know, it's_ our_ Marcus, so we have to prepare a lot of things. And you?"

"Rosalie's 'human' birthday is next week. Seventy-five years since she was born, one of the oldest. She adores flowers, so Emmett asked us to help him fill the entire house with them." He smiles, amused.

"Wow, that's nice," I say, slightly nervous.

He looks at me for a moment and then says,

"It's a very warm day. Why are you so covered up? I mean, um, you are, well, very pretty, and I thought you'd like to..." he trails off.

It takes me a while to answer, because I can only assimilate that he said I was pretty, _very_ pretty, but then I speak,

"D-don't worry. I'm fine. These clothes are quite, er, comfortable, so..."

"I see."

The back of his hand brushes against my burning cheek and my heart jumps. He smiles at that and caresses me again. Then he takes my hand and presses his lips to it. His fingers go up, to my forearm, and I... wince.

He moves away immediately.

"Sorry, sorry. Was that too strong? I didn't mean to hurt you, I-"

"No, no, no, don't worry. It's just that..." think, think! "I fell last week, and I hit my arm. It hurts a little, that's all. Anyway, why don't we-"

"I don't believe you," he says abruptly. He feels my sudden nerves and tension, I'm sure. He takes me by the chin and examines my face. Through the dark tint of the sunglasses I see his expression, worried and confused. Then his thumb touch my lips. Oh God, he's noticed the scab. He sighs and takes off the sunglasses.

I hear him drawing in a sharp breath and look away, scared and nervous.

"You fell. Of course." he says. His cool fingers trace the contour of the black shadow that extends itself almost to my brow.

"Jasper, let me explain, I-"

"What's there to explain? He hit you, didn't he?"

"Well, I-I made him angry and-"

"Please, Alice, how can you say that? Nothing justifies this."

"Jasper, believe me, this is nothing, don't worry." His face is turning into a mask of fury and I need to control him. But then he touches my arm again, and I can't help wincing once more.

"There is more." he says in a flat tone. Then, slowly, he undoes the buttons of my jacket and takes it off.

"Dammit, Alice!" he snarls. "I'm going to kill him, I really will!" he hits the wall and it cracks under his strenght. He's furious, tremendously, unbelievably furious. Part of me is glad because he cares so much for me, but a more logical side tells me to calm him down before he does something stupid.

Before I can think of what to say he looks at me and say slowly

"Just tell me something. Why?" I notice the hurt in his voice, it makes me want to cry.

"He-he... when your family drove me home, you hugged me and said you'd had a lovely time. Aro misunderstood and imagined the worse. He was jealous, and blindly furious. We argued, and then he beat me."

"My fault!" he says miserably. He buries his face in his hands and tries to breathe deeply.

"No! It's his, it's always his. After a few days he realizes how wrong he was and begs me to forgive him. He's the monster, he's the one to blame."

"_It has happened before!?_" is all what he can say. I nod and he seems more desperated than ever.

Then he lifts his hands and looks at me, trying to find a pain-free spot where to touch me. I take them and place them on my shoulders. Any spot he touches is a pain-free one. His gaze is fixed on mine as he speaks,

"Come with me." he says. "Come with me. Right now. Run away from everything and come with me."

His words shock me. "What?"

"What you've heard. Let me help you. Escape. Now. You and I."

I can't help it- I start crying. "Jasper, I-I can't. I can't. I'm so sorry."

"Why? Don't you want me?"

"Of course I do. But I... I can't leave my child alone."

"But, Alice... that boy... that boy was the product of a... a rape... he raped you to get him. He's the memory of something horrible. Are you sure it's wor-"

"Of course it's worth it! He's _my_ baby. No matter who else's, he's _mine_. And I will not leave him."

Jasper doesn't say anything, just stares at me. And then, suddenly, he takes my face in his hands and kisses me. Fully, softly, passionately, ardently, tenderly, wonderfully. It's the first time a man kisses me; Aro has touched every part of my body but this one. Jasper can be my first man in something! One of his arms is around my sholuders, and the other one around my waist, holding me tight, yet carefully. His lips are extremely sweet, like a fruit, and time is frozen while this kiss lasts. I kiss him back and run a hand through his hair, something I'd always wanted. His curls are soft and tangled, and they twist around my fingers, trapping me.

"You taste like cherry," he whispers.

He pecks desperately at my face and returns to my mouth; we kiss for minutes, hours, days, years, who knows, who cares. I hear the deep growls that come from his chest and feel I could go on with this forever. For the first time in years I know someone truly cares for me. And for the first time in my entire life I know what desire is –I want him to take me, to enjoy me, I want to be his, I want him to love me in every way possible. But then he moves, leaves me. He's panting, and in his eyes I see that he's thinking exactly the same I think. He caresses my face and says softly,

"I'll save you. I swear I will. I won't rest until I've made that bastard pay for everything he's done to you. And then... we will be happy."

He offers to take me home, but that would be too dangerous. He can't be anywhere near Aro, no one can know what just happened between us. But as I drive home, and remember the feeling of his lips on mine, I know my scars are healed.


	6. St Marcus

**St. Marcus**

When I get home I'm in a daze that makes everything invisible. I don't notice Gianna and Demetri flirting in the hallway, I don't notice the rainbows some vampires' skins are throwing, I don't even notice Heidi and the new group of tourists that follows her. Good for them. Who cares.

I'm so self-absorbed I crash with Aro and he has to catch me so I don't fall to the ground.

"Hello, my dear," he says. "Has Heidi arrived?"

"Yes, she just got here."

"Good, I'm rather thirsty today. See you later, honey." We both walk our way, but then he stops me again. Without any explanation he takes me by the shoulders and sniffes me. Fear paralyses me. He can smell Jasper in my body, I know he can. At any moment he'll get furious at me and we'll both be lost. And then-

"Mmh, you smell very nice today, love. Kind of... citric. Is it a new perfume?"

"N-not really," I stammer. "Must be the flowers. There were tons of them!"

"Yes... must be the flowers." He inhales deeply. "Very nice indeed." And off he goes.

I run to our bedroom and only here I allow myself to sigh in relief. To erase evidence I decide to take a shower again. By the time I come out Aro is done with the tourists and is playing (or trying to play, anyway) with Sebastian in the child's room. As soon as my son sees me, he runs to my arms.

"Aro," I start, "can Sebastian and I go to the Piazza dei Priori? With Jane, of course." I add quickly.

He looks at me, doubtful. Then he finally says,

"Jane and Felix will go with you." He's sending the two strongest of his guard to make sure I don't even think of escaping. I say nothing, knowing I need him to trust me.

***

We have a wonderful time in the Piazza, chasing pigeons and enjoying the light of the Mediterranean twilight. We throw coins to the fountain and think of a wish. I even convince Jane to throw one, and I know she wishes my husband becomes hers. I wish Jane's wish comes true.

The moments I spend with my child in relative freedom, like now, are the ones that give me hope for true happiness, and now that I'm in love and loved (though I hardly dare to think about it here, fearing Jane or Felix can somehow guess) those hopes intensify. While I see the sun shining on the water I remember the feeling of Jasper's lips and I know everything will be fine.

When we return home Sebastian has fallen asleep in my arms. I take him to his bedroom, and then go to mine. The door is ajar, and I can hear Aro's voice coming from inside,

"Yes, Esme, I know, we are so sorry." Esme? "But, why don't you come here instead? In a couple of weeks we will celebrate St. Marcus's Day, and we would be delighted to see your lovely family here... Can I count with you, then?... Marvellous. You will be most welcome... Great. See you, then. Send my regards to Carlisle." He hangs up, and then says "I know you are there, Alice. Come in."

He's smiling despite my eavesdropping, so I dare ask

"Was that Esme Cullen?"

"Yes."

"And... what did she want?"

"Oh, she wanted to invite us to Rosalie's birthday party. My, my, that girl is seventy-five and couldn't be any prettier."

"Wow, that's great! When is it?" I say, pretending I've just found out.

"Next week. But, as you have heard, we are so sorry, but we cannot go."

"Why?" I ask, trying to hide my anger and disappointment.

"Because I say so. Bye, love."

I'm frozen with disbelief. Why would he say so? What's wrong with that party? I'm still trying to understand when Jane comes in. She closes the door behind her and approaches me.

"Aro is scared," she explains. "He's noticed that your friendship with the Cullens is much too close for his convenience. He won't let you any near them now because of what you could tell them about you life here. He invited them for St. Marcus's day because he's really interested in them, but with all the guests and all the chaos he hopes you won't get any chance to talk to them. Want some advice? Don't make him angry, obey him, and forget about your friends." And then she's gone.

But I must talk to them. I must talk to Jasper. I've found what I so badly wanted, and I will do anything to protect it. There has to be some way to approach them during the party, therr has to. I just won't give up that easily.

***

When St. Marcus's day finally arrives I'm totally exhausted. Every year Aro insist that I organize the party, and so I do. That means tons of work, making sure everything is just as perfect and glorious as everyone expects the Volturi to be. I've transformed the dark castle into a fairy tale fantasy, bringing light and light and yet more light; people has to think life here is absolutely merry. Marcus looks satisfied, and that tells me I've done it right.

"Thank you," he says. "You're magical."

And so the first guests arrive. The Denali clan. They introduce themselves as Tanya, Kate, Irina, Carmen, and Eleazar. When they see the cold hall turned into a dance floor they start laughing,

"Who did this miracle?" asks Carmen. "You would even think it's real! And the flowers! I so love flowers!"

Aro smiles proudly and introduces me as his wife and party planner.

"So you're his wife?" exclaims Tanya. "My condolences! Just kidding, Aro. I've heard Esme say marvels about you, Alice! I hope we can get to be friends."

"Me too," I say. "I'm sure we'll get on really well." And I mean it.

Vampires keep arriving, and they all wonder at my creations. Some of them are already dancing, and the combination of grace and beauty makes me almost happy, too. And to make me really happy right in the moment Aro disappears to talk to some centuries-lost friends the Cullens walk through the door. They all look breathtaking in tuxedos and cocktail dresses, and I almost run to meet them.

"Esme, Carlisle! I missed you!" I wrap them both in a tight hug.

"We missed you too, hon," says Carlisle.

"Rosalie!" I exclaim, hugging her, too. "I'm sooo sorry I didn't go to your party!"

"Don't worry, Alice. I know it wasn't your fault."

I greet the rest of the family, but save my favourite one for last.

"Jasper," I breathe.

"Hello, Alice." He takes me lightly by the waist and kisses me on the cheek. Whe he moves away I take his hands.

"I so missed you all," I say, looking straight at him while I speak. We smile at each other, and we know we're both remembering those moments in the alley; the flow of our emotions is an endless current of love.

"Carlisle, my friend! How wonderful!" Aro's exclamation fills the air. The Cullens' smiles go from spontaneous charming to forcefully polite.

"Welcome to our little party," he says. As soon as he reaches us he takes my arm with one hand, surrounds my waist with the other, and pulls me creating two sides, the Cullens' and ours. I can feel his posessiveness in that gesture, he wants to make clear I belong to him. My feeling of nervousness for having my husband and my... lover face to face is replaced with a strange calmed sensation, and I know Jazz is messing with my mood to protects us both.

Then a new song starts, and Aro takes me to the dance floor. Carlisle, Esme, and the rest follow us and join the dance. Aro is a good dancer, that I can't deny. Nevertheless, his graceful movements are cold and inexpressive, he's more interested in showing the guests what a good couple we are than in forming a real connection with me, his dance partner. His ruby red eyes look at me, yet his mind is somewhere else. But as soon as the music changes everything becomes great.

"May I?" asks Jasper softly.

"Of course," answers Aro with a tense smile. He takes my hand and puts it on Jasper's.

When I start waltzing with Jazz everything is perfect. He's an even better dancer, he guides me with fluid and beautiful steps. And, unlike Aro, he makes me feel something deep in my heart, a chain that ties me to him forever. I try to let him know with my emotions and he smiles.

I notice the other vampires are looking at us, and I can't help feeling proud. Here I am, dancing with the man I love, in a blur of golden lights and blooming flowers. I am happy. Then comes Carlisle, and dances with me, too. I take turns with all the Cullen guys, we do this so my dancing with Jasper doesn't atract too much attention. I don't mind it, they are all true gentlemen, plus Emmett seems to have an endless supply of jokes. Great.

Then I walk around the hall, chatting with some people. Most of them tell me they are surprised I'm married to Aro, that I look too young, and those to whom I tell I'm mother just can't believe it. Suddenly, I catch Jasper's eye. He looks at me meaningfully and walks towards the garden. _Follow me_, his eyes seem to shout._ Follow me._ I make sure Aro is distracted and go outside.

We keep a few painful yards of distance from each other, and we walk until the lights are just dim points far away. He stops. I stop. He turns around and runs at vampire speed until he's only inches away from me. Without further explanation he takes my face in his cold hands and kisses me. This kiss is somehow more powerful than the first one, there's an urgency with the slightest flavor or the danger of getting caught. My body arches under his pressure and I sink my nails on his shoulders, trying to keep him here, with me, forever.

We kiss for a long time, enjoying the sweet passion of such a caress. And when he finally moves away, his breath comes in harsh pantings.

"I wanted to do this since I walked through that door," he says. "I just wasn't leaving without kissing you first."

"Of course you weren't. I wouldn't have let you."

He chuckles and presses his forehead to mine.

"And now," he announces, "a real, decent dance."

He presses me even tighter against him, satisfying every desire I felt back at the hall, the growing need to feel him close to me. My heart goes faster and louder than a helicopter, my face is burning, but I don't have to hide it. He moves to a slow rhythm, a very slow one, and while we move his eyes stay fixed on mine. I don't need his talent to know he feels exactly the same amount of wordless love I feel, and this realization is so wonderful I can barely repress tears. He leans forward and kisses me softly.

"I love you," he whispers. And, for the first time in my entire life, I know it's true.

And then we can't control our desperate need anymore. He pushes me against a log and kisses me ardently, this time on the neck. At the same time his hands move all the way over my back, they come to my shoulders, and descend, lightly brushing my breasts. Contrary to what could be expected after all the abuse I've been through, the feeling of his fingers as they touch my waist, as they caress my chest again, now with strenght and desire, doesn't repel me or scare me, but gets out of my lips a sound I'd never made before–a moan. It's not long before my own pantings join his.

I have desired him since the first time I saw him, and now, finally, I can have the pleasure of feeling the well-defined muscles of his chest, of running my fingers through his tangled brown curls as many times as I like. His face, his hands, his lips, everything, everything is now mine. He reaches under my dress and caresses my legs, which only makes it all even better, and the already wild sounds that come from both of us turn simply mindless. He tries to steady himself (unsuccesfully) before he tells me

"God, I shouldn't be doing this to a lady."

"And what if the lady wants you to do it?" I fire back.

He chuckles "Do you realize that five weeks ago we had never seen each other and we disliked the idea of meeting, and now we are madly, disgustingly in love, and making out like possesed?"

I giggle, and he growls in response. "I love it when you giggle. It... turns me on."

Then I giggle and giggle and giggle until his growls (and his hands) are totally inhuman, in-vampire, in-any logical or reasonable thing.

But when my hands slip down and try to reach for his belt he stops me.

"No, darling. Not here. Not tonight."

"Why?" I ask in the angriest tone I can manage through my pantings.

"Because," and now he slows down to make me pay attention, "right now there's nothing in this world I would like more than making love to you. But if we do it here, now, against this log or on the grass, it wouldn't be lovemaking, only sex. An ugly, dirty kind of sex that you do not deserve and that I will not give you. Listen, baby, the first time we make love it will be a wonderful and special thing, just like you, ok?"

There's a knot in my throat, caused by the emotion of knowing myself so loved, that makes it impossible to speak. Instead, I nod.

"I'm glad you understand. I do it for you. And now, go back in there and try to meet me next Wednesday at the Cathedral of Santa Maria Assunta at two o'clock, understood?" I nod. "Perfect. I love you."

"I love you, too," I finally manage to say.

***

The rest of the evening goes by as a dream. I'm on a cloud, inside a bubble of perfect happiness nothing can break. When the guests leave, I recall Jasper's smile in my head and get the perfect hostess smile. Aro almost can't believe the huge succes of his brother's party.

"They will talk about it for decades!" he says, back in our bedroom. "We have left them speechles! _You_ have left them speechless! Magnífico!" he exclaims, letting his so loved Spanish slip at the end."

I smile faintly, I'm just too exhausted. "I'm glad for you, and for Marco. We did our best, and it worked."

"It did!" he says, and comes closer to kiss my forehead. Then he notices my red eyes. "Poor thing, you must be so tired... rest now, my dear, you deserve it. And tomorrow I will buy you a dress, whichever you like. Sleep well, my love."

This is almost too beautiful. Not only I got to have a wonderful time with my Jasper, but i won't have to tolerate Aro tonight. Wow. I sit on the bed, and I hear something creaking under the mattress. I search under it and find a box. Oh no. I open it and find the rows of pink pills I've forgotten to take. Contraceptives. Aro had wondered why I hadn't conceived again, this is the reason. I try to remember and with a stab of horror I realize I haven't taken them since I met Jasper... more than a month ago. Quickly, I take out a small calendar and count the days.

I count again.

And again.

And again.

This can't be happening to me. It just can't. My period is six days late. I pray desperately, repeating over and over the same words: _please, please, this can't be happening. Don't let it be. Don't let me be pregnant._


	7. Hopeless

**Hello, my beautiful ones. Sorry about the delay. I meant to post this on Wednesday, but we had this awful Sports Day at school, and I had to go to another city to play, and... well, not that awful, my team won the Soccer Cup, yay! Anyway, I know I'm being really sadistic to Alice, but, dah, I enjoy it so much... Shame on me. Enjoy!**

**Hopeless**

I'm sitting on my bed, curled up in a ball

I cry

and cry

and cry

can't stop crying

look at it again

and again

and keep crying

whatamIgoingtodo whatamIgoingtodo whatamIgoingtodo

another look

another tear

I'm pregnant

No matter how many times I look at the third pregnancy test, it's not going to change. No matter how much I cry, I'll still be pregnant. No matter what I feel, no matter what I think, I still have Aro's child in my womb. Again.

And it's exactly the same as when I was expecting Sebastian. I still want to kill myself. I close my eyes, in an attempt to escape, and all I get is a flashback, sharpened by today's fresh terror. After trying to get rid of the child myself, I decided to tell my parents.

"_Mom, Dad, I... I need to tell you something. Something very important and serious."_

"_What is it, Alice? A bad grade? It's not that bad. Do we need an appointment with any teacher?"_

"_No, Mom, it's more than that. I'm... I'm..."_

"_Could you tell us today, please?" says Dad. "I have a meeting at work. C'mon, kid, there's no time to waste."_

"_I'm-I'm... I'm pregnant." I finally say._

_Silence. Utter silence. I dare not look up, fearing what I might see. And then-_

"_You whore__!!" yells Dad, as he slaps me across the face. "__How could you__!!!???" he shakes me by the shoulders. "__All the education we gave you, all the money we wasted in you, all for what!!?? So you can come and tell us you've been whoring somewhere and now you're going to have a bastard__?" he hits me again._

_I start crying and try to talk_

"_Dad, please, believe me, I didn't want to, I didn't, really, I was forced. I-"_

"_What do you mean, you didn't want to, you were forced? Explain yourself__!"_

"_I mean that I was raped!!" I shout. "I was raped." I repeat, miserably._

_Mom is crying silently in a corner. Dad is looking at me, his face almost purple with fury._

"_Liar__!" he hits me yet once more. "__You say that because it's easier for you to play the victim than to face what you really are and what you have done__! Now tell me, do you have the slightest idea who might be the father?"_

"_Yes. I know for sure."_

"_Very good. Now go get him and bring him here. NOW!"_

_I run and run, not knowing where to go. But, somehow, I run into Aro._

"_Alice, darling, how lovely to see you again!" he says. "I have not forgotten that wonderful last time, do you remember?" While he speaks he comes closer and strokes my cheek. I move away, nauseated by his contact. I do remember that last time._

"_My, my, what do I see?" he continues, pulling me to him again. "You have been crying. And your face is swollen. Has anyone hurt you?"_

_I nod. "My parents."_

"_And why?"_

"_Because... because... because I'm pregnant."_

"_What!?" he exclaims. His expression is utterly shocked, and I don't know what to expect._

"_What you've heard. I'm going to have a child. Your child."_

_He takes me by the shoulders and shakes me, just like Dad. "A-are you sure? Completely sure?"_

"_Yes."_

_He looks right into my eyes and neither of us says a word. And suddenly he hugs me so tight is almost painful._

"_Oh dear, a baby!" he says. From his voice I know he's laughing. "How wonderful! We are going to have a baby, our own little baby!"_

"_Shut up," I say bitterly. "I don't want it, and neither do you. But I've told my parents all about it, and they want to see you. Just tell them you'll pay for the abortion and disappear from my life."_

To my surprise, he went with me. He accepted the paternity, though he denied any violence around it. And he offered, not an abortion, which was what I wanted, but to marry me to repair any damage. To my greatest surprise, my parents accepted it, they were almost grateful with him for taking the responsibility. I even thought he had got me pregnant on purpose, so I had to become his wife. And now, almost four years later, here am I, just the same I was then: teenage, alone, pregnant, and hopeless.

I go to the mirror and examine my reflection. I look exactly the same I looked yesterday, or the day before. I focus on my stomach, trying to see any new curves, any new shapes. But no, there it is, flat as always. According to my calculations, I can't be more than a month, month and a half, maybe. I have the feeling that this happened last time Aro beat me, when he got all jealous because of Jasper. Jasper. Oh, dear, Jasper. How on Earth am I going to face him now? How will I be able to tell him, "hey, I love you, but I'm expecting another man's child"? No, I can't. I can't tell him, he'd hate me, hate my betrayal, and go away from me. And I just can't lose him.

My attention returns to my lower belly. I run a hand over it, trying to understand that there's a living being inside.

"It's not your fault," I whisper, looking at it. "I know you didn't ask to come. But I can't love you, I can't. I'm so sorry."

I don't know why, but I'm terrified of telling Aro. I don't know how he will react. It can be the same overjoy he felt when I told him about Sebastian, but also the blind fury I've seen so many times; in his eternal sick jealousy he might think the child is not his own and that could get really horrible. I think I'll wait, if his peaceful mood continues I'll tell him. Meanwhile, I'll cope with this alone.

I hear someone coming. Quickly, I hide the pregnancy tests and try to look normal. The door opens and a friendly smile comes in.

"Hi. It's me, Gianna."

_Gianna?_ It's Sunday afternoon, what on Earth is she doing here? "Hello, Gianna. What a surprise."

"Yeah, well," she laughs. "Aro noticed you hadn't taken any breakfast, and he was concerned. Since Jane and Alec are dealing with a little problem in Seattle he sent _me_ with a few things."

Ah yes. She's carrying a tray, I hadn't noticed before. "Thank you. That's so kind."

I _am_ hungry. I'd only been too depressed to eat. But when I draw closer to Gianna and smell the food a sudded wave of nausea hits me and I barely make it to the bathroom before being violently sick. This is so like my first pregnancy... If I'd had any doubt about my condition before, it's gone now.

When I return to the room Gianna is looking at me with genuine concern. Poor girl, I do like her. What I don't understand is why she finds this place so attractive, knowing the truth and the constant danger she's in. I can only guess Demetri has something to do with this. Anyway, I try to reassure her.

"Sorry about that." I smile, a bit embarrased. "I haven't been feeling well these days. Must have eaten something. But I really appreciate the food."

"Are you sure you're better now? I can call Aro and-"

"No! I mean, no, um, I don't want to, er, trouble him with such nonsense. It would be unnecesary worry."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. But if you need anything, don't doubt to tell me, ok?"

Sweet Gianna. Always the perfect assistant. "Ok. Thanks again."

When she leaves, I eat a little and go back to crying.

***

Time goes by faster than I thought and suddenly it's Wednesday morning, the day of my date with Jasper. Just like with Aro, I'm terrified to tell him about the new baby. I still haven't decided anything when I go to meet him.

I arrive to the cathedral of Santa Maria Assunta a little before the agreed hour. I sit on one of the benches and try to pray. I've never been religious, not even when I was a child, and since I got married I lost all faith in God, Alah, Zeus, or whoever it is that lives up there. But right now I need as much help as possible.

I'm deep in thought, and therefore I'm startled when I hear a soft bass voice right in my ear

"You are an angel talking to God." I feel a kiss on my cheek. "So beautiful."

I turn around and find Jasper. I stand up and hold him tight. The embrace of his cold arms is the warmest feeling ever, just what I needed.

"Today I want to take you somewhere quieter, is that ok with you?"

"Of course it is, whatever you do is ok with me."

He pecks me on the lips and opens the door of his car. We drive for a while, well, he drives, with a hand on the steering wheel and the other one on mine.

"Did you have any problems after our... after the party?" he asks.

"No," I say. "I thought he'd catch the new scent, but when he did he only said 'You smell kind of like citrics. Is is a new perfume?'" I can't help laughing at that.

Jasper laughs, too. "Interesting. I'll get you a citric perfume, anyway, just to be on the safe side." He kisses me.

Finally, we arrive to a kind of field. We stop, get out, and start walking. This is the south of the city, and I particularly like it because of its trees. The tallest cypress and oak tree you'll ever find are in Volterra. They form a kind of nest above us and I feel protected.

"This is a place where we usually hunt," explains Jasper, one arm tenderly wrapped around my waist. "But today I'll show you the sweet part of it."

We keep walking and find a small brook, whose bank is completely covered with flowers. We lay beside it, facing each other. For a while neither of us say anything, and then the tips of his fingers brush against my face, cheeks, my lips.

"I love you so much..." says Jasper. "I never thought such amount of love could even exist."

"Well, I love you more," I tell him. "You've rescued me, you've given meaning to my life. You have saved me."

"No, _you_ have saved me. Every second I love you more, and more, and more..." his words are lost in his kisses. They are passionately tender, more comforting than anything else I've ever felt in my life. With him loving me I forget anything else, my problems don't exist as long as he is by my side We keep kissing, rolling on the grass, it's all kisses and caresses for us. Nothing else exists now, just us and our love.

Nevertheless, when the sun hides between the branches we know it's time to go. He rises and helps me up. But when I get on my feet my head starts spinning and my vision turns blurry and black. Jasper catches me before I fall.

"Darling, what is it?" he asks me. "What do you feel, baby? Let me help you."

I wait until I get my sight back and my head straight. "It's ok, I'm better now," I say, and it's true. But I suddenly remember the reason of my spinning head and a wave of terror washes through me.

"Alice, what was that?" Jasper asks again. Damn, I forgot his emotions control.

"N-nothing. I just... I must have moved too fast, and-"

"You know that's not what I mean. You panicked. I could almost see your fear. Alice, could you please tell me what's going on? This is _not_ normal."

I take a deep breath and count to three. "Jasper, I... I... I have something to tell you. I just want you to listen to me, and if after that you want to leave me, it's ok. I understand."

"Leave you? Why would I? Honey, what is it?"

"I... I..."

"_Alice_.." his voice is urgent now. I can't hide it anymore. I close my eyes and try to gain courage. He takes my face between his hands. "_Alice !! What is going on?_"

"I'm pregnant!" I shout. I bury my face in my hands and there's an unbearable silence I desperately try to break. "I swear I didn't want to. It's just that... since I met you... I forgot everything else... contraceprives included, and... it happened."

His face is stone, marble. He's the one breathing deeply now. He runs a hand through his hair and looks down. The silence is so strong I can hear every single of my heartbeats and the blood rushing in my veins. Any moment now. Any moment he'll tell me how horrible I am and that he doesn't want to see me ever again. I see it coming. Any moment.

"Come. Come here, Alice." He looks at me and opens his arms. I stay where I am, too confused to move. "Come," he insists.

Since I still don't move he's the one who comes. He wraps his arms lovingly around my body, in a most beautiful embrace.

"Don't worry, sweetheart," he says, stroking my hair. "Don't be scared. I was with you, and I am with you, and I will always, always be with you, ok?"

"Don't you hate me?"

"Hate you? Why would I? I know this is not your fault. I won't tell you I'm delighted, but I give you your own words: no matter who else's, this baby is yours. And I love every single part of you."

I don't deserve this kindness. He knows, and he understands, he doesn't blame me or despise me, he still wants me with him. He gives me a kiss that goes straight to my heart, so deep, so warm, so intense it is. And then he goes down and kisses my lower belly, right over where the baby is supposed to be. God, I really don't deserve all this love.

Now, I have to tell Aro.


	8. Secrets

**Secrets**

_Do not panic, _I tell myself. _Do not panic. Do not panic._

I just have to tell my husband I'm expecting his second child. This has to be easy. If I could do it once, I can do it twice. I go to his study and find the door open.

"Alice, do not disturb me now," he says as soon as he sees me. "I'm busy." He turns back to his papers.

"But, Aro, I've got to tell you something very important."

"Later. I do not have time now. Go do something productive and we will talk later."

"But-"

"Can you not understand? I do not want you here. I cannot concentrate. If I say later, then I mean later, is it clear? Now go away. Dissapear." He waves his hand, not even bothering to look at me.

"Ok, Aro. Sorry."

Well, I tried. If he doesn't want to listen to me, it's his problem. I just hope he won't blame me for his behaviour. Right now I have more important stuff to deal with, like this stupid craving for some chili powder. I practically assault the kitchen, built specially for Sebastian and me, sometimes Gianna, we're the only ones who eat here. I start with just a bit of powder, but it tastes so good that I give up and take the whole bottle with me to my bedroom. _Interesting choice,_ I think towards my new baby. _Your brother was all Oreos and bubble gum._

And I meet the brother on my way upstairs, playing in the hallway. He runs towards me with his arms open and I pick him up.

"Hi, my darling," I say, kissing his cheek. "Did you behave well?" I ask this with all the intention of getting a spoken answer, but he only looks at me, smiles, and nods. I try again. "What do you want to do now?" he points at his bedroom. "Sebs, honey, please say something," I insist, but he only uses gestures. I kiss his hand and hold him tight. My poor mute baby. When will you call me 'mom'?

We go into his bedroom and sit on the floor. It's a beautiful bedroom: walls and ceiling painted light blue, and tons of teddy bears everywhere. Tons of all kinds of toys, actually, cars, little trains that really move, Lego pieces, puzzles, airplanes hanging from the ceiling, music boxes... The rug shows a little town, with tiny buildings and people embroidered. Yes, a beautiful bedroom, but I can't take the credit. It was Renata who worked on it, while Aro was somewhere ruining people's lives, while I was trying to figure out a way to escape –though I was swollen like a balloon by then-, and while Jane was still getting over the fact that I had taken the place she'd fought for during centuries.

And so now my son shares with me his little kingdom, we sit on the rug and take turns with the chili bottle. No words are necessary, my child's silence has created a bond far deepeer than anyone could imagine. And thanks to that bond something happens, something that leaves me speechless: Sebastian crawls towards me and lays his head on my lower belly, rubbing his hand against the spot where the baby is. He knows! Somehow, he has understood that there's another baby coming. Wow. Now, the magic and purity of this unbelievable toddler produces yet another miracle: seeing his love for this new creature I remember how my first pregnancy was, and how I grew to worship my child; in that second an overwhelming love blooms from the very centre of my heart and goes right to my womb. The words I said before hit me now: no matter who else's, these kids are mine. My children. And I will fight for them.

I hear voices from downstairs. It's Aro, yelling at his guard. I decide I will keep the secret of this new pregnancy for as long as I can, and try to be the best of wives all the while, so he doesn't get mad when I finally tell him. In theory he should not be angry, he should be as glad as the first time, but, bah, everything is possible with him. Better accumulate merits and catch him in a good mood.

"Daddy must not know about this, ok?" I whisper to Sebastian, running a hand over my belly. He understands and nods. "Try not to be near him, so he doesn't touch you. I'll help you." He nods again and puts his tiny arms around my neck. Then the door opens and Daddy comes in.

"Here you are," he says, looking at me. "What was that so important thing you wanted to tell me?"

"Nothing. I mean, I... I thought it better and it wasn't so important. D-don't worry about it." Damn. Why can't I lie better? Even I can hear my heart and I'm looking down. He notices, of course. He walks towards us and stops right in front of me. Then, suddenly, he slaps me. Immediately, I push Sebastian back and shield him with my body, but Aro doesn't move again.

"You better pray I don't catch you in a lie, kitten, because you will regret it. And do not take too long in returning to our room. Tonight you will not escape."

He leaves and I press my now sobbing baby boy against my heart. I'm praying, certainly, but I will escape. Maybe not tonight, but soon. Soon.


	9. Cheating

Ha, ha! Against all odds, I've finished this chapter. My most sincere apologies for the delay. Hey, any of you USA people spring breaking in Mexico? Anyway, today I hand in the Twilight essay I asked your help for. As soon as I get the translation checked –the original is in Spanish- I'll post it here. Once more, thanks to all of you who contributed to my Spanish homework. You rok. Enjoy this!

Cheating

It's been three weeks since I told Jasper about the baby I'm expecting. I feel much better now, not so many cravings and symptoms as before. The only tiny little problem is, _I still haven't told Aro._

The thing is, whenever I try to tell him he either is very, very busy and doesn't pay attention to me, or he completely notices me and wants to fuck me. Which, of course, he does. So there's never really been a chance to talk. Instead, in these two months I've decided to fake my periods so I can get him off me at least a week; experience has taught me that he doesn't see pregnancy as an obstacle for intimacy. Right now it's much better if I keep my child a secret.

But of course, I can't keep pretending for long. In a couple of weeks, a month at the most, my pregnancy will start to show. I remember how it was like with Sebastian, we barely had time to get a dress and get married when bam!, I looked like I'd swallowed a watermelon. This time I'm not trying to get rid of the child, both because my former unsuccessful attempts prove that it's pointless and because I originally didn't want a baby to chain me to Aro, I didn't want to have anything in common with him. And since that has already happened... there's no need to worry. Ah, if only my husband would listen to me...

"Alice!"

Dah. Speak of the devil. I rush downstairs while he keeps shouting my name over and over again.

"Alice! Where were you?" he says, taking my hand. "You are so slow..."

"I'm no super-fast vampire, nor do I have wings. I'm human," I answer without thinking.

"Watch your tone with me, love," he says tersely, increasing the pressure in my arm till my eyes water with the pain of it. "Remember you are by far the least important person in this place."

"Yes, Aro. I'm sorry."

"Much better. Now, to my study."

As soon as the door closes behind us he says,

"I'm leaving. I don't know when I'll come back."

The news surprise me. "What?"

"I said I am leaving. Jane has just called. She said that the thing in Seattle she and Alec were supposed to fix has gone out of control. Now I have to go personally and take care of it before it is too late."

"But what's the problem?"

"That is none of your business. You only need to know that for as long as I am away Marcus will be in charge. His word is law. But your situation and place here has not changed. I shall be informed of every single thing you do, so do not even think of doing anything funny. Take care of our son, with Jane and me gone you are the only one he will listen to. I trust you will soon be able to make him talk. You had better," he adds with a smile.

"Yes, Aro."

"Very good. Now, come closer."

He starts kissing and undressing me. I try to repel him, c'mon, we're in his study, but when I tell him so he only answers,

"Have I asked you your opinion?"

Thank God he's fast today, because I still have pregnancy sickness, and when it joins the sickness his contact produces the result is not at all pleasant. Sooner than I thought we're out of his study and he disappears in The Black Van, where I conceived Sebastian. I return to the Hall and meet Felix.

"He's gonna kill me one of these days," I sigh.

"And that's my problem because... no, wait, it's not my problem." he says.

"Argh!" I growl.

"Hey, relax. I sincerely hope he doesn't kill you, because, well, you're very easy on the eyes, one of the few things to look forward to when I'm here. Moreover, now that the cat's gone, we mice can play, can't we?" he strokes my cheek and looks me over.

I roll my eyes. "Get a life, Felix. And a girlfriend too, if possible."

He's the one who sighs now. "Women." he says, and leaves.

Anyway, I'll use this Aro-free days to be with my Jasper. I get ready, make up and dress for him, but when I'm about to go Demetri stops me.

"Sorry, Alice, you can't go out."

"But why?"

"Aro's orders. He said that you can't go out until he's back."

"But why?" I insist.

"I have no idea, and even if I did I wouldn't tell you. But for as long as Aro is away, no going out, no using the phone, no contact with the exterior at all, understood?"

I so badly want to punch him, but with that I would only get a finger or two broken, so I nod and leave. He'll pay for this. One day. I swear.

***

Days go by, and each time I feel lonelier and crazier. I haven't been able to talk to Jasper, let alone see him. Sometimes I chat with a member of the guard, but that doesn't really help much. Right now my best companion is my son, who listens to me with true interest and concentration.

"Look at this," I tell him one day. I'm standing in front of the mirror in my room, analyzing the tiny little bump that has finally appeared. "Give it a month and Mommy will be fatter than a cow."

Sebastian makes some sounds, trying to imitate a cow.

"Exactly. But what would you prefer, my darling, a baby brother or a sister?"

He only looks at me, not a sound, not a word, merely a smile.

"Sebs," I say, sitting next to him, "what's the mater, honey? Why don't you talk? You know I would never hurt you, baby, you're safe with me." I stroke his honeyish curls, in hopes of making him talk, but, as always, my boy is silent.

I hug him, both, one arm around my son and the other around my stomach. Though I'm trapped inside the castle these days have been the happiest of my life, filled with my children and peace; since I got married I'd never lived so long without getting hit for one thing or another. But now it's time to try to go out, before I go completely crazy.

"Um, Marcus?"

"What do you need, Alice?" he asks, without moving his eyes from his book.

"Well, it's been three weeks since Aro left, and I was wondering if I could, well, go out."

He sighs, and finally looks at me.

"Alice, you know you do not depend of me. I am not the one to give you permission to do something, Aro is. And he said very clearly that you were not allowed to go anywhere until he gets back."

"But he also said that he was leaving you in charge, and that your word was law. Therefore, you are the one to give me permission."

"And what if he finds out?"

"You'll tell him I threw a fit, and that the only way to shut me up was letting me go."

"You are not one for fits, girl, and he knows it. Plus, as far as I know, a few slaps across the face have always been an effective way to shut you up."

Grr. He's right.

"Ok, Marcus, I see. Sorry to disturb you. Bye."

I walk towards the door when I hear his voice again.

"Alice?"

I allow myself a brief smile before turning to him. "Yes, Marcus?"

"All right, kid. You win. Go wherever you like. But be back before eight."

"I will, Marcus. Thanks."

"Alice?"

"Yes?"

"You could also lose some weight. I remember Aro saying that what he liked most about you was that you were petite and slender. Do not disappoint him."

_I'm pregnant!_ I want to shout, _Of course I've put on some weight!_ But I don't want to discuss that right now. Instead, I nod and disappear.

The fresh air feels so good on my skin... I hadn't realized how desperately I needed it. I breathe deeply, trying to absorb as much world as possible. Calling Jasper would be suicidal, because the number would get registered in my phone, and if Aro checks it –which I know he does-... I decide to just show up at his place.

He gets the door. When he sees me he smiles and his eyes shine. I'm pretty sure that's only my own reaction mirroed; he's the sun I'd been yearning to see for weeks.

"Alice," he breathes. I love how he says my name, with a certain softness and charm that melt me.

"Jasper," is all I can say.

"Come in," he says. "There's no one else at home, they've all gone hunting. We're safe."

As soon as he closes the door he takes me in his arms and kisses me. I could get lost in his kisses, it seems as if I were born for them, something so natural, so easy, so healthy, so good.

"I missed you like crazy," he says as we sit on the couch, and he sounds almost angry. "Where have you been? Why haven't you even called?"

When I tell him the whole story he shakes his head in exasperation.

"That man is sick. Sick." And then, to my surprise, he starts laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"That even though his jealousy is crazy, and that he's an obsessive monster... he's right! He does all this because he doesn't want you to cheat on him, and we both get angry because of it, but he's right! You're actually cheating on him! He's the aggraviated one!"

I see the stupidity of the situation and laugh with him. When we calm down he says,

"Take off the jacket. I want to see you."

When I obey him his eyes widen,

"Jesus, Alice," he says. "Hasn't anybody noticed _that_?"

"Is it that awful?" I ask, caressing my bump.

"Not awful, but way too obvious. You're small and thin, so it stands out a lot."

"I think Marcus sees something. Today he told me I should lose weight."

Jasper chuckles.

"Tell me the truth," I command him. "Besides the stomach, am I really much fatter?" The last thing I want is to become huge and disgusting.

"No, you're not. What you are is much, much sexier." He pulls me to him and kisses me again, this time extending to my neck and shoulders. "You _are_ filling up a bit," he adds, "but only in the right places," he finishes, running his hands over my now more prominent curves.

I sit on his lap to kiss him better. His mouth on mine is as soft and gentle as it is strong, passionate, and intense. His lips taste of ripe fruit, orange, strawberry, mango. His hands move from my legs, which are at both sides of his torso, to my waist, shyly slipping under my blouse. I don't want him to be shy, not at all, so I start undoing the buttons of the blouse myself. His eyes fix themselves on my breasts, while I rock back and forth over him. His gaze stays long there, until he kisses my mouth again and follows the path to the skin he had been contemplating. My fingers tangle in his hair, grasping handfuls of it, and I don't know when I start moaning, I just feel the sounds coming out of my lips. His growls soon join in and it is only between pantings that he manages to say,

"Do you want to go upstairs?" as soon as he speaks he continues nibbling at my neck.

"_Do you really have to ask !?_" I growl back.

And before I notice he's taken me in his arms and sets off running at top speed. And upstairs we go.


	10. Alice in Wonderland

**Alice in Wonderland**

We're like possesed, wrapped in an urgency that knows no limits. We tear off our clothes, hardly able to wait to belong to each other. Our kisses might set the room on fire, but we don't pay attention to it.

He looks at my naked body and whispers, "You're so beautiful."

But no, he's the beautiful one. A perfectly carved marble chest, a figure that is flawless in every way. He moves back and forth, and the contact of his body against my boiling skin is deliciously cold. Not the horrible, painful coldness of Aro's body here, no, this is a wonderful freshness I can't get tired of.

We roll on the bed, with his hungry lips and hands all over my body, and viceversa. I love knowing myself desired so intensely, enjoyed so deeply. I love being able to provide such pleasure, and that someone cares so much to give me that same pleasure. For, I have to admit, he's amazing at this kind of thing. Even though his desire, his almost wild need, are palpable in the air, he's a gentle lover, with soft, delicate movements whose passion makes them even more tender. When you see him for the first time, so calm and reserved, always proper and controlled, you can never imagine there's this ardent man behind, and I'm just so happy to be the one to enjoy him, to get all his beauty, his strenght, his... love.

And it's just so convenient that a human like me can't hurt a vamp like him. Otherwise my nails, sometimes sunk on his shoulders, sometimes scraping his back, my fingers, pulling his hair, or my teeth, that bite his neck as if I were the vampire, would not be very nice at all. But they are, I think, or he wouldn't growl the way he does, whisper those intelligible words in my ear. His hands moves over my legs and torso, and his lips seal mine. _He's just so damn good at this..._

Then I belong completely to him, I'm nothing but his, body and soul consagrated to my man, the only one I love. He thrusts in and out quickly, giving me more pleasure, more ecstasy than I thought it could possibly exist, and I feel this is my real first time. I moan, cry out, and all the filth, all the disgusting things I've experienced in the past, everything is gone, for now I'm truly Alice in Wonderland, this out of body experience beats anything else I've felt before.

"I wanted to do this to you since the very first second I saw you," he mutters as he thrusts and kises me, and the knowledge makes me moan even louder. Oh dear, give it a minute and I'll run out of voice.

We fit together so perfectly, puzzle pieces perfectly created. And when he's done, we look at each other, panting, breathless, exhausted.

"I love you," he whispers.

"I love you," I answer.

We kiss softly, and that kiss gives us more strenght. We start all over again, now taking our time, doing it sweet and slowly, enjoying every second of it. When, finally, we're really done, he opens his arms and I curl against his chest. Time passes and I don't even notice it, loving and being so loved as now.

But everything has to end, no matter how beautiful, unbelievable, amazing it is. I am forced to get out of the bed if I want to arrive to the castle on time. It does take me a while, because Jasper is set not to let me go and we spend a while playing and fighting. But in the end I manage to shower –I need to hide the scent- and get dressed. We go downstairs and he kisses me once more before giving me a small bottle.

"It's the citrus perfume I promised to get you," he explains. "That way you won't have any problems."

When I leave the house I'm dazzled and everything is beautiful. The sky, the wind, the streets, everything seems to be smiling, to be as happy as I am. I feel strong, a real woman for the first time, invincible, powerful. Who would have said that sex has such healthy, possitive effects. One week ago I'd never have thought it possible, and yet now... Yes, I'm completely happy.

While I walk I remember the details of this new adventure and a big smile draws itself on my face, until...

"Alice."

No. Please, God, don't let it be. I know this voice. No, please. I turn around. There he is. Aro. He's driving The Van and staring at me. A cold wave washes through me, taking all the pleasant feelings away. For some reason I remember when I read Harry Potter, and I wondered how it felt like to meet a Dementor. Well, here's the answer.

"Get in the car. Now." His voice is calm, cold. I look at him and for a moment I can't move. Then –for I have no other option- I get in the car.

There's a tense silence, and I dare not breaking it. His face is stone, unreadable, and I don't know what will happen next. He drives, and drives, and drives, and soon I realize this is not the way to the castle. What is he planning? I slip my hand under the jacket, run my hand over my bump, as if trying to soothe it, and wait. It's not much longer until he stops. We're on a deserted street, it's already dark, and a cool breeze is blowing. He opens his door and gets out, then opens mine and pulls me out. He drags me to the pavement, looks at me for a while, and slaps me hard across the face.

"What were you doing on the street?" he asks while he shakes me by the shoulders.

"I-I just went for a walk. I was bored, I hadn't gone out since you left, and-"

"I don't believe you!" he roars, and hits me again. I can taste blood in my mouth now.

"What can I do then? It's the truth."

"Don't you dare talk to me like that! You were with a man, weren't you? You were fucking around with someone else!"

Worst is, he's right, but of course I'm not going to tell him. What I need to tell him before he kills me is that I'm pregnant.

"Aro, wait, I'm-"

"Shut the hell up! Who told you to speak, you worthless little kid?"

"But-"

"I told you to shut up!" he screams as he keeps hitting me.

Then he does the worst, his own coup de grace. He grabs me by the hair and pushes me against a wall, once, twice, three times... in a way that my stomach gets hit first all three times.

It's a matter of seconds before I feel the pinch in my lower belly. It's a kind of contraction, like when Sebastian was born. My hand flies to my stomach and I let out a low growl of pain as another contraction hits me.

"What, now?" Aro asks.

I somehow manage to open my jacket and show him the curve in my body

"Oh God," he says in a sharp breath. "Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. No. It can't be. You're..."

"I'm pregnant, yes!" I shout. "I was trying to tell you, but you wouldn't listen!" the pain is way too horrible, worse than birth pain. My legs give in and my body crouches with the feeling. I feel a wetness and see the red thread running down my legs, but I don't need them to know what's happening.

"Aro, I'm losing it. I'm losing the baby."

I look up and see his eyes are filled with shock and terror. He takes me in his arms and runs to the Van.

"I'll get you to a hospital," he says, driving like the maniac he is. "I'm so sorry, darling. Why didn't you tell me before? But don't worry, love, you'll be safe. Both of you."

But my mother instinct tells me that it is all over.


	11. Lost

**Hello !! Did you like ****Remember Me**** ? You've seen it, right? Wow, I hadn't cried like that in five years... but it's an excellent movie. Anyway, as always, thank you for your patience and support. Enjoy !****Lost**Aro's POV

I almost fly to the hospital. She is in my arms, twitching in pain with her hands over her stomach. Moans escape her lips now and then. She is pale, pale as an immortal, all her strenght has gone to the red stain in her legs, and it is all my fault.

How could I? How could I do that to her? But then again, why didn't she tell me she was expecting a child? When I hand her to the doctor and he checks her, he tells me that she was almost four months pregnant. Why did she keep it a secret? Does she not know that what I want the most is having children with her? Didn't she see how thrilled I was when our son was born? Desperation eats me while I wait in the hallway for news. I walk and walk, like a lion in a cage, guilt and anguish corroding my whole being. Then the doctor comes out, wearing a stern expression.

"Doctor, how is she?" I demand. "And the baby? Is the baby safe?"

He looks at me and then speaks. "She's a bit weak, because she lost a lot of blood, but other than that she'll be fine. About the baby... I'm so sorry. There was nothing we could do. The injuries were too serious. I'm truly sorry."

She lost the baby. No, _I_ made her lost the baby. I killed it. Such a monster...

"May I see her?" I ask.

"Sure. This way, please."

"Does she know about... this?"

"Yes. But she's very calm, not a tear, not a cry. Maybe she still needs to assimilate it, and, as I said before, she's also weak. Just be careful with her, she might break down at any moment."

We go into the room. There she is, my Alice, pale as a ghost, her blue eyes dark, sad. You would never guess she's seventeen, her usually soft features are sharpened and her head is raised with an impressive, mature dignity. She looks at us, her eyes expressionless.

"There you are," she says softly. She sounds so tired...

"Sorry to disturb again, miss, but we need to go through a few things."

"No problem. But don't call me miss, that's too formal. Just Alice."

"All right, then. Well, Alice, I have a few questions. How old are you?"

"Twenty-two," she answers calmly.

"Really? You don't look twenty-two. I mean, your body's development is that of a... sixteen-, seventeen-year-old."

"I'm small for my age. Always been."

"If you say so. You're young, I suppose this is your first pregnancy."

"Second. I have a son, he's almost four."

"But then you gave birth at what, nineteen? That was too early, way too early, and more for your body. An early pregnancy might be the cause of this-" Alice looks at me and then away again. "-incident. But what happened here? This wasn't a spontaneous abortion."

"I... I f-fell. Yes, I fell downstairs."

"And the stairs gave you these?" he shows her her own forearm. There are bruises on her skin, and when the doctor places his hand on them they perfectly match fingerprints. Damn it.

"Yes," she said.

"And this?" asks he again, brushing lightly the left side of her face. It's swollen and becoming slightly purple. I look at her from behind the doctor, trying to stop her from making unnecessary noise.

"Our stairs are made of stone," she insists. "If you fall, they leave you the weirdest bruises."

"Hm," frowns the doctor, still unconvinced. He turns to me. "I'd still like to talk to your daughter's boyfriend, if possible."

"What?" I ask, puzzled.

"Yes, whoever lives with her," he explains, gesturing at Alice.

"This girl is my wife. This was my child."

"Oh," mumbles the doctor, realizing his mistake. "Well, in that case..." I look at Alice, whose lips are curled in a sarcastic, sad smile.

"Could you give us a minute?" asks she.

"Sure. Anything you need, just let me know," he says. She smiles, more sincerely now, and he leaves.

I sit on the bed, beside her. I can't think of anything to say.

"I'm so sorry," I finally whisper.

"Never mind," she says quietly. "It's over now."

"I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear," I insist.

"It would have been too much, that you had actually meant to do this," she replies.

"But why didn't you tell me you were pregnant? Why?"

"I... I didn't know how... and whenever I tried you were too busy, you wouldn't listen to me... and then you left, and then... this happened," she looks down.

I'm surprised at how calmed she is. Not a tear, not a cry, not a reproach. Any other woman in her situation would be devastated, furious at whoever provoked that, yet Alice... and so young, just going on eighteen, and-

"Do you need anything else?" she asks. "I'd like to be alone."

"Oh. Yes, sure. I-I'll see you later. Bye."

When I'm about to leave the room she speaks again.

"I want to see my son. Bring him."

"I will."

While the door closes behind me I try to think of a way to cheer her up. Maybe flowers, or gifts, like when I courted her. But no, I need something better, this is no simple thing. Who can help us, who can comfort her no matter what? It would need magic, a special talent, a... wait. I know who that person is. I take out my cell and phone Jasper Cullen.

**Hope you liked it. And, don't forget it, you can find me in Facebook under the name Alice Michelle BrandonWhitlock, or with my e-mail, sxyvamp_. And for you Twitter people, I **_**think**_** I'm RoviCullen, but I'm not sure, so please use the above mentioned e-mail adress. See ya!**


	12. Hidden Truths

**Hi there, my beloved readers. Can you guess who's just got an A**** in her Twilight essay? Can you? Can you? Moi !!! Whoo hoo !! In fact, the next chapter won't really be a chapter, but the essay itself. You helped me to write it, now it's time to know if I did a good job. But right now I want you to enjoy this new chapter. Bye !**

**Hidden Truths**

Jasper's POV

I drive like maniac, blind fury blocking all my senses. Damn him. Damn him a thousand times. I'd gladly kill him with my bare hands, tearing off his skin with my own nails. He killed her child, I'm sure he did. Does he really think I believe she "fell"? That it was an accident? Honestly.

But right now I'm terrified for her. It's obvious he beat her, but why? Did he see her going out of my house? Does he know about us? I don't think so, because then he wouldn't have called me, would he? What happened after she left? Aro –to even think of his name gives me nausea- said that she's _weird_, she's not crying, nor screaming, on the contrary, she's kept quiet, sad, obviously, and tired, but strangely quiet. That's why he needs me, so I can get her to let it all go with my talent. We'll see.

When I arrive to the hospital I run at almost vampire speed to her room. I find Aro in the hallway and it takes all my willpower not to kill him here and now.

"Jasper, thank God you are here," he says. "You are the only one who can help her. Use all your talents, anything you need. Good luck. I'm afraid I have to leave now, she wants the child and I must go get him; I was waiting for you because I didn't want to leave her alone. Just let me tell her you have come."

He opens the door and we come in. She's awake, and the vision is painful. There can be no bigger amount of sadness than the one Alice feels. She pretends, but she's dying inside. That's so like her, this double life, this double face. And to think that just a few hours ago we were... it all seems so irreal now, like it belongs to another life. When she turns her face to us I see the purple shadow covering part of the left side. If that's the result of a fall, then I'm a werewolf.

The moment she sees me she goes paler, impossibly paler, and fear hits her. She remembers what happened between us earlier today, she doesn't understand why I'm here and she doesn't want to get me in trouble.

"I called him," explains Aro. "Talk to him, it will do you good. I will be back soon, with Sebastian. See you."

He leaves and we look at each other, not being able to move or speak. Then I run to her side and hug her tight. Her arms wrap me, too, and she buries her face in my chest.

"My baby," she says softly. "My baby. My baby."

She starts sobbing and in two seconds she melts in an endless stream of tears. She cries and cries and cries, repeating the same words over and over, "My baby." It hurts too much to see her so broken, her pain is my pain, her suffering my own. I stroke her tangled hair and her back, and kiss the top of her head. She still smells of the bed, of the sheets, of our love.

She cries for fifteen minutes straight and then calms down. I don't interfere at all, what she needs is someone to trust, someone who holds her and lets her cry and doesn't ask questions, and that's what I try to be. When she feels better she looks up.

"Sorry about that. I just..."

"I know, love," I say, kissing her wet face. "Don't worry."

"Thanks. He called you?" I nod. "Wow. Are you sure he doesn't suspect anything?"

"Yes. He was relieved to see me, he was pleased."

"Ok. Everything will be fine."

"Hope so. Now tell me, what happened, darling?"

When she tells me the story I feel the murderous rage poisoning me again. I can't help thinking of how I want to destroy that monster. She notices, and says,

"No, honey. There's no point in being angry, everything is over. I don't want to see that look of hatred in your eyes ever again, understood?" she kisses my eyelids.

"Absolutely. How do you feel?"

"Ugh," she sighs, letting herself fall on the matress. "Physically, a disaster. My whole abdomen hurts, plus my arms and face. I have a few bruises on the legs, and my muscles ache, but I think that's something else," her eyes twinkle naughtily. "Morally, confused."

"Why?"

"I really don't know how to feel about this. You see, I can't say I wanted that baby, I never planned or desired it. I knew it would make everything more complicated, escaping, or living there, whatever I decided to do would be harder with two children. And both Aro's, to make it worse. But, still... well, it was my baby, part of me. No one had any right to touch it. It was mine. _Mine_."

"I know, love. You're the best mother I've ever seen. Sebastian is the luckiest child on Earth for having a mom like you," I tell her, kissing her hand.

"Ah, my son. I remember when he was born. I refused to see him for an entire week. Then Aro forced me to breastfeed him because the bottle was giving him colics. I still tried to spend as little time as possible with him. But then, one day, he caught a cold that by night had turned into the worst fever/neumonia ever. He was a month old, but the doctor said we should be prepared to lose him. It was then, when I realized he might go, that I knew I couldn't live without him. From being 'the kid' he turned into 'my child'. I nursed him day and night until he recovered. And since then I worship him, as you have seen."

For a while I don't say anything, but her voice breaks the silence.

"Thanks," she says.

"What for?"

"Existing, I guess. That's divine enough. Being here with me, supporting me, tolerating me, comforting me. You know you're taking a great risk, yet here you are."

"Because I love you."

"Exactly. That's the beauty, the wonder of it all. You love me. That's way more than I could have ever thought possible. You've given me hope, Jasper, and I'll always be grateful." She smiles lovingly at me. "I love you."

I lean forward and kiss her on the mouth. She places a hand on my cheek and the other on my arm while she gently kisses me back. And it's this what the doctor finds when he opens the door.

"Oh, dear, I'm so sorry, I- I didn't mean to, I..."

"Don't worry, doctor, it's ok," laughs Alice. "We would appreciate your discretion, though."

"Y-yeah, sure."

"Now let me guess: you're here because you don't believe a word of what my husband and I said before and you're taking advantage of his not being here to get me to tell the truth."

"Well, yes, that's it. But if I'm interrupting I can come back later, or-"

"No, no, it's fine. He knows everything. So, what do you need to know?"

"The bruises." Back on medical grounds the doctor seems more confident than when witnessing our half making-out.

"My husband beat me. He pushed me against a wall and my stomach got hit. That's why I lost the child," she says matter-of-factly.

"I see," he comments softly, but I can feel anger starting to run through him. "You've had sexual contact recently, that might also have been a reason."

"No," she says quickly. "That's got nothing to do. And, please, um, you don't really have to, er, tell my husband that, you know," she blushes softly.

"Right. I won't," he glances at me. "You have another child, right?"

"Yes, a three-year-old boy."

"Ok. You're small for your age. Malnutrition, or anything like that?"

"No, just age itself. I'm seventeen."

"What?" he gasps, truly shocked now.

"What you've heard. I'm seventeen."

"You were _fourteen_ when you gave birth?"

"Yes."

"Were you already married?"

"Yes. Well, we got married because I was pregnant."

"It's your husband's child?"

"Yes."

"Ok. Look, I need to ask this because it all has to do with what's happening to you right now. This is not the first time he hits you."

"No."

"Christ," he sighs. "It's that first kid what worries me the most. You were nowhere near ready to be mother. And, forgive me if I offend you, but some of this might also have to do with beggining your sexual life so young."

"Nobody asked me," she replies, looking down, and for the first time her voice is quiet, almost a whisper.

"What do you mean, nobody asked you?" he inquiries. He's already got the right answer, he only wants her to confirm it. But she doesn't say anything.

"Alice?" he insists. "What happened to you when you were fourteen?"

"I've already said too much," she says abruptly, regretting what she's said. "Tell me instead, what do I need to do to feel better?"

"Well, total rest for two weeks, actually, you'll have to stay here for at least one. Eat well, sleep well, and no intimate contact in two months."

"Two months?" she repeats. She's happy, this means Aro won't be able to touch her. But we share a sadness, because _I_ won't be able to touch her, either. And that's not nice.

"Yes, two months. After that your body will go back to normal. But though estrictly speaking you'll be able to conceive I strongly recommend that you don't. It would be too unsafe, given your background. Give it a year, at least."

"That's fine with me. But you'll have to tell my husband."

"Speak of the devil..." I can't help saying. In the distance I can hear Alice's son, Sebastian, and feel his discomfort at being in his father's arms. I quickly take my arm off Alice's waist, where it had been the last minutes, and stand up, away from the bed. She takes some paper and a pen that were lying on the table next to her, and writes something quickly. She shows the sheet to the doctor, and it says in big letters _DON'T LET HIM TOUCH U. DANGEROUS. I'LL EXPLAIN LATER. PLEASE._ When he nods she tears the paper and throws it away. In that very second Aro comes into the room.

"Hello, my love," he says. "I see you are better now. Great. It was a good idea to bring our friend Jasper, then."

"Yes," she answers while she holds her arms out for her son. "He's been the nicest company."

Aro hands her the boy, and it's really beautiful to feel the enormous love that floats between mother and child. With Sebastian in her arms she feels whole, complete, and when he sees himself in his mom's arms all his fears disappear, he knows he's safe

"Mommy missed you so much, darling," she says softly. She holds him tight and runs her hand through his curls, the intensity of her love is such you'd think she hasn't seen him in months, not hours.

The doctor is moved by this scene, too, but he finds it a little weird becuse he knows the reality. Truth be told, yes, you wouldn't think she'd feel this devotion for a child who's the product of such a relationship.

"What did you do today, baby?" she asks him. Sebastian smiles at her, but doesn't say a word. "Who was with you? Daddy? Gianna?" but the boy is still silent.

"He's been with Jane," explains Aro. "She and Alec returned with me, and she just couldn't wait to see our son."

"Right. Did you have fun, sweetie?" Sebastian nods, and that's it. It just breaks my heart, to see this poor baby, who is so small and has suffered so much. He's traumatized, he lives under a constant cloud of stress, of fear. No wonder he's mute.

"Doctor," says Alice. "Um, well, my son has a kind of language... problem. You see, he's three, but has never talked. Is there anything we could do?" I feel how the doctor's anger, that had been buried for the last minutes, comes out again, he understands the situation and it makes him furious.

"It might be something from birth, but it could also be the result of a trauma, something he saw, lived. Strong shocks can often provoke language disability."

"I don't think it's that," intervenes Aro. "My son has had a happy babyhood."

"I suppose. I'll give you the adress of a friend of mine, she's specialized in this kind of stuff. I'm sure she'll be able to help you. Now, if you excuse me, I must check on another patient."

"Sure," says Aro. "We'll take care of her."

But nobody feels comfortable, this triangle is way too strong to be together.

"Go relax," says Alice. "Both of you. You've had a tiring day. You need to rest."

"But what about you?" I ask.

"Oh, the frog and I are enough to set this place on fire, aren't we, darling?" she turns to her son, who nods.

"In that case... I'll see you later," declares Aro.

"Bye," I whisper.

As we leave the building Aro talks to me,

"How did you see her? Is she still... strange?"

"She's much better now. She's an amazing woman, Aro, strong and brave." While I talk I make a huge effort not to yell at him, accuse him, kill him.

"Indeed. She is marvellous."

"I think there's more emotional damage than physical. Are you sure it was an accident?"

"What do you mean? Did she say anything?" his tone is careful now, it's obvious he's hiding something.

"No, of course not. But I felt a different kind of sadness, a strange despair, deeper. Felt like something that has to do with more than this. But don't listen to me, she's an extraordinary creature, I wouldn't doubt her mourning is different and unique."

"I guess," replies Aro. We walk together and each step is a stab of hatred that awakes my desire to kill him. But now it's not a good moment, plus I haven't quite decided which sadistic method is the best. I'll wait.

"And what are you going to do now?" he asks.

"Well, I think my family is back from their hunting trip, if you don't mind I'll thell them Alice is here, it might be good for her to talk to Esme and Carlisle."

"I think it is an excellent idea. Yes, it is the best for her. Listen, I must go back to the castle, but I do not want to leave her unprotected. Would you mind checking on her once more tonight?"

"It will be a pleasure. I'll let you know if she needs something."

"Please. Oh, and one last favor: could you keep me informed of what she says, or who she talks to or sees? Not that I want to spy on her, but she has always been strong, so this is most surprising for me. I just want to make sure nothing is disturbing her, or worrying her. She is too sweet to tell me, but I need to know."

_Translation: spy on her._ "Sure, Aro, I'll tell you everything."

Finally, he goes away. My family, as it turns out, isn't back yet, but I leave a note explaining where we are and why. Then I return to the hospital. The doctor, now that he has understood, gives me free access to her. Poor man, he's young, and nice, and I don't want him to have problems because of us. He knows too much. But I'll protect him.

I open the door of Alice's room and find the sweetest, most beautiful scene ever: Sebastian is asleep, his thumb in his mouth, in his mother's arms. Alice is asleep, too, and she looks like the young, pretty girl she is, no traces of suffering now that her sad eyes are closed. I'd never seen her sleep before, and I must admit it's a moving vision. With both of them so quiet and still the resemblance between them is evident, same soft features, same rose-like lips, same innocent air. The child's head rests on her chest, and from her hands I can see she fell asleep stroking his hair. I walk silently towards them and lean forward to kiss the top of her head, trying not to wake her. Neverthless, her eyes open.

"You're back," she says in a sleepy, angelical voice.

"Couldn't stand not seeing you. I'll come back tomorrow morning, ok?" She nods. I kiss her forehead and then move to Sebastian. "May I?" I ask.

"Of course," she smiles. I press my lips to the boy's cheek.

"See you tomorrow," I say.

"Bye," she kisses my lips. "I love you."

And with another kiss I leave.


	13. The Call Of Blood

**Hellooooo !!!! So, here's the essay. But, just like my James once said, "before we begin...", a few little facts about it:**

**-I began writing it in November and finished it on March 10th. I handed it in on 18th and got my A+ on April 13th.**

**-A couple of weeks after I started I thought about asking people how they felt about Twilight. I asked you guys, and people at school, and even at the cinema, when I went to see New Moon (don't do that, please. They only look at you like the crazy person you are and never answer anything. Internet is safer).**

**-The original is in Spanish. I wrote the version in English almost at the same time and gave it to my English teacher a month ago to have it checked before posting it. The charming man hasn't given it back, so I can't promise you grammar perfection. I suck at grammar in my three languages (Spanish, English, and German). Sorry.**

**-One month before the deadline I went crazy, almost to the point of tears. No matter how hard I tried I just wasn't able to say what I wanted. During three years I've had a good reputation as writer at school, and when my teacher told me she expected mine to be one of the best essays she guaranteed me a full-scale panic attack.**

**-My mother didn't bother to read it, but she said that it was a waste of talent.**

**-There's a wonderful answer about Alice and Jasper. Unfortunately, I misplaced the name and country of the genius who wrote that (I know, stupid me), so if any of you recognizes his or her words there, PLEASE let me know so I can give you the credit. It's really a great opinion, and I'd love to know who created it.**

**Ok, ok, no more boring stuff. Just let me know what you think of it. Enjoy !**

**The Call Of Blood**

Do you like apples? They are very popular: some people prefer them red, some yellow, some green. Red Delicious, Gala, Golden, in a pie, with chili, or caramel, each of us has a favourite.

The same happens with books. There's one for each taste: romantic novels, science fiction, detective stories, poetry... the variety is endless. And just the same way we share apples with our friends today I want to share with you one of my favourite books: _Twilight_.

You must surely be intrigued by my choice of a topic for this essay. You no doubt think that there's deeper and more trascendental stuff to talk about. But I do not mean to change the world with my words, not at all, I just wish to express myself freely. Well, and I might also intend to open the minds of those who every day tell me that _Twilight_ is not a good book.

For, in fact, what is a "good book"? The one who gets a Nobel? Perhaps. But, honestly, does the average reader's life get any better because a book wins an award, or two, or a thousand? No, it doesn't. A good book, a really Good Book, is the one that leaves its mark in your heart. The Good Book makes you laugh, cry, feel; makes you live along with it. The one that taught you something, that allowed you to identify your-self with its characters, that made the sad hours become happy, and the happy hours become glorious, that one, _that one_ is a Good Book. And I've found one.

Why?, you might ask. I must admit that despite the infinite amount of times in which I've faced this question I still haven't found words that are broad and explicit enough to communicate my answer. Until now. For, finally, I have realized that said answer takes more than a page, and that's why I now make use of this space to express my opinion. So, if you haven't grown tired of all this and you choose to keep reading, give my rea-sons a chance.

***

We are all Rosalie

If you don't know her, Rosalie is one of the sisters of the Cullen family, that stunning blonde so beautiful that it "hurts to watch". If you _do_ know her she is... Rosalie. What else can I tell you?

Stephenie Meyer places her in the first decades of last century, part of the New Yorker high society. Since always, her beauty distinguished her from the others, she was the exact image of perfection: long, golden hair, eyes of the purest blue, graceful walk and sensual figure. Like any other eighteen-year-old girl, she dreamed of luxuries and pretty dresses, she wanted to be the centre of attention wherever she went. But she also wanted something more meaningful: a family. She pictured herself with a man who loved her sincerely, surrounded by children that inherited her beauty. In her own words, "I wanted to be loved, to be adored (...) and there didn't seem to be any reason why I wouldn't get what I wanted..."1

No, there didn't seem to be any reason, except the feature that became a curse: her beauty. That same good looks that now gave her, not only admiration, but a coming marriage where every single of her wishes would be satisfied, made her victim of a brutal attack from her "perfect" fiancé and four of his friends, all drunk. They left her in the street, almost dead, and she could only be saved by being turned into a vampire.

When you read this chapter, you redescover the character. And when you read it once more, having got over the original shock, you see that who you thought was a shallow, vain girl, someone who has everything anyone could ever wish is in fact a fragile and frustrated creature, with amazing sensitiveness and tenderness. Finally, finally, you realize that that superwoman, that unbelieveable beauty, that perfect semigodess... is you. For, ¿which child hasn't played to be a mom? ¿Which girl doesn't dream of her prince? ¿Which woman doesn't get married full of illusions, of hopes? ¿Who doesn't want to see all her dreams satisfied? ¿Which of us doesn't ima-gine herself with that someone who loves her, values her, respects her, which of us doesn't yearn for the chance to cradle in her arms her own baby? Therefore, you are Rosalie and I am Rosalie. Rosalie is all of us. We are all Rosalie.

**Moral emptiness?**

Short after the release of the second movie the Vatican declared itself against it. "This is nothing but a moral emptiness with a twisted message we should all be worried about. Men and women are transformed with horrible masks" were the words of Franco Perazzolo, Pontiff Counsellor of Culture. Surely, His Eminence decided that having seen one of the movies made him a total expert, not knowing that to talk about _Twilight_ with absolute knowdlege and authority you need much, much more.

When reading the saga calmly and carefully it's impossible not to notice the immense love that exists in the star family, and I don't mean only the couple love, no, this goes much further. Everytime that a problem appears in the story, this is solved thanks to the mutual support, the unconditional love of the Cullen family. One of the most important figures is undoubtedly the mom, Esme, whose care and tenderness are proyected in such a way that she has become an image in which most of the fans have seeked a kind of support and comfort, as if in her we could find a true mother in the flesh. I have seen it, crying out "Mommy Esme!" in a desperate situation, or look in the pages for any phrase that makes us feel better. And it works.

So, with such a high concentration of love, comprehension, solidarity, honesty, friendship, is there really, really, a moral "emptiness"? What's the twisted message in a family where they all adore each other and help each other out in good and bad times? Horrible masks? Personally I think that what made Father Perazzolo hit the roof were the scenes filmed in Italy, where, if you look carefully, you can find a certain resem-blance between the red cloaks of the Mediterranean people that celebrate St. Marcus's Day and the cardinal gowns. Moreover, there are similarities between the home of the villains, heads of the world of the _cold ones_, and the Sistine Chapel. And who do we see leading the immortal vampire royalty? A deceitful being, hypocritical, cruel, and selfish, the only one –perhaps- of the horrible masks. And if the people mean cardi-nals, and the cold hall the Chapel... then who is the false leader? Seen like this, it's easy to understand His Eminence's anger.

Happy commercialism

Why when someone's work is succesful in the commercial world it is automatically considered as low-quality? Why is it believed that a "good" product is exclusively for the few genius people that can "appreciate" it, and no one tries to find the qualities that led the best-seller to be what it is? Publicist Carlos Alazraki said "this is so planned to be a hit... It's carefully schemed"2. Why the tone of disdain in his voice, why did he say it as if it were wrong? Shouldn't it make us happy that something brings as many benefits as possible: in entertainment, learning, economy, etc.? Is it really that a monetary success is guarantee of a bad product... or is it only an envious shield for those who didn't know how to make their creations a number one?

Therefore, I'm very glad that there's still people who worries about pleasing the others, even if it is with lucrative purposes. I prefer a thousand times to be able to sit down and read or see something so full of beauty, sweetness and esthetic than to suffer with the hundreth _Jaws _movie, or Freddy Krueger's thousandth one, or the umpteenth _Saw_. _Twilight_ offers many different types of perfection, physical and moral, so you can pick the one you like best and be very happy. For, who doesn't want ot be happy? Happiness is –or should be- the fundamental objective of the human being, and if it can be achieved by reading a tender, unoffensive book, great. And if there are four books, so much the better.

But I don't want you to interpret our liking –that of all the fans around the world- as the typical "oh, I like it because the guy is handsome". Agreed, physical beauty is a very, very important aspect in life, and yes, there is not only one, but more than five handsome guys –did I say handsome? I meant _gorgeous_-, and ok, it does have something to do here, but in truth this is something much deeper.

So you can get an idea I did ann exercise: a survey to some Twilight fans, with the objective of finding the true reason behind the madness. This survey contained questions such as "When / how did you start reading Twilight?", "What do you like the most / least and why?", etc. At school, at the cinema, on the Internet, I contacted as many people as possible. The answer came from all around the world, from Mexico to England, from the United States to Australia, to whom I thank how they helped me. Needless is to say, I got the most interesting results:

Winx flora-helia fan, who is 18 and lives in Surinam, says: "I like their strenght and speed, and the love the family cherises for each other." "I like that it shows true love does exist" was the answer of bubbleblub11, a thirteen-year-old originary of the United States, while from the United Kingdom comes yet another opinion, this time about one of the secondary couples –though it is essencial to admit, during these last months they have become stronger than the main characters themselves-: "I like the way Alice and Jasper react together, it's like they are one soul; through looking they communicate a more powerful love than Bella and Edward's –I kind of think Bella's love turned into an obsession after."

Therefore, the feeling all this has created in so many of us is far from being shallow or reasonless. And added to all these testimonies I'll say for the first time what I, personally, love about _Twilight_: I love not feeling alone anymore, I love knowing there's a place where I belong, I love that there's something capable of bringing out the best of me, things I didn't even know I had, I love that since all this began I write much better, I dress much better, that I've motivated myself to experiment, to play with new stuff, to accept more things. I know I speak in the name of all the Twilighters when I say that they can all come, Perazzolo, Alazraki, and the Incarnate Word itself to argue all they want, for the hapinness we've found is well worth every cent.

***

_Twilight_ was born as a dream. Almost seven years ago, on the night of June the 30th, 2003, Stephenie Meyer dreamed of a beautiful meadow, where a boy and a girl were reunited. He was a vampire, she was human. He was explaining her the conflict he faced, because even if his nature impulsed him to kill her, the truth was that he loved her crazily, more than anything in the world. This scene became chapter 13 of _Twilight, Confessions_. Two years and about fifteen letters to different editorials later, _Twilight_ was published by Little, Brown, and Company. Short after that, the fever began, or, said in Twilighter, we were bitten. It's 2010 now, and I can assure you that, for the happiness of milions of people around the world, the dream continues.

**Yes, people, there's more. Just to let you know that next Friday I'm turning 15 years old (yay!), so my mother is taking me to NY (double yay!). I'll be there for about a week, it might take a while before I post the next chapter. I'd aprecciate your comprehension.**

1 Stephenie Meyer, _Eclipse,_ New York, Little, Brown, and Company, 2007, p. 155, paragraph 3, lines 12-14.

2 Carlos Alazraki is a Mexican publicist and journalist, owner of the publicity agency Alazraki & Asociados.


	14. Unfair

**Hi theeereee !!! I'm baaaack !!! Thought the Times Square bomb would blow up this crazy, bipolar vampire? ****Wrong****. I'm here, stronger than ever, though with a horrible headache thanks to this fu... turist heat. My brain cells will get fried. But before that happens, let me know what you think of this chapter. See ya !! XOXO**

**Unfair**

"And he asked you to spy on me?" I asked. "Really?"

"Oh yes. He did. He said that he needed to know if something was disturbing you. He wants to know what you say, who you talk to, who you see."

"What will you tell him when he asks?"

"Hm, let's see. I'll tell him: 'Aro, guess what? Your wife has been seeing a man. Indeed. He stays with her longer than hospital rules allow, and they talk for hours on end about lots of things. They always end up making out, though. And when he has to leave the last words he hears from her are _I love you. _Ooh, and before I forget, that man is gorgeous me.' Yes, that's exactly what I'll tell him."

"You do that," I laugh, and pull him to me to kiss him.

I just can't believe Aro's foolishness. I keep thinking that he's found out about Jasper and me and is leading us to a trap. He can't be this blind, he just can't. Though I despise him I must admit he's one of the cleverest men I've ever met, cunning, perceptive, intelligent. He can't be deceived this easily. If he is, then he's dissapointing me as the strong man and jealous husband I thought he was.

"But what if he touches you? He'll know immediately."

"Actually, he won't. Living with someone who is perpetually listening to my mind has taught me a few things. Now he's not _perpetually_ listening, and when he is, he can't be sure if what he hears is true."

"Meaning?"

"Did you know you can lie with your thoughts?" I shake my head no. "Well, you can. You think of something, and if you concentrate enough it becomes just as true as a memory. For example, I imagine us talking about books, and concentrate on that. When Aro touches me and sees my mind, he finds that, and not this," he kisses me enthusiastically, "because that's what my mind is programmed to show."

"Wow," I say.

"I know. My entire family has used it for decades, thanks to Edward. Therefore, Aro will never find out what really happened when they came to visit you."

Ah, yeah. That. I've been a week here, and a couple of days ago the rest of the Cullens came to see me.

"Oh, darling!" had exclaimed Esme. "Jazz told us _everything_ that happened. So terrible!" Aro had been there at the moment, so she could only say that, but when he left her eyes filled with fury. "That monster!" she hissed.

"I'd gladly kill him with my bare hands. I owe him," was what Carlisle said.

But it was great to see them. The family has grown, I think, because Edward brought with him a nice, pretty girl, human like me, who he introduced as Bella. I think we'll get on quite well.

"The two eternal bachelors, now paired up with what should be their food." Emmett had said. But in fact that's the truth.

Jasper unwraps the umpteenth chocolate from one of the many boxes he's given me and puts it in my mouth.

"Don't worry, sweetie. I will always protect you, no matter what happens. You and your child are the most important thing to me."

"You're too good. I don't deserve you."

"I could say exactly the same. You're too good for me."

We kiss again, until he pulls away and turns to the door. Sure enough, ten seconds later the doctor comes in. Though he already knows all about us we don't want to put him in more danger. He looks at us and smiles.

"Well, Alice, I've just got the results of your last analysis. Seems like you're totally recovered."

"Does that mean I can leave?"

"Not yet. We'd like to have you under observation a few more days, just in case there's a complication. Oh, c'mon, don't make that face. It's for your own good."

"Listen to him," says Jasper, stroking my hair. "Sebastian can't play with a convalescent mother, can he?"

I stick my tongue out at both.

"Seems like I better leave," says Jasper. "I've got to make up for some lost hun... work." He kisses me and leaves.

"That's a great guy you've found," tells me the doctor. "Anyway, I'm afraid I must leave you, too, I must deliver some documents."

"Go ahead. Thanks for everything."

While I'm alone I pace around the room, thinking about how very bizarre this love triangle is, and how absurd it is that Aro doesn't have the slightest idea. I'm going through some plans to keep him in that happy place of oblivion when I hear a knock.

"Come in."

"Hello, Alice." It's Marcus, in whose face a strange expression of shyness and doubt is painted.

"Marcus, hi. Hadn't seen you in a while."

"I know. Sorry I did not come before," he apologizes. "But with Aro here most of the time it is me who has to take care of everything back at the castle."

"It's ok. Don't worry."

"Why did you not tell me?" he asks softly. "If I had known you were expecting a baby I... I would not have been so... so cruel, so incomprehensive. I called you whimsical, I called you fat. It was so unfair! Had you told me..."

"I... I wanted Aro to be the first one to know about it. I thought everything would be fine. I'm sorry."

"Ah, Alice," he sighs, and takes my hand. "Though you might not see it, I really like you. You are pleasant, and funny, and quiet, and so pretty. If I had a daughter, I would love her to be like you. I swear it has never been my intention to make you suffer, ever. If I could improve your life, believe me, I would. But my brother's crazy love of you is a force I cannot fight."

"I know, Marcus, and I appreciate it. Thank you."

"I better leave now. I hear your husband coming. I will try to visit you again. And to make your child's life and yours better."

"Ok. Thanks. See you."

He kisses my hand and leaves. A minute later Aro comes in.

"We have to talk," he barks. His expression is that of cold fury, the most dangerous one, where he's just too angry to show it, and where his restrained wrath might explode at any moment with no limits at all.

"Aro, w-what's the matter, what-"

"Before I do something I might later regret I want you to tell me the truth. Have you been taking contraceptives?"

Shit. How on Earth did he find out?

"I... I..."

"Tell me the truth, because I will find it anyway."

Can I deny it? I don't know how much he knows, I don't know how safe I am. Whatever my answer is will infuriate him, the only thing I need to know is how I can make him _less_ furious.

"I'm asking you!" he shouts, shaking me by the shoulders. "Have you?"

I nod.

I already expected the blow, so when it comes and burns half of my face it's no big surprise. His eyes are on fire, but the murderous rage is so intense he can't move, he can't talk.

"You... you... argh! How dare you !? You had no right !!"

For the first time I'm not scared of him, and I fire back "I had all the right in the world! It's my body! It's my life!"

"You are with me. Therefore nothing is yours, not even yourself. Every inch of you belongs to me, your life, your soul, your blood, your body, your son. Everything, everything belongs to me. Every single child you can have is mine, and I want you to have them all."

"Well, I don't want to. You hurt me once, and I gave you a son. The most beautiful boy in the world, yes, but the memory of the worst day of my life. Do you really think I want to keep giving birth to monsters like you?"

He hits me again. "Do you not understand, you poor, little, stupid, defenceless human girl? You have no choice in this. From the very first second I set eyes on you your life stopped being yours. Your fate was sealed. I took you that time, and you gave me a child. I have made you mine every single time I have desired you. You are nothing but a puppet whose strings are in my hands."

He slaps me yet once more and then grabs me by the hair. He kisses me fully on the mouth. This is our first kiss, and it's even worse than I imagined. My whole being is revolted, disgusted, horrified. I try to shake him off, but of course I can't. He kisses me for as long as he wants and I just have to bear it, or try to, at least. He then pushes me away and pecks my lips softly.

"I love you," he whispers


	15. Hurt

Guess what, my dear readers? I'm leaving again –sigh-. This time I'm going to Veracruz, one of Mexico's states. School camp. I'm leaving on Monday at 6:30 am and I'll be back on Saturday at 8:00 pm, which means, it will be at least two weeks till we hear of each other again. I just wanted you to know so no one thinks I've finally returned to my planet. And those of you who have threatened to go into coma... well guys, life's tough. See ya !

**Hurt**

"Would you really mind being a widow, hon?"

"Jasper," I sighed after spitting another round of the water-mouthwash-and-a-tiny-little-bit-of-bleach I'd been using to clean my mouth after Aro. "Please, understand, that would not help at all. If you touched him the rest would kill you and your family, and then... what about me? About my son?"

"I just... I just can't stand seeing how he destroys you. He's killing you. One of these days he'll beat you so hard you won't make it, and then-"

"Then I'll rest. And I'll be happy."

Jasper growled in frustration, running a hand through his hair. I bore the marks of the fight with Aro and Jazz had almost gone mad.

"But-"

"Nothing. Listen, I'm not suggesting we don't do anything; when the time comes I myself will kill him for all the pain he's inflicted in our child. But it's not time yet. We have to plan, plan carefully. If we destroy him we'll have to destroy everyone: Jane, Alec, Renata, Felix, Demetri, and so on. It won't be easy."

He looked at me and sighed. "You're right. We have to wait, and then we'll fight to kill. You say Marcus might move to the Dark Side?"

"At least he won't block our way. He's promised to help me, and I'm sure he will."

"Ok. Let's wait and hope."

Ricardo, now more a friend than a doctor, came in.

"I brought this ointment, it will help you desinflame those," he said, gesturing at my face.

We sat on the bed and he began rubbing the medicine. It felt nice. "I just can't believe he dared hit you here, in the hospital," he added.

"He's too sure of himself. He thinks that, should an argument start, he'd be able to control everyone and get his will done," _And he's dead right,_ I thought to myself.

"I'm not sure he thinks at all. Anyway, I've got something to tell you. You have permission to leave the hospital. Just check in every week or so for antoher month."

"Great," I said, but what two days ago would have been wonderful news is now terrifying. With Aro angry the last thing I want is to go back home. He's furious as I'd never seen him before, and in his rage he could do _anything_. Except perhaps killing me, which only makes it all worse.

I looked at Jasper, who felt my fear and knew its reasons. He held my hand and kissed my head.

"Ricardo," I started, "have you told him that I can't get pregnant in a year?"

"Yes."

"Sure? You really insisted on it? Made it very, very clear?"

"Yes. Why do you ask? What worries you?"

"Somehow he found out that I'd been taking contraceptives. He's, well... that's why he hit me."

"That's why? Christ, that man is mental. One of the other doctors was talking to him, and he said something like, 'it would be better if she stopped taking contraceptives, at least for a month, she'll heal faster.' I did think your husband looked kind of strange, but I never imagined this. I mean, he has no right to tell you what to do with your own body, does he?"

Aro's words echoed in my head. _Nothing is yours, not even yourself... Every inch of you belongs to me... From the very first second I set eyes on you your life stopped being yours... You are nothing but a puppet whose strings are in my hands..._

I shook my head, trying to erase those thoughts

"He... well, tell him again, just in case." I couldn't help insisting. Just to think of going back there...ugh. Then Jasper put his finger to his lips, and as if he could sense my fear and wanted to enjoy it, in less than a minute my husband walked through the door. No knocking, no 'may I come in?', no nothing, only Aro. Which for him is enough.

"I wanted to see my wife. I had not seen her in 24 hours, can you believe it?" his smile was disgustingly false, in his eyes I saw he's still angry with me. "If what I have heard is true, I will be taking her with me tomorrow, right?"

"Yes," answered Ricardo.

"Great. I have already made all the arrangements so Sebastian does not interfere with your recovery."

"What do you mean?" I asked with a stab of fear.

"He and Jane have left. Some of the guard too. He will be safe, he will be in a place where he cannot disturb you. You must not worry."

He's taken my baby away. Damn him. Damn him a thousand times. May he rot in hell where he belongs. When he looked away I wiped a traitor tear.

Ricardo, to whom we had given clear instructions, dissapeared as soon as possible so Aro couldn't touch him. My husband looked at all the stuff I've been washing my mouth with and smiled, a humourless gesture.

"Jasper, would you be so kind as to leave us alone, please?"

Jazz looked at me and a wave of comfort and calm washed over me. I nodded at him and he left.

When the door closed Aro turned again to the cleaning stuff.

"That... that is nothing, girl. I can always kiss you again." And he did take me by the chin and kissed me again. I so badly wanted to push him away, to shout at him, but, what could I win with that?

"I cannot understand you," he said. "You have always said I do not love you, and there is no way to change your mind. Yet when I kiss you, and though the kiss is considered an undeniable proof of love, you seem so distant..."

He wanted me to kiss him back. God, I could have thron up with the mere idea of it. It was just... repulsive. But then my old plan returned to my mind, the one where if I made Aro believe I liked him he'd give me more freedom. A kiss in exchange of my son. Just one little kiss and I'd see him again. Was I really that disgusted?

I looked at him and try to imagine, childishly perhaps, that it was Jasper who I was about to kiss. Aro saw my new attitude and came closer. Swallowing my horror, I leaned forward and kissed him. Of course it wasn't the way I kiss Jasper, this was merely a few lip movements, but Aro suddenly placed his hands around my waist and shoulders and pulled me closer. The contact lasted endless torturing seconds and then he pushed me away.

"Very well done, Alice," he said. "Very well indeed. You really want to see you child, don't you?"

"Can I?" I asked. "Please?"

He looked at me.

"Of course not."

And so I was back in the castle. Locked up in the castle, actually. Though it wasn't the first time I just couldn't get used to be separated from Sebastian. Now it was different, I didn't know where he was, and so new, unexpected, horrible ideas kept coming back to me, _Is he safe? Is he cold? Is he hungry? Do they know which food he likes? He's afraid of the dark, do they know that? Do they know how to play with him? Do they know about the exercises needed to make him talk?_ I knew it was foolish, Jane was with him and she knows him inside out, but still... I paced around his room and when I saw the empty little bed I couldn't help letting out a scream of fury.

Because of my reclusion here I hadn't seen Jasper, and the absence of my two loves was more than I could bear. I went to my bedroom, not being able to stand being in Sebastian's, and wasn't long until I heard footseps outside and Aro came in.

He closed the door behind us and walked toward me. He put his hands on my waist and while he pressed my body to his he started to kiss my neck. I already expected him to ignore the 'no intimate contact in two months' rule, and that's what I prepared myself for, but then he moved to my ear and whispered,

"We never quited fixed the contraceptives thing, did we, my dear?"

His eyes were now locked on mine and he smiled his diabolical smile. Then he slapped me.

It was pretty much the usual, he shouted at me, saying what a failure I was, what a disappointment of a wife. He used his beloved belt, the one that has particularly sharp edges; he knows that by hitting me directly he'd take the risk of using too much strenght and therefore killing me, so he prefers to canalize his wrath through the belt. He said he won't rest until I've given him more children, and thet I'll regret having tried to prevent that.

I couldn't help it –I shouted at him. "How can you punish me for trying not to have another child if it was you who killed her?" I said.

"Her?" he asked blankly, forgetting for a moment his punishment.

"Yes," I said, running a hand over my stomach. "I had some tests done. It was a girl. How dare you blame me for not wanting children if when they come you kill them?"

"Shut up!" he roared, hitting me again.

"It's true! You killed her, Aro! You killed your own daughter!"

"Shut up shut up shut up !" he screamed between blows. He was beating me because he was furious with himself, he knew I was right. He was tormented, and so he tormented me, as if he could drown the sound of truth with the sound of his belt against my skin.

"Go to hell," he finally said.

"I'll be waiting for you," I fired back.

He slammed the door when he left.

I spent hours on the bed. Night came and the light of the full moon filled the room. I watched it in fascination, and so I only noticed something else when that something brushed my back and put his arms around my neck.

"Sebastian!" I exclaimeed, holding him as tightly as I can. He hugged me back and we just cried silently for a while. Then I started checking him, making sure he's safe. "Did they feed you? Did they treat you well? Did you miss me, sweetie?" to all of this he nodded. "Darling, darling," I said while I kissed his curly hair, "Mama missed you so badly... You're here, finally, with me, finally, finally."

I sat him on my lap and started singing his favourite lullaby. After a few minutes he fell asleep. I craddled him softly and then his father appeared at the door.

"One would think you had not seen him in months."

"I... I was worried," I mumbled.

"Whatever. You have seen each other again, now take him to his bedroom."

"But-"

"Nothing. You take him there and return to me."

"But-"

"My brother, are you sure it's worth it?" I looked for the voice. It was Marcus, right beside Aro. "I mean, she will be crying and complaining all night because of the kid. Why don't you let him stay with her tonight? She can make up for it tomorrow, and right now we can discuss the nomads problem and try to find a solution."

Aro looked at all three of us, doubtful. But he finally agreed and went down with Marcus, to whom I dedicated a smile of gratitude. He winked.

Though I _did_ have to make up for the lost night I also got the permission to go out with my son. Felix and Demetri watch us while we throw coins to the fountain, and my whole body aches from Aro's beating and the intimacy I had to have with him, but nothing matters because my baby is back with me. That's all I care about. I'll find a way to see Jasper soon.

Sebastian runs after the pigeons and when I turn around so I don't lose sight of him I see a couple walking around the piazza. My heart accelerates and I try to pretend I didn't see them, but they saw me, too. And before I can disappear they call my name.

"Alice? Is that you?" says the man.

Our eyes meet for a second, but I quickly look away. I turn to the woman instead and somehow I manage to get enough courage to speak.

Part whispering, part mumbling, part sighing, I say it. "Mom."


	16. Jewels

**Hellooo! I'm baaaack ! I was devoured by a thousand mosquitoes, fried under the Veracruzan sun, and almost forced into a marriage with a bat, but I survived. Nah, it was great. One night we visited a forest that was the warm version of Forks. Guess who took thousands of photos in Victoria-like positions. Ho ! Anyway, here's the chapter. Enjoy, and please, _please_, R-E-V-I-E-W. Won't post anything unless I have at least six reviews.**

**Jewels**

"Mom."

"Alice. My child."

She hugs me, but I don't hug her back.

"We hadn't heard of you since you got married."

_Since you sold me, you mean,_ I think. Or do they really believe I don't know about how much Aro gave them as 'compensation'?

"Yeah, it's been a while," I say instead.

"So... how are you? What's up?" my father's voice sounds so strange, so unknown, as if this was the first time we talk.

"I'm- I'm fine." With my eyes hidden by the sunglasses they can't see either the bruises or the lies. "What about you?"

"Nothing new. We miss you, though."

"Really? Interesting."

"Alice, please. We do. You're our daughter, after all."

"Nice of you to remember. Why didn't you look for me? You don't even know where I live, do you?"

No, of course they don't. The only thing they know is that their rebel daughter was heading right into being a single mother when a nice man came, took the responsibility, gave them a lot of money, and saved the girl's dignity and her bastard child's. How moving.

This is every bit as uncomfortable for them as it is for me, yet none of us has the strenght to stop it. I don't know what they want, but what _I _want is to shout at them, reproach them their abandoning me, asking them why they left me, why they didn't believe me when I told them what had happened to me, how badly hurt I'd been. I want to know how they believed I gave myself to a man who even as a human was old enough to be my father, and why on Earth they thought I'd tell such a lie, tell them I'd been raped just because I felt like it. They have a lot to answer for.

But before I can ask all my questions I see Sebastian running toward us. I want to stop him, I want Felix or Demetri to take him away, because for some reason I hate the idea of my parents meeting him, but they don't do anything. Sebastian reaches us, smiling. I kneel to his height and he gives me the bouquet of wildflowers he has in his hand, along with a kiss. I take him in my arms and lift him.

"Is he... yours?" stammers my father.

"Oh right, you've never met, have you? Honey, this is Grandpa. Dad, this is the bastard." I can't help the sarcasm, the bitterness. My father does seem stung by it and by all those old memories. My mother, on the other side, looks like she's about to cry.

"What's his name?" asks she.

"Sebastian. Aro picked the name."

"Who?"

"My husband."

This is too much. They don't even know who bought me. Amazing.

After a pause she holds out her arms and adds, "May I?"

It's not in my power to decide. I turn to Felix and Demetri, who watch us from the other side of the fountain and are no doubt memorizing every word we say to repeat it to Aro. Demetri nods.

"Who are they?" asks my father, looking at the vampires.

"They... they work for my husband. Guards."

"Ah. Nice of him, to give you such protection."

I don't bother to answer. Instead, after getting Demetri's approval, I hand Sebastian to my mother.

"He's so handsome," she says. "He certainly looks a lot like you. Your eyes, your expression... And do you... do you have more children? "

"Almost. Another baby was due in eighteen weeks but... things went wrong."

"I see."

_No, you don't. You will never see anything at all._ But they both seem fascinated with my child, and I can't help feeling the wave of motherly pride. They admire him for a few moments and then my mother puts him on the ground. He runs after the pigeons and flowers again.

"He's truly gorgeous. Like you, darling. You were so pretty when you were his age. You're both so alike..."

"His father is handsome, too," I say. Here, something that will make Aro happy, and that, on top of everything, is true. He is handsome. If only he hadn't hurt me so much...

"Where are you living now?" inquires my father.

"See that?" I point at a distant turret. "There."

"Wow," whistles my father. "That man _is_ rich, isn't he? Seems like you've been lucky, Alice. Quite lucky."

This time I'm so going to answer him. But just as I open my mouth Sebastian comes again, this time face and hands covered in mud. Leave it to my son to attract all the dirt in the world.

"Come here, young man," I start, bending down again. Knowing his wild instincts I always carry some wipes in my bag, and I start cleaning him up. But suddenly I hear a gasp.

"Oh my God. What's _that_?"

It's my mother's voice. I look around for the source of her alarm and it takes me a while to realize it's myself. For when I started cleaning Sebastian I rolled my sleeves up and took off my sunglasses, thus revealing my fresh bruises and belt cuts. My parents' faces have turned into masks of horror. As soon as I see what I've done I cover myself up again. I rise to my full height, my child in my arms.

"What's that?" they insist.

"This... this is nothing," I stammer. "Really, believe me, it's nothing." It's nothing, I mean it. I've had much, much worse.

"Don't lie to us, Alice," says my father, with the voice I used to obey immediately. Yet now, after all the threatens and insults I've heard, it only inspires me pity. "Did he beat you?"

"Please," continues my mother, seeing my silence. "Did he do that? Did he hurt you?"

"Enough." This is Felix's voice. He and Demetri are right behind me now. "Alice, give me the child. Let's go. Now."

I give Sebastian to him for my son's own protection, but turn to my parents again.

"Three years ago," I tell them, "I would have given anything to hear what you've just said, to see the faces I see in this moment. But now... you don't mean anything to me anymore. You once abandoned me, now I abandon you. Forget you have a daughter, like you've been doing all this time. Goodbye. Guys, let's go."

And now it's me who turns my back on them

As soon as we get back I make sure Sebastian goes with Jane and run to my bedroom. I go over what just happened this morning and, against my will, tears start flowing to my eyes. I cry and cry, just like when I was a child and my mother used to come to soothe me. The memory only makes me cry harder, painful sobs that cut my chest like a knife. And then someone knocks.

"Alice? Are you there? It's me, Marcus. I come in peace."

I can't stand up, I'm too wrapped in my tears and memories, so he opens the door and sees me there, lying on the bed. He sits beside me and runs his fingers softly through my hair.

"Poor child. Poor little child," he whispers.

I rest my head on his shoulder and keep crying. His caresses, though, are soothing, and soon my sea of tears turns into quiet, dry sobs.

"That's better. Poor thing. Felix told us what happened. Bet that hurt." I nod. "But, well, if they got to see how Aro beat you it was worth it, wasn't it? They saw what they've done; they'll never forget that. And they met your kid. I'm sure that was quite a blow for your father. You've started taking your revenge on those who hurt you, and though it's painful your suffering will be rewarded."

"I don't think so. Aro will kill me for having exposed us like that. He'll kill me because my parents saw how he beat me."

"He won't. That's why I came here. He's very, very pleased with you. He loved how you acted, what you said. Don't ask me why. But he wants to see you in his study, so let's go."

I stand up, brush my hair, put some lipstick on, and go downstairs with Marcus. I knock at Aro's door.

"Come in, Alice."

I open the door and breathe the perfume of old books that fills the room, but try not to inhale the memories. And he's right there, sitting behind his shiny desk, smiling at me.

"I suppose you have heard why I called you," he starts.

"Yes."

"Very good. Nevertheless, I must repeat that I am very pleased with your behaviour today. You acted exactly as I expected –proud, with dignity, firm. That was great."

"I'm glad you're happy."

"Absolutely. You have grown, dear." He rises from his chair and walks toward me. "Remember you used to beg me to take you back to your parents? You have matured, you are a woman now. You didn't cry, you didn't shout at them, you didn't say more than necessary. And you said I am handsome," he chuckles. "I'm satisfied. You are not a child anymore. And now, I would like to reward you."

On his desk lies a box, rather big, made of the finest wood and delicately carved. He opens it to reveal dozens, perhaps hundreds, of the most exquisite and beautiful jewels I've ever seen. Anything you can imagine is there –necklaces, earrings, bracelets, emeralds, pearls, sapphires, diamonds...

"They're beautiful," I murmur, trying to hide my amazement at the sight of this treasure.

"I know. It has taken centuries for us to build this collection. Now, choose one."

"_What_?" I gasp, not caring about my surprised voice anymore. He can't seriously mean he's gonna give me one of _these_.

"What you've heard," he repeats. He's behind me, his hands on my shoulders. He sounds happy and excited. "Choose whichever you like, and it will be yours."

To tell the truth I'm plainly terrified. Is this a joke? A trap? Is it sincere? What am I supposed to do? I certainly don't have the courage to take a jewel, that much I know.

"So?" asks Aro. "Have you decided?"

"Well, Aro, I... I don't think I can. This is too much."

"You can. You will. It's an order."

Ah, that changes things. He could easily hit me because of my incapacity to choose something, that much I know. Therefore I dig in the box, looking for something small and simple. What I find is a pair of earrings, a combination of sapphires and diamonds that I don't know why reminds me of my son's eyes when he cries. I take them and show them to my husband.

"Nice choice," he says as he puts them on my ears. "The finest of the box, actually. You have an excellent taste, love," he kisses my head. "And this," he adds, taking a box out of his coat, "is specially for you. I bought it myself."

He puts something around my neck. It's a beautiful necklace, truly beautiful, three rows of pearls interwined with small threads of gold. He fastens the brooch and takes a few steps back.

"Wow," he exclaims, truly surprised. "They suit you marvellously. You look gorgeous. We really should do this more often. See, honey, how life can be very easy when you behave as you should? It's not that difficult, is it?"

I look down and nod.

"Excellent. And just so you see how I love you, I will not bother you tonight. You can take Sebastian to our room and sleep with him, if you want to."

"Thanks, Aro."

I go upstairs and take the jewels off. They make me feel uncomfortable. Night is falling, so I go to check on my son. Jane is playing with him, trying to make him talk. He plays, too, but stays completely silent. Having inherited some of his father's sharp senses, he notices my presence immediately.

"Oh. It's you," says Jane.

"Yes. You can rest now, I'll be with him."

"Right. Good night, sweetie." She kisses Sebastian's cheek and he kisses her back. I think she's the only other person he likes, beside me. And though Jane isn't precisely my favourite, I can't help thanking her for loving and caring for my son like she does. When she leaves, she blows another kiss and Sebastian waves.

"Hi, frog," I say, sitting on the floor, next to him. He puts his head on my lap and while I play with his bronze-colored curls I keep talking. "I don't need to go to Daddy tonight, you know? He said you and I can be together." He claps and laughs. "I know. So, wanna come with me?" I take his hand and try to lead him to my room, but when he realizes where we're going he stops and tries to free himself.

"What is it, darling?" I ask him, but then I understand. He's seen horrible things happen inside that room, he's seen an authentic hell there. Obviously he doesn't want to go back. "Ok, baby, don't worry, we won't go inside. We'll go back to your bedroom," I soothe him. As soon as he sees himself back in his little refuge he relaxes.

Sebastian's bed was made specially for him, which means, it's too small for me, so I just lie on the floor. He looks at me, turns to his bed, and starts pulling the bedspread. Realizing what he wants to do, I laugh and help him. We take a big pillow and curl on the rug, he with is thumb in his mouth and his head on my chest. He looks at me, and in his sleepy eyes I see the true jewels, the ones no diamond or sapphire can compare to. And when he falls asleep and I watch him under the moonlight I begin to understand what happiness is.


	17. Angels

I know I must apologize for such a long delay. I'm sorry. I've just had an exam to get my first diploma in German, so I had to really study. Added to that are my end-of-term exams and, of course, the World Cup ! You see, I'm Mexican, so I have to watch Mexico's games. We beat Fraaaance ! I attend the Swiss School, so that's Switzerland, too (eat this, Spain !). And I'm realistic, so I support and watch Brazil, Germany, and Argentina. You get an idea. But I love you, guys, I really do. See ya ! XOXO

Angels

Aro's good mood toward me lasts long enough that I get free time to spend in the outside world. Guess where's my first stop.

"Jasper," I sigh, holding him as tight as I can. "My Jasper."

I can't get enough of him, of his presence, of his voice that sings my name, of his fingers through my hair. It's only until Edward clears his throat a second time that we break our embrace.

All the family's there, all _my_ family's there. They listen to me as I talk about my having seen my parents again, and how this has affected me. Everything I thought forgotten is coming back to haunt me, all the wounds I thought healed have reopened and bleed.

"But I don't see them as my parents anymore. It's not like they've acted as such, is it?"

"Of course not, they sold you," Rosalie supports me. "Parents that sell their girls to 'good matches' are nothing but monsters." She speaks with a burning intensity that makes me think we're not talking about me anymore. This idea gets stronger when Emmett puts his arm around her shoulder and caresses her soothingly. Someday, Rosalie and I will have to talk.

There's a silence after her words that lasts about a minute. Then Jasper holds me tighter and kisses my head. At the sight of this Carlisle gets to his feet.

"Er, we were already leaving, weren't we, Esme, honey?"

"Oh, yes, of course. We were _all_ leaving, yes."

Everyone follows Carlisle and Esme out the door. I hear Rosalie and Emmett giggling. Jasper chuckles and shakes his head. Then he holds me again.

"I missed you so much. I couldn't sleep thinking about you."

I laugh. "I missed you, too. If it were up to me, I'd follow everywhere."

"I know. What wouldn't we do, if only it were up to us..."

We kiss. His lips, despite his nature, are warm and soft, and leave a sweet trail on my skin.

"Still," he says, playing with my t-shirt, "there's something that _is_ up to us, and that I'm decided to do something about right now."

"Really?" I ask, smiling at him and unbuttoning his shirt. "Do you need help?"

"As much as possible."

His mouth meets mine once more and, laughing, we go upstairs.

I sink in this oblivion, this tender glory that only he can give me. I hold him as if my whole life depended on him, and in a way it does, in a way he's my joy and comfort, and if I lost him I'd die. However, though I love everything abouth him- his voice, his appearance, his manners, I must admit how important the physical part is.

I know I've said it a thousand times before, but ah, he's so good at this... He knows exactly what to do, and how and where to do it, and it's absolutuely magnific. Many times in my life I've cried in pain, in fury, in fear, but right now, for once, I cry out in pleasure. Pure, simple, limitless pleasure, again and again and again. Sometimes his voice joins mine and it only gets better, becasue I know he enjoys me, that I can correspond to everything he makes me feel, the satisfaction he gives me. Every cell in my body had been aching for him, and now that I have him, the more I get the more I want.

His hands feel refreshing as they move all over my boiling skin, their roughness a pleasant tickling, and I can almost see the electricity flowing between us. His broad, perfect chest moves back and forth over me while I sink my nails on his shoulders, clinging to him for dear life and feeling his warm breath as he murmurs in my ear. Through his power he affects me, and through his power I affect him, so it isn't easy to know who started the crazy need for each other that's now burning us. But what I do know is that I could work at Mc Donald's, because _I'm lovin' it !_

We finally come to our senses and manage to calm down. He opens his arms for me and I lay my head on his chest and put an arm around his waist while his fingers run distractedly across my back.

"Have I ever mentioned how very, very, very much I love you?" he asks in a raspy voice.

"I think you might have, once or twice," I answer, and find that my voice is almost as rough. Seems like our screaming has side effects.

"Let's make it three, then: I love you so, so, so much."

"No more than I love you. I adore you."

"You love with human capacity. Vamps can feel a lot more. What I feel for you is the top of vampire devotion. You humans can't even dream of it."

" 'Us humans?' Now I'm an inferior, a miserable human? Very well, sir, then-"

But he silences me with a kiss.

It's not without difficulty that I'm able to get properly dressed. He walks me to the door between kisses and caresses, and it takes a tight embrace, another long, long kiss, and the promise of coming back as soon as possible for him to let me go. The moment the door closes I want to return.

I drive back to the castle, and nobody asks me anything about these past hours. I go straight to Sebastian's room and find him playing on his own. He accepts my joining him and we play together for a while, until he yawns. I change him into the pretty blue pajamas I got him for his birthday. He looks like an angel, his sleepy blue eyes resemble stars, and his face has the vampire flawlessness and beauty. This is the one good thing Aro has ever done, this gorgeous boy, and as I cradle him in my arms I feel oddly grateful to my husband.

When I make sure Sebastian is asleep I go downstairs; this has been too wonderful a day to waste time sleeping instead of remembering everything that happened between Jasper and I. Voices come from a small room Aro uses as a private reunion hall. The door is ajar and when I look I find him and his brothers discussing literature under the light of the chimney. There's nothing strange in this, it's almost a routine, but the truly surprising thing is that kneeling at Aro's feet is Jane, her head resting on his lap. This had never happened before, never. He strokes her golden hair like he would stroke a pet, and the look in Jane's face is of absolute bliss. She would easily be mistaken for an angel, such is the beauty of her figure, now intensified by the joy of knowing her love and devotion somehow corresponded. I'm glad for her. This is her moment, the one she's worked centuries for. May she have many more.

No one notices me, and if they do they don't show it. I return to Sebastian's room, knowing Aro won't have need of me tonight. And for the first time ever, everyone, absolutely everyone is happy.


	18. Extreme Measures

Hello, dear ones. Ah, it's blissfully freezing over here. Every night the sky falls down, thunders, lightnings, hail. Wonderful. Have you seen Toy Story 3? Looooved it !

**Etc. Enjoy!**

Extreme measures

I get to see Jasper a couple more times without raising suspicions. However, after one of these visits I meet Jane in the hallway.

"Hello, Jane," I say.

"Hi," she answers carelessly. But then she stops, and stops me, too. She inspects my face. "You look very happy today," she comments. Her words make me remember what Jasper and I were doing an hour ago, and I can't help a wide smile. "Where does that smile come from?"

I don't like her inquisitive tone, and her questions are making me nervous, so I answer "The same place yours came from last week, when your head was on my husband's lap and he ran his fingers through your hair."

She looks taken aback. "You saw us," she says in a voice between embarrased and defiant.

"Yes. I saw you and I don't care. I'm not planning on interfering with your life, and so I ask you to do the same. You know I'd gladly put a ribbon around his neck and give him to you if I could. Then I'd be able to live freely and openly.

My eyes float in memories and wishes, and Jane notices it. When she speaks again, it's only her feminine intuition working.

"What are you hiding, Alice?"

"Nothing," I say innocently, but my heart betrays me.

"Don't lie to me. If I find out that you're betraying Aro in any way..." she trails off, too angry to finish. Despite her beauty and personality, she's never looked less like a vampire. Her eyes, her whole face, show her inconditional love of Aro, a feeling that now makes her appear defenceless, soft somehow; not an immortal, not a fighter, only a girl in love. "He adores you, Alice. You and Sebastian mean more to him than the rest of us put together. If you ever hurt him, disappoint him, or humilliate him, I'll personally make sure you pay for it."

I try to answer, bt she only glares at me and leaves. Later, I try to find her, now scared of what she might do to confirm her suspicions. Alec's answer when I ask for her doesn't help.

"My sister is with Aro. They've been conferencing for a while."

I decide to go play with my son to try to calm myself. I'm almost sure they're talking about me, and it won't bring anything good.

After a couple hours of anguish, he finally summons me to his study. Trembling from head to toe, I knock.

"Come here, Alice," he commands me. When I'm close enough, he brushes the tips of his fingers over my cheek and jaw. He puts a lock of hair back behind my ear and sighs almost inaudibly. "You're so pretty..." he murmurs softly. "Jane told me something today, something I refuse to believe. She swore she could see it, smell it, feel it. I trust and love Jane, but I love you more. All you need to do is say no, say it's false, and I will believe it. But please, be sincere." He locks his eyes on mine and asks. "Alice, are you cheating on me?"

I freeze. For a second I think of telling him the truth, of shouting how intensely I despise him, how desperately I love Jasper, of saying everything I think and feel. But I'm not suicidal, and I have a baby to look after. Therefore, I tell him what he wants to hear.

"No, Aro. I could never, ever betray you. Our little family, our child, that's my world, that's all I want. I'd never do anything to threaten our life."

He looks at me, and he seems convinced.

"You are not cheating on me, then."

"Absolutely not, Aro. I'm sure Jane meant no harm, but she got it wrong this time."

"All right. I believe you."

I'm about to sigh in relief when, abruptly, he slaps me twice across the face.

"Why?" I gasp. "I swear I've done nothing."

"Oh, I know," he answers. "But just in case you were thinking about it."

A few days later he comes into our room. He doesn't waste time on words, but only starts undressing me.

"Aro, no, stop," I say, annoyed. Of course, he pays no attention. "Aro, please," I insist.

"What?" he growls into my skin.

"It's the fifth time this week. And it's Tuesday."

"So?" he asks, pushing me onto the bed.

"So, what's all this? I'm sure you don't even desire it."

"And I am sure nobody asked you what you thought about this. You are my wife. This is your duty. Now shut up."

I close my eyes and count in my head. One, two, three... About the time I get to eight hundred, it's over. I roll, turning my back to him. He rolls, too, and passes an arm around my waist, pulling me to him.

"I know you do not understand what I mean with this. Now I will explain. Beside the fact that I always find you extremely appealing and desirable, this has the purpose of getting you pregnant."

"_What?_" I roll again, this time to face him.

"Yes, marshmallow. Jane told me you hated me, but I know it is not true. You will show me it is not true by giving me another child. I had already told you a baby should definitely be in our immediate plans, so... this is the moment. After all these years."

_After all this years, you idiot?_ I shout in my head._ In case you don't remember, three months ago I was carrying your child again, but you beat me, you beast, you beat me till you killed her. Have you forgotten, you bastard?_ "After all these years, yes," I sigh. "We'll see."

When he leaves, I'm terrified. I mean, I could already be pregnant in this moment! What would I do, then? I can't have another baby, I can't. Not now, not by him. He's taken all kinds of measures, for example, under the pretext of checking my health he's having blood tests done every month; the truth is that he wants to stop me from taking more contraceptives. Now this constant intimacy. It's a very good plan, yet after all he has put me through I know it will take more than this to beat me. I call Carlisle, and a week later I'm totally protected against pregnancy and detection. This is war.


	19. Despite the pain

Eclipse Eclipse Eclipse Eclipse Eclipse OMG Alice and Jasper kissed TWICE OMG can't believe it Eclipse Eclipse OMG OMG WOW !

**There. Sorry I took so long, but we all needed time to see and digest Eclipse, didn't we? Hm, I haven't got over it, though. Caught a midnight show, got home at 2:30 am, could sleep until 5. Oh my... anyway. Enjoy!**

**P.S. : ALICE AND JASPER KISSED TWICE !**

Despite the pain

_I'm walking down the street. This is a route I've only used a couple of times, so there's no reason he should find me here. Still, I walk fast, so I don't take any risks._

"_Alice."_

_This voice. The voice I've grown to hate and fear in this months. His voice. I keep walking, trying to pretend I didn't hear him, but he insists._

"_I know you heard me, Alice. Why do you run?"_

_I stop, take a deep breath, and turn around. There he is, as always, leaning against his black van, and smiling at me. His smile is as kind as repulsive._

"_Aro," I say._

"_Hello, my dear. I had not seen you in a while. You do not take this route very often, do you? But I do not understand why, it is so pretty... and very quiet, too. You could do anything you want and never be seen, or heard. Nature is the only witness."_

_My stomach jumps with the realization of the double meaning of his words. We're completely alone, anything could happen and I'd be alone._

"_What do you want, Aro?"_

"_I want to know if you have considered my offer. So? Will you marry me?"_

_I sigh. How long will he carry on with this? When will he understand?_

"_Look, like I said before, I'm... I'm too young to think of marriage. I need time."_

"_Darling, you are more mature than many thirty-year-olds. There is nothing to consider."_

"_I just turned fourteen. Maybe I don't need time to think, but I do need it to _grow up_. Please, what do five, six years mean to you? There's an eternity ahead of you. Just let me grow up."_

_He laughs softly and then says, "How polite you are. This is your nice way of telling me you do not want me and that I should just go home and leave you alone."_

Yes!_ I think. Finally, he understands. I try not to look relieved._

"_But what you do not seem to understand is that I love you." He takes a step toward me and I instinctively step back. He chuckles. "I love you, I really do. If you married me you would have anything you wanted. Anything. Jewellery, clothes, money. You would be queen. Please, rethink your decision."_

"_I've thought it through, Aro, and there's no going back. You don't love me, what you feel is nothing but a whim. I could accept you, but in a month, when you get tired of me, what will happen? If your feelings were true and sincere, you'd wait for me to grow up. Can't you see that I'm too young to marry anyone?"_

_He doesn't say anything, only looks down. I almost feel bad for what I've said._

"_Listen," I start again, "I don't want to hurt you, or to offend you, but this is the truth. I'm sorry."_

_He remains silent. I turn around and continue my way, but, suddenly, something catches me. In a second, he's pinning me against the car._

"_I've had enouch of your refusal, kitten," he says. "You will accept me, whether you like it or not."_

"_Please," I beg. "Don't hurt me. Let me go, please."_

"_Shut up! You've despised me and treated me as if I were nothing. But I won't tolerate it anymore. This is it, Alice."_

"_Please," I implore again. "Let me go."_

"_I told you to shut up! You will marry me, period. I won't take a no. I love you, Alice. We'll get married, and we'll be very happy. Yet..." his voice changes, the whisper terrifies me. "I don't think I can wait till our wedding night..."_

_He presses me tighter against the van. He bends forward and his lips brush my jaw, while at the same time one of his hands descend slowly from my shoulders to my breasts. When I realize what he means to do I twitch desperately and try to push him away, but of course I can't. His hands become claws as he tries to hold me still._

"_Please... what have I done to you, why do you hurt me?"_

"_Will you shut up?" he barks back. He takes me by the hair and drags me to the backseat, whose door he kicks open. I keep screaming and twitching so he slaps me across the face. He pushes me inside the car. Before I can react he's on top of me. He takes my wrists and pushes my arms to both sides of my head. Again, I beg him not to humilliate me. He only hits me once more._

"_Don't you understand," he snarls and puts a hand on my mouth, "that you're completely, totally, utterly alone? There's no one to help you, no one at all. You are abandoned to my mercy. I can do whatever the hell I want with you, and I certainly will. So now, for your own good, close your mouth and open your legs."_

_He keeps kissing and touching me and starts undressing me. He unbuttons my blouse and unzips my jeans with knowing movements; his experience is visible. I keep trying to force my voice through his fingers. Nothing happens. His words prove true, we're alone, I'm alone._

_That doesn't mean I'm not going to put up a fight. I don't care if he's stronger. I don't care if there's nothing I can do. I won't give him the pleasure of knowing he defeated me. I will not give up even if that's the only option. _

_His skin is so cold it burns. His whispers of how he loves me and how much he is enjoying this are more disgusting than the act itself. He eventually decides that since there's no one around keeping me in silence is not as important as keeping me still, so he frees my mouth to control my body and both our voices combine._

_Then he invades me, and it's one of the worst pains I've ever felt. His moans and my screams double while he thrusts and speeds up. _

"_Oh, c'mon, Alice," he says. He takes my hips and moves them to his rhythm, his impossibly cold chest pressed against mine. "you like this, I know you do. You like it a lot."_

_I grit my teeth, unable to answer. Then I start screaming again, and keep screaming, until-_

"Alice, wake up! Wake up, wake up!"

I awake with a start. Marcus is shaking me, trying to make me come back to reality. Not that reality is much better, though.

"I'm sorry," I mumble. "How... how did you hear me?" this is not his usual zone, plus with the reinforcements of the walls...

"I needed to get something. I came, and then the door was ajar, and I heard you screaming."

"I see. Well, thanks."

"You are welcome. Is there anything I can do for you? It has been a while since you last had nightmares. What is the matter?"

"Ah, don't worry, Marcus. It's just old memories, that for some reason are coming back."

Indeed they're back. Sharp as Aro's belt. I only need to close my eyes, and everything is back.

_Finally, finally, he's done. As soon as I'm free of his weight I start dressing. He looks at me, smiles, touches my face, throws a towel so I can clean myself up. He buttons his shirt and zips his pants._

"_You liked, didn't you? Ah, I can clearly see you liked it. You loved it just as much as I did. Good. I'll drive you home now."_

"_I can go alone," I whisper._

"_Oh, no, never. These streets are full of dangers. One never knows what can be found."_

_He takes me in his arms and sits me on the passenger's seat. I'm too tired to protest. I have no more tears, so my chest is shaken with quiet, dry sobs that are even more painful. He still has the nerve to add,_

"_You should be happy. Aren't you pleased that your first time is with a real man, someone who knows? I don't think you would have preferred some boy who has no idea of what he's doing, would you?"_

_I don't bother answering._

"You know what, Alice? You don't look good. Let's go downstairs, I'll get you something to drink."

"Marcus, really, that's not necessary. I'm fine."

"Oh yes it is. Just look at you. I had never seen you in so much pain. It... hurts to watch. You are anything but fine, honey. If I leave you, you will have the nightmares again. Better make sure. So, let's go, ok?"

"Yeah, all right. Thank you again."

We go downstairs, to the kitchen. He makes me sit down while he prepares hot chocolate. While I watch him I remember again. I mean, if we're already thinking about it, better face the whole experience once and for all.

_We arrive to my house. I can see my parents aren't home, which means I'll have to deal with this alone. He gets out of the car and offers me his hand to help me out. Since I don't move he takes me by the waist and pulls me out. Once my feet are on the ground he corners me again against his van, and while he brushes my face with his index finger he murmurs._

"_I would tell you that if you say a word about this you will regret it, but I think it will not be necessary. You are so ashamed, so embarrased, that you will not tell anyone. You feel so dirty, so hurt, that the last thing you want is that someone finds out what just happened. Am I right?"_

_Of course he is. I nod._

"_Though, just in case, I will say it: If you ever, ever, tell anyone anything about what I have just done to you, you will regret it. And I mean it. Understood?"_

_I nod again. He gets inside his car and leaves._

_The very first thing I do is running to the bathroom. I stay more than an hour under the shower, until my skin is crab-red from scrubbing and the scalding water. Some bruises start to show, along with a few scratches that burn when touched by the water. When I leave the bathroom I burn the clothes I wore with him and sit on my bed. I curl up in a ball and rock myself back and forth, not thinking, not feeling, not living. I'm just there. During the next days, I try to look as normal as possible and to forget. I wish._

Marcus brings the cup and I drink under his supervising eyes. He rubs my back and runs his fingers through my hair. It's very, very soothing. He cooes me as if I were a baby, and with that and his caresses I soon feel calmer.

"There, there. Poor thing. Better now?"

"Yes. Much better. Thank you, Marcus, really. You have no idea what this means to me. Nothing ties you to me, yet here you are."

"How could I leave you? You know, Alice, we are kind of soul mates. I mean, not romantically, but... Your parents abandoned you, they practically sold you to Aro. Though you try to hide it, I know you need them. And I... I always wanted a daughter, and in a way, when I am with you, it is like I really have one. It makes me feel so impotent that I cannot help you against my brother, that I can only watch as he tortures you, even in dreams. But I have decided. I will adopt you as my daughter, and I will protect you, I swear I will."

"Thanks. I'll adopt you as my father, too. But beware, I'm still a teenager. I'm dangerous."

"Scary," he says, and we laugh.

Then we both go back to our normality. It's been good for me to spend some time with him, I don't have to hide anything. I mean, I trust Jasper, but I love him too much, and I know that if I let him know how big this pain is he'd suffer along with me, and I'd rather die than making him suffer. Yet Marcus already knows everything, moreover, he has seen how it is like, when Aro insults me and beats me. It's a different kind of trust, of affection. Still, there's something that I have to remember alone. More or less.

Sitting on my child's bed, seeing how healthy, how handsome he is, it seems impossible that he was conceived with so much pain and hatred, that he is the outcome of something so horrible. Sebastian is sound asleep, he looks like an angel, with such pale skin and all that beauty. I love him so much...

_I'm about to have an hysteria attack. I'm not myself right now. I don't know what I want to do more, if cry, scream, or kill myself. I'm pregnant. That bastard got me pregnant. Why, God, why? I've tried six tests, there's no doubt now. I invented all sorts of excuses for the morning sickness, the dizziness, the sleep and the hunger, because I was terrified of this truth. I ignored all the signs. But now... there's nothing I can do._

_Or maybe there is. During a month I try everything I can, the possible and the impossible, to get rid of this thing. I can't have Aro's child, I just can't. I'd rather be dead. Don't think I don't try that, too. But I'm forced to give up. This is stronger than me. Again._

_I tell my parents everything, they blame it on me and force me to marry Aro, who is only too happy to start his little family. The first week is the worst of my life. He rapes me despite my pregnancy and then hits me a couple of times because I'm still trying to get rid of this monster he created in me. We have horrible fights that I always lose. With time we calm down, because I'm so big with the child that I can't move anymore. It's an easy birth, though. Straightforward and almost painless. Aro couldn't be happier, his first born a boy... I don't want to even see him. It's his father who names him, and looks after him with Jane's help. Then comes this illness, and I almost lose my baby. After that an immense, crazy love of my child was born inside me._

And now, when I see him, so pure, so clean, so gorgeous, I can't help being glad I had him. He has taught me so many things, this little boy. I stroke his face and hair, and he opens his eyes.

"No, Sebastian, darling, go back to sleep," I coo.

But instead, he puts his arms around my neck and holds me tight. I hug him back. He's about to turn four, he's a little man now, though for me he will always be my baby. He has seen things no one should ever be allowed to see, to suffer; he has lived so much already. I've convinced his father to start a therapy to make him talk, maybe later I'll try to get him a psychologist. Don't think I'm not worried about future traumas. He's just a child, he's innocent, he shouldn't be going through this. I mean, some of this -my husband's reactions- might be my fault, I, like Aro says, "bring it on him", I provoke him sometimes. But our son...

Sebastian falls asleep again in my arms, but then I don't have the heart to put him back on his bed. I take him to my bedroom and sleep with him, taking advantage that Aro is God knows where. I know Sebastian doesn't like this room, but I hope he knows that with me he'll always be safe. Somehow, I have to help him get over his traumas. I'll see about my own later. But at least, despite everything we have both suffered, we have each other. We are not alone.


	20. The Wounded Dove

**Hi! Sorry I took so long. I changed my pen name! Same girl, though. Anyway, enjoy!**

**The Wounded Dove**

Next morning, quite early, Aro comes to our room.

"I heard there was an incident last night. Nightmares again, love?"

"Y-yes," I stammer.

"What were they about?"

"N-nothing. Nothing in particular. I can't even remember properly what it all was about. It was scary, though." I tried to smile.

"Don't worry, darling. It was just a dream." He strokes my hair and kisses my forehead. "Now, so you feel better, would you like to go shopping?"

"Um... sure."

"Perfect. Then, take this," he hands me money equivalent to the yearly income of an average home, "and buy yourself something pretty."

"Thanks, Aro."

I prepare to leave, but he stops me again.

"Come here. Let me look at you."

He examines me, then takes my hand and spins me around.

"What's the matter?" I ask.

"You have... grown, it seems."

"Grown?"

"Yes. In these last eight, nine months you... I don't know, you are... taller, I think. And also... fuller, curvier, kind of. I don't know exactly, but you definitely have changed."

"Must be that I'm still growing. Humans are fully developed at twenty-one, I still have about three years left."

"Must be. It's just that it seemed so fast, like something started it... Ah, don't listen to me, darling. Go have fun."

On my way out, I make sure Sebastian is with Gianna. The thing is, two days after my little argument with Jane she and some other members of the guard left for Spain, to investigate a case Felix defined as "very interesting", Jane as "none of your business", and about which not even Aro knows about. Since Gianna has given up all pretenses and stays all weekend with Demetri she's the best option for babysitting.

Aro's words do leave me intrigued, and the more I think about them while I drive to the Cullens' the more interesting this whole thing seems. When I arrive, it's Carlisle who gets the door.

"Alice, honey, hi. Jasper's not home right now, but he won't take long. Wait for him here."

Ha, ha, he doesn't even need to ask what I'm doing here. While I wait for Jasper I talk to him about what Aro told me, Carlisle, as doctor, surely has a good answer.

"Well, Alice, you're seventeen, you're obviously growing. I don't find anything weird in that. It's natural."

"No, it's not," someone says. It's Esme, coming downstairs. "I remember when we first met her, she was completely different. Want to know what made her develop physically so fast? It starts with _Jas_ and ends with _per_."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

She sits between Carlisle and me. "Sweetie, it's evident. I suppose the two of you have gone further than a couple of kisses."

"Well... yeah," I blush.

She smiles. "Don't worry. But now that you're doing these... activities willingly, well, it kind of awakens your body. Stimulates it. That's why all of a sudden you grew so much."

"Interesting," says Carlisle. "You are right, love. Always are." He kisses her. I look down, blushing again.

"Hello, family!" exclaims Jasper, just arriving home. "Carlisle, you lucky man. Two of the most beautiful women on Earth for you alone."

"I can share."

"Oh yes, you will."

I let my head fall back on the sofa and kiss him upside down. Carlisle and Esme leave, saying they want to give the happy couple some space.

"Happy couple... they aren't up to anything good, either, judging for what they were feeling," comments Jasper as soon as they disappear. We look at each other, laugh, and kiss again.

Time flies while we talk and talk about anything. He tells me stories about all the centuries he has lived, and they are fascinating and sweet, very unlike the ones Aro tells me, which are plainly terrifying. And then the kissing starts. Better. And better. And better. Oops, we won't make it to the bedroom this time. Hoping Carlisle and Esme alerted everyone else, we accomodate ourselves on the couch. We eventually fall to the floor, of course. Despite the strange urgency that arises in both of us this moment is extremely tender, careful, sweet. He's a total gentleman, respecting me and still giving me what I need.

But I notice that he's not doing everything he wants to, that he doesn't quite dare to. Then I decide to leave McDonald's and go for Burger King and Nike instead.

"Have it your way," I tell him. "Just do it."

Turns out that his way is by far the best. If during the McDonald's time I thought I'd run out of voice, it's nothing compared to now. Lucky thing the Cullens have no close neighbors.

We are having the fun of our lives, enjoying the hell out of this, and just when it all gets better... my phone rings.

"Don't answer," murmurs Jasper. "Let it ring."

"I have to. What if it's _him_?"

I reach for my handbag, but Jasper stops me again.

"You can always tell him you didn't hear, or something."

"Once did. I meant it. Didn't have a happy ending."

Before he can argue further I answer.

"Yes?"

"Alice, it's Marcus." As soon as I answered Jasper began kissing my neck. I try to shake him off, but he only moves to my waist.

"Ah, Marcus, um, yeah, what do you need?" Argh, I can't concentrate! I push Jasper, and he smirks against my skin.

"Aro wants you here as soon as possible. Jane is back. They're holding a trial and he wants you to be there."

"Is-is that s-so? Ok, then I... I'll be there."

"Great. When you arrive, come to my study. Prep talk, you know."

"Ok. Sure. See you."

I hurriedly get dressed.

"Sorry, darling. I gotta go. He's having a trial and he wants me there."

"A trial? Poor whoever it is. Hardly anyone survives trials."

When I'm done he pulls me closer and kisses me in a way that breaks my heart at having to leave him.

"I'm so sorry. I really am," I apologize.

"Never mind. We'll catch up later."

"Definitely." We kiss again, and I leave.

While I drive back I can hardly contain my anger at having my only moment of happiness ruined. Why? A trial, big deal. They don't need me, do they? It's not as if I had any authority or weight for their laws. I'm not even one of them. So? What's the point of separating me from the one thing that's not polluted, my source of joy and pleasure? Not fair.

But that's the way it is, and I must check in with Marcus. He's looking out the window, his back to me.

"Hi, Alice," he says without turning around.

"How do yu know it's me?"

"Smelled you."

Of course. I laugh softly.

"Where were you?" he asks while he moves to his bookshelf, still not looking at me.

"Out there. Wandering."

He turns around and examines me, like he doesn't quite believe me, but prefers to stay with the doubt. "You'd better watch what you do, kiddo," he says, and starts his trial prep talk.

Marcus explains that trials are only procedure, becasue, like Jasper said, hardly anyone survives since you come either proved guilty or proved talented. Their other objective is making this or that vampire join the Volturi, so they go on a complete show of guilty and innocent until they destroy the ones that they don't need and keep the jewels. Marcus doesn't know which plan runs today, Jane only says that it's something of extreme importance.

Caius doesn't like these trials, he always insists that they just kill and take, but Aro says it's important for their reputation to make it look like justice and not whim. What does Marcus think of this?

"For me, this is utterly boring. In all these millenia, the only three truly important aquisitions are Jane, Alec, and you, and none of you needed a trial."

"Me?"

"Of course. Besides all the pleasure Aro finds in you, that you have given him a son, he sees your potential as vampire. I do not know for sure, but I bet he is waiting for you to have another child and maybe grow up a bit more, to finally change you."

"Really?"

"Yes. The only thing that interests him more than your body is your future talent. He swears you will be talented. And you smell rather good, too, so he probably is also looking forward to taste your blood."

Interesting. I never thought Aro had considered all that. I must admit, he's one of the most intelligent men I've ever met, perhaps the most. He's brilliant, sly, careful, an excellent schemer, a flawless attacker. I'm sure that if I didn't hate him so much, I would like him. The only thing he failed at was seducing me, if he had let me see his talents instead of his riches, I would have probably fallen for him, freely. But sadly things are different.

Ooh, speak of the devil. Right after Marcus tells me of Aro's plans, my husband appears, looking excited.

"Alice, love, here you are. Go with Renata and get ready. This will be a very important day for you. These things do not happen everyday. Once in a century, perhaps. I want you to learn, Alice, to know more about this world. It will be fascinating, I promise."

Renata helps me choose my clothes and make up. I mean, I'm usually the fashion expert, but as to what to wear when you're going to see vampires killed or enslaved, I have no idea.

"It is an occasion," she says, picking an elegant, sleeveless black dress. "Look discreet, because you're human, but look your prettiest because you're _his_ human. Aro wants everybody to know he was capable of getting something so pretty. You see, Alice, your presence there means a lot to him. He wants to show how powerful he is, so powerful and invincible he has both species at his feet. Just one little thing, though. He has requested that Sebastian doesn't witness the trial. He says the child is too young, but the truth is, he doesn't want anyone to know about him. That son of yours is his most valued treasure, and he doesn't want anyone to have access to him."

Wow, first time I agree with my husband, both in what he says and what he thinks. I was thinking of asking him to keep Sebastian away, too. Once I'm ready, Renata takes me to the Hall. Aro, Caius and Marcus have already taken their places in the thrones, Chelsea behind them, and Renata soon joins her. Aro looks at me, smiles, and gestures for me to sit at his feet. As I obey him, I wonder what Jane will think when she sees I've taken her pet position.

After a few minutes of waiting the doors open. Alec and Felix come in, close the doors, and take their positions.

"Masters," greets Alec.

"Welcome Alec, Felix," replies Aro. "I trust you had a pleasant journey."

"Indeed. And we do not come empty-handed. Following my sister's previous enquiries we have found something you will all find rahter interesting."

"Well done," says Caius approvingly. "What have you brought?"

The doors open again. Jane's high heels echo around the Hall as she walks with a graceful model-like step. Behind her are two vampires, a man and a woman. He's handsome, like all vampires, but the smugness in his face ruins that beauty. When he sees me he smiles, but it's not kind, on the contrary, it seems like my presence reassures him and produces him some strange pleasure. Aro notices it, too, and with a soft movement of his hand covers most of my body with the velvet cloak he's wearing. The woman has an exotic beauty, Mediterranean features that evidence her nationality. She doesn't look scared, only uncomfortable.

"Masters," Jane's greeting is just like her brother's, but she additionally bows her head. When she raises her eyes they find Aro's. Yes, the bow was a sign of respect, but only for him. I look up and see him nodding softly.

"Jane, my darling, welcome home. What do you bring me today?"

"Their names are Ulises and Natalia. They are the survivors of a coven of five, another two women and a man."

"What is their crime?" asks Marcus.

"Her crime was only to conceal his activities. She has the talent of mental illusions, you might want to talk to her later, so she can show you her power. She only came as witness. He is the one."

"How has he broken the laws?"

"For the past fifteen months he has kept a human girl with him in very much the way you keep A- a slave." She had been about to say _the way you keep Alice_, I'm sure, but she stopped herself on time. She looks at me, though, to make sure the undermessage is understood.

I'm shocked. I never imagined there were more "me's" around the world, I thought only Aro was sick enough to have such a whim and make it true. This new reality is terrifying.

"And does the girl agree on such a lifestyle?" asks Aro calmly.

"No. Aparently he desired her and took her by force when his attempts to seduce her failed. She told her parents and they were about to act against him when they mysteriously died in a car crash. Since she had no other family it was easy for him to bribe the autorities into allowing her to go live with him. He does not hit her or mistreat her besides the obvious."

"Did he marry her?"

"No. He keeps her as his... his..." Jane doesn't seem to find the proper word. "His toy," she finally says.

"I see." Aro turns to Ulises. "You. Anything to say in your favour?"

"The laws about mates and couples do not specify any particular species," says Ulises. His voice is raspy, and there's even more smugness in it. "And it does not seem to be forbidden, because you take delight in a human child, too, Aro. We are on even ground." His eyes are fixed on me and he smiles as he speaks.

"Ah, do not confuse the stories, Ulises," Aro replies. "It seems you are sadly misinformed. You took that girl against her will, you defiled her, and you did not marry her to repair the action. Instead, you have kept her with you to stain her honour over and over again. And you killed her parents. On the other hand, this girl," he places a gentle hand on my head, "is my wife, and has been so for four _years_. Unlike you, I proposed to her before I made her mine. And her parents are still alive, they can tell you they gave me their daughter willingly."

"So is that the procedure, Aro? Rape the girl, then marry her? That's what you did, I'm sure. Ok, then I will marry mine and problem solved."

"I'm afraid it is too late for that, Ulises. You had your chance, and you have lost it. Your crime is serious and does not leave space for a second chance. Does anyone wish to add something else before justice is applied?"

"Master," says Jane quietly. Of course, she wants her fun.

"Go ahead, sweetheart."

Jane turns to Ulises and smiles. She almost purrs with pleasure as he writhes and twists on the floor, and a soft laugh escapes my own lips. Then something else catches my attention –the little mouse that had been standing behind him. She hadn't moved, or spoken, and I hadn't realized she's even here. Once Jane is done with her game Felix continues, and the little mouse's eyes are terrified as they watch her captor burn.

"You," says Caius, adressing her. She turns to him, trembling. "What's your name?"

She looks at him, unable to answer. He repeats the question but no sound comes from her lips.

"We do not mean you harm, young one," says Aro. "Don't you see we have destroyed the one who hurt you? Don't be afraid. We want to know more about you so we can decide what to do with you. Trust us."

She still doesn't speak. She looks at me, she knows we share a story, and that's why she doesn't trust anyone. She knows it's exactly the same thing here.

"Ah, of course, you prefer to talk to a human like you. Alice, love, would you mind?"

I stand up and walk toward her. She jumps when I touch her.

"Sshh," I coo. "I won't hurt you, sweetie." I put a lock of her auburn hair behind her ear. "I'm Alice, Aro's wife." I smile.

"I- I'm Pa- Paloma," she stammers.

"How old are you?"

"I just turned sixteen." She speaks with a soft Spanish accent that could be seductive if well-used. I start to see why Ulises liked her.

"Well, Paloma, you're safe now. If you survived him," I look at the pyre, "you can survive anything." I turn to Aro. "She can leave now, right?"

"I'm not sure... she knows too much."

"We should eliminate her," suggests Caius.

"Brother, let's not be so harsh. We could turn her and keep her," says Marcus.

"She doesn't look promising. She would be just a vampire among vampires, nothing special. I think Caius is right." Why, I didn't know Jane had enough rank to take part in official deliberations.

"Hm... what do you think, Alice?"

Me? Giving my opinion? Wow.

"Let her go free and human," I say. "The last thing she wants is to have anything to do with immortals again. She won't betray the secret because nobody would believe her. She wants and needs to forget. There are no permanent consequences of her months with Ulises and his coven. She is still young, she can go somewhere and start anew, pretend none of this ever happened and have a normal life. She doesn't deserve to be punished. Let her go."

So far everyone has said something different about Paloma's future. Aro considers all options and thinks for a while.

"Paloma, come here," he says. He holds out his hand. She looks at me and I nod in encouragement. She approaches Aro and he takes her hand in both his own. After a while he chuckles. "Ok. We will set her free. But before..." he talks directly to Paloma. "You think your life has been miserable, fifteen months victim of a vampire who abused you. In your opinion, there is no life worse than yours. You have no idea, child. You clearly need to learn, to see how lucky you are. You will stay here until Alice's birthday, in a month. She'll be turning eighteen."

Paloma looks at me, surprised.

"Hard to believe, isn't it?" smiles Aro. "She came here when she had barely turned fourteen, and was forced to mature, you'll see why in a minute. Her life has been much harder than yours. You stayed with Ulises a little over a year, she's been here four years. He never beat you, not even once." He gestures for me to come. He takes my arm and points to a handful of thin lines in my arms. "These are belt marks. She's under a stricter discipline. She has suffered much more than you. Therefore, you will stay here so you can learn from her, and then you will be able to really value the freedom you will be given. Alice, she's yours. Do whatever you like to her. She'll be your maid, your pet, anything you need. You can mistreat her, if you want. Do as you please. Just tell her your story, no details spared. She needs to learn. Go now. Everyone else go, too. My brothers and I must talk to Natalia."

I take Paloma's hand and lead her upstairs. This is only the beginning.

Hello again! :-) So, what do you think? Just in case someone doesn't know, "Paloma" is the Spanish word for "Dove", that's why the chapter is called "The Wounded Dove". Also, "Paloma", from its Latin roots, means _pale, frail. _Ulises, also from Latin roots, means "he who feels resentment". Everything in life means something, people. Ever read Harry Potter? Remember Mad-Eye Moody? Constant Vigilance!XOXO 


	21. The Dollhouse

**Hello, humankind and other species. I'm glad to see you liked our little Paloma. Cute, isn't she? Listen, people, I need you all to review. I mean it, I NEED it. I must make sure no one lost the story because of my pen name change. Review this chapter, and I'll be able to see who's missing and notify that someone personally. Please? (puppy eyes) Enjoy!**

**The Dollhouse**

We walk down the hallway and I open the door.

"This is Aro's and my room," I tell her.

"It's very... nice. Cozy."

"Does it seem so?" I smile. I gesture for her to sit on the bed, but she sits on the floor instead, as if in fear of the furniture. I open one of the closets, mine, and take the bowl of Hershey's Kisses I keep there to cheer myself up. Then I open Aro's closet and take The Belt. With both things in my hands I sit beside Paloma.

"Help yourself," I say, pointing to the bowl. We both take one and I continue talking. "This is the belt, you see? It's always this one," I explain with my mouth full of chocolate. I put the buckle next to my scars so she can compare. "But we'll talk about me later. First tell me your story."

Paloma sighs. "Well, I had a normal childhood. I lived with my parents in Andalucía. Everything was normal until he appeared. I don't know how long he'd been observing me, one day he was... there. For a week I saw him everywhere. It intrigued me, and scared me. Finally, he talked to me. It was pure flattery, and soon I realized he was sweet-talking me into... into being intimate with him. And I was raised in a typical Spanish family –conservative, religious. I had principles, and a strong sense of moral. That's why I refused him, I thought it improper of an unmarried girl to be so close to a man." She smiles at her own naïveté.

"And so it happened. He got desperate and broke into my house while my parents were out. He forced me on my very own bed, and then, satisfied, he left. I cried for hours on end. When my parents arrived I told them everything because I felt it was my duty to inform them that I was no longer a virgin. But they understood that it wasn't something I had provoked, and so they supported me. We looked for him everywhere, in the usual spots where where waited for me, but he had completely vanished. Then, somehow, my parents heard that someone who looked like him lived in Cataluña. That's when the car crash happened. We were driving to Cataluña when something hit our car. We rolled down a small hill. When we stopped my parents were still alive. And then I saw it. It was a white figure, a creature that seemed to glow in the middle of the night. It approached us and finished off my parents. I thought it was biting them, but decidede the crash had affected my head. I fainted, and when I awoke I was in the hospital, the only survivor of the accident.

"Like the blonde girl, Jane, isn't it, said, I have no other family. Ulises managed to convince the authorities, told them I was his niece or something. You can imagine my horror when he appeared and said he was taking me to live with him. We went to Barcelona, where the rest of his coven lived. There were three others, Catalina, Javier, and Amèlie, a French girl, plus Natalia. Javier and Amèlie were together, while Catalina and Natalia were single. I didn't really know what Ulises was, what they all were, until that moment. They told me everything, that they were vampires, and that they fed on humans. I understood something else, too. The creature I'd seen in the crash, the one I'd thought to be an hallucination, was no other than Catalina. Months later she confessed she had been following Ulises' orders, that she was the thing we crashed with, she had put herself in our way... and that she had fed on my parents. Strangely, I never held a grudge against her.

"And so I spent all these months with them, doing nothing but satisfy Ulises' desires. I rarely went out, and was always supervised. He never hit me, though, and for that I'm grateful. The others were very kind to me, too. We continued this lifestyle until a week and a half ago, when your guards appeared. I had barely heard a couple of things about you, I wasn't conscious of the power you have until that day. The coven tried to hide me when the guards arrived, they denied my existence, at least until the blonde did... that, until she hurt them. But they still refused to let me go, they fought. Catalina, Javier, and Amèlie were destroyed right there, while Natalia, Ulises and I were brought here. You know the rest."

"Yes," I say. Paloma's story, though sad, is just like Aro said, nowhere near mine. Mine is much, much worse. I explain how Jane's powers work, it's what seems to intrigue her the most, and then tell her my own story.

"I always knew what Aro was. I recognized his skin, his eyes, his attitude, and when I asked him, he just confirmed it. I met him when I was thirteen years old. He was leaning against his black van, waiting for me. He had been spying me, of course. He knew my every move. That day he gave me a red rose. 'A flower for another flower', he said. At first I found the flattery, well, nice, but then it turned to harrasment. He showered me with gifts and sweet words, and then he proposed, saying that he loved me. He put the world at my feet, he offered the sun, the moon and the stars. But I was a child, I wasn't ready. I refused him lots of times, until he, like Ulises, lost his patience a-and... and r-ra-raped me," this last bit I say it quietly, I still have problems with the word and with talking about that day. "You were 'lucky', so to say, he at least used a bed. Aro dragged me to the backseat of his car and hurt me there. After that I..."

I tell her everything. She seems particularly surprised at my parents' reaction and Aro's temper. I don't tell her about my men, Jasper and Sebastian, nor about the almost baby, though. I'll never discuss Jazz with her because Aro can easily see her thoughts. And, um, well, you see, I'm kind of theatrical, a little drama queen, so I'm planning a better way to introduce my son, and with him the other baby.

"I can't believe it," says Paloma. "It's just too... horrible. And you would never think it of him, when you see him."

"Yeah, he's an amazing liar. He taught me that, the art of the double face. Bet that when you saw me in the Hall you didn't even imagine any of this."

"No. You looked almost happy, no one could have told this."

_And even now, you can't tell that a few hours ago I was desperately making love on a couch with someone who's not my husband, _I think.

"Why do they do this?" she almost sobs, burying her face in her hands. "Why? Why do they torture us? They're powerful, and rich, they can buy any pleasure they want. Moreover, there are lots of women, human and vampires, that would happily give themselves to them. Then why us? We're just human, so why?"

"No, we're not just that," I contradict her. I lean forward and speak softly. "Escucha, Palomita." _Listen._ She looks at me, surprised, she wasn't expecting me to talk in her native tongue, but I really need her to understand this. "Somos sus deseos más oscuros y secretos. Somos humanas, cálidas, suaves, frágiles, además, por supuesto, de que somos hermosas. Somos lo que cualquier hombre desearía poseer. Y no olvides que éramos prácticamente niñas cuando abusaron de nosotras por primera vez. ¿Crees que no les excitó saber que hacían algo totalmente prohibido sin que nadie se los impidiera? Pero lo que más placer les da es saber que estamos a su merced, que pueden hacernos lo que quieran y no podemos evitar que se agasajen con nosotras. Estamos aquí para satisfacer todos sus antojos y deseos. Somos suyas, les pertenecemos por completo."

_We are their darkest and deepest desires. We are human, warm, soft, frail, besides, of course, that we are beautiful. We are what any man would wish to possess. And do not forget we were practically children when they abused us for the first time. Do you think it didn't turn them on to know they were doing something totally forbidden and nobody impeded it? But what gives them the greatest pleasure is knowing that we are at their mercy, that they can do whatever they want to us and we cannot stop them from taking delight in us. We are here to satisfy all their cravings and desires. We are theirs, we belong completely to them._

Paloma sighs again. "Sí. Tienes razón." _Yes. You're right._

"Do you want to know what the best part is?" I say after a while. "Aro has the divorce papers in his desk, ready to sign whenever I want. I can leave as soon as I decide to."

Paloma's eyes are wide with incredulity and even anger "_Then why are you still here?_" she exclaims.

"Because he... he's marked a condition. If I want to go, I must leave something behind. And I can't. I just can't."

"What is it?"

In that moment, as if called by telepathy, Sebastian opens the door. He sees me, smiles, and runs to my arms.

"This," I say, holding him. "My son."

Paloma is plainly horrified. Speechless, she can only look at us, at the little boy who ties me to this existence, to this place, and for whom I'd give my life and more.

Now I tell the story again, explaining that Sebastian is the product of Aro's first attack, and sharing with her all it took for me to accept him. I tell her about my baby girl, killed by her father's blind jealousy. And once I'm done the only thing she can say is,

"How can you love him?", her eyes fixed on my son.

"That's something not even I understand. It just... happened."

"If it were my case, I would have killed myself long ago. I truly don't understand how you've managed to survive."

"I did try to die, believe me. I wanted to, more than anything. But I can't leave him," I caress Sebastian's hair. "He's not the one to blame for what his father has done. He's a victim, too, and I can't just go away, get the divorce, and abandon him. His father loves him, so he'd problably be safe, but he'd end up turned into a monster, I'm sure. I can't leave and pretend none of this exists, Paloma. But you can. You can forget. Do so. In a month you'll be free. Go far, far away and start over. You're young, and pretty, there's a whole life ahead of you. Nothing ties you to this world, you can pretend it was all a nightmare. Whatever happens, it can't be worse than what you've already been through, can it?"

"So!" Aro comes in and walks toward us. Paloma, now completely aware of what a monster he truly is, looks at him with fear. He smiles. We stand up, and I hold Sebastian tighter against my chest. Aro takes Paloma's hand and closes his eyes in concentration. Seconds later, he opens them again. "I see you have told your story through, dear," he says, his gaze on the belt. "So, Paloma, what do you think now? Is your story the Greek drama you thought, or have you finally appreciated how lucky you were, compared to my wife?"

"I..." she stammers.

Aro chuckles. "Do not strain yourself, girl. I have already seen that your perspective has been thoroughly altered. Good." He takes Sebastian from my arms and cooes him. The child's small hand reaches out to me as I watch in anxiety. Aro notices it. "Amazing, isn't she?" he brushes my cheek with his fingertips. "And so beautiful... She is a lot better than you, Paloma. Never forget that."

"Master." It's Jane this time. She waits for his nod to come into the room. "It's Sebastian's bedtime, Master." Already? Well, that explains why I'm totally knackered.

"Ah, of course. Ah, Jane, what would I do without you..." she looks down, both embarrased and delighted by his words. He hands the child to her and for the briefest of seconds their hands touch. I really don't get why Aro hasn't noticed the way Jane feels for him, how she reacts when he compliments her or touches her. I hope he realizes soon. "And, Jane, take care of her, too," he nods at Paloma. She waves at me and I wave back. Then I kiss my son goodnight.

"Let me know if he has nightmares again," I ask Jane. Of course she won't.

Now Aro and I are alone. " 'Their darkest and deepest secrets'? " he quotes. "Nice one, love."

He looks me over for a while and smiles.

"You look so beautiful in that dress... elegant, but sexy. I like it."

He takes me by the waist. I had hoped that with today's events he wouldn't be in the mood for me, but I see I was wrong.

"Beautiful indeed. You were wonderful today," he adds softly. "You really behaved as you should. I am so proud of you. You know, this whole thing with Paloma has made me revalue you. I do not think I completely appreciated you until now." Slowly, he bends down and starts pecking at my jaw. But I'm tired, too tired, between Jasper and the trial all I want is sleep. I try to disuade him from this.

"Aro, don't... not tonight, please."

He moves to my neck. "So pretty... What was that, what you said? Human, warm, soft, frail... almost a child..."

"Please, I'm tired. Tomorrow. All the times you want. Just... not tonight."

He finally stops. But then he slaps me across the face.

"That's why I love you. You know you cannot win, but you fight. You will make one hell of a vampire."

Next thing I know, I'm on the bed. I'm so tired that even with him on top of me I feel I'm falling asleep. I barely hear his words.

"This is what makes you better that Paloma," he whispers, while his hand reaches under the dress, over my legs. "Not only you are prettier, but also stronger. That kid, when Ulises touched her, she never fought. Not once. Soft words and a handful of tears, nothing more, while you... Remember our first time? You put up such a good fight... Even after we were married, even now, you fight. You have no idea how I love that."

I drift between sleep and reality, but most of what he says after this gets lost. I don't notice when I fall asleep.

I don't notice when he leaves, either.

Next morning Paloma comes while I'm getting dressed.

"Hi."

"Hi, Paloma. Slept well?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Seeing that she still has yesterday's clothes on, I remember. "Oh, yes. Jane was just here. She said that they've already sent for your clothes, they'll be here tomorrow at the latest. Meanwhile, you can wear whatever you like from mine." I open the closet. "There. Choose. We're more or less the same size, so there should be no problem."

"Wow," she says. "There are so many clothes in here! And so pretty..." Yes, that I can't complain of. The very best of the best designers is within that closet. I force Paloma to choose -she's too amazed to dare touching them-, and once she's taken a shower and we're both ready, Aro appears.

"Hi!" he greets cheerfully and turns to me. "We are going out. We are having a dress done. For your birthday party."

"Party?" I gasp. "For... me?"

"Of course," he says, as if it were the most typical thing. "Paloma, you come with us. You need a dress, too."

If I thought I was incredulous, it's nothing compared to the look on Paloma's face.

"Well, then, let's go." He opens the door and Paloma disappears in the hallway. I'm about to leave, too, but Aro stops me. His eyes study me, not with desire, but as if calculating something, like he's evaluating me. He takes me back to the closet and pulls out a kind of dress, gray, blue and white, and a pair of dark tights.

"Put this on," he commands.

When I'm in the new clothes he examines me again, not quite satisfied yet. He moves to my dressing table and takes a scarf, almost a veil, and wraps it around my hair and neck.

"Much better. I do not want anyone to look at you. You are mine."

We finally go with Paloma. Once on the street, Aro puts an arm around my waist and turns to her.

"So, Paloma, dear, do you like this castle?"

"Well... yes... it's... amazing... it looks like a... dollhouse."

Dollhouse? I'd never seen it like that, but she's right. This is a place where everyone plays with everyone, but only one pulls all our strings. We become whatever we need to be, we have multiple faces to go with each occasion. Behind a beautiful architecture and pretty clothes a dark undercurrent is always running. Yes, this is a dollhouse. And the game is about to begin.


	22. Gathering the pieces of a broken heart

**Hello! Yeah, people, I'm just as desperated as you, I want Sebastian to talk NOW ! It's killing me. All at its time. Enjoy!**

**XOXO**

**Gathering the pieces of a broken heart**

The dressmaker is a nosy little man who apparently can't stop complimenting either Paloma, me, or even Aro. He makes me stand still with my arms wide open while he talks and talks and talks.

"Ah, sir, your daughter is just exquisite. Truly beautiful, sir."

This isn't the first time someone takes me by my husband's daughter. Aro usually enjoys to make them see their mistake, but now he only smiles and says, "Yes. She's incredible."

"Most definitely, sir. She's absolutely gorgeous. And her little friend, too. She's Spanish, isn't she?"

"An Andalusian flower."

"It shows, sir, it shows. Very pretty young ladies, indeed."

And so on. We actually have fun thanks to Signor Ruggiero and his endless stream of compliments. While we're here I can't stop thinking about the Cullens. I saw Carlisle, Esme, and Jasper yesterday, but though I already miss them I feel there's something else.

"The Cullens will be there when we get home," I suddenly blurt out. Both Paloma -who's now having her measures taken- and Signor Ruggiero look at me blankly, without the slightest idea of what I've just said, but Aro's eyes watch me with deep interest. He comes to stand behind me, wraps his arms around my waist and whispers quietly in my ear,

"How do you know?"

"I... I don't know... I had a hunch… it's nothing," I whisper back.

"I can hardly wait for you to be one of us. You will be so talented…" his hands move lower, to where my womb must be, and press softly. "Hurry up, sweetheart."

We're finally done and walk home again. I truly don't get why Aro wants to walk, since he so wants his race to stay in the dark -figuratively and literally- _and_ if he has so many cars at his orders. When I ask him, he says he wants people to see us together. But I'm completely covered, and he only seems to see Paloma as a pet, or less, so I still don't understand anything. I'm about to ask him again when his cell phone rings. He speaks for a minute, then hangs up and turns to me.

"Demetri. He says the Cullens just arrived for a visit. You were right." Then to Paloma. "See that? She says the Cullens would be there, and there they are. She will make a fascinating vampire."

Then he starts a prep talk on the Cullen family for Paloma's benefit; he describes each of them and their talents. He doesn't mention he desperately wants the to join him, but he doesn't need to, his enthusiasm is obvious.

We arrive to the castle and go directly to the visit hall, where we find our friends. They chat among themselves and with Gianna, except Jasper and Esme, who are on the floor, playing with my child. The scene is charming.

"Dear friends!" cries Aro. "What a happy surprise! What do we owe the honour of such visit?"

"Well," starts Carlisle. "Alice told us that Sebastian starts his therapy tomorrow, and we came to wish good luck. Nothing would make us happier than hearing this boy talk."

"Thank you so much for your wishes. But… when did she tell you that? Alice?"

"I… yesterday, when I went out, I thought I'd drop by at the Cullens' to say hi. I must have mentioned Sebastan's therapy."

"I see."

"And who's this little girl?" asks Emmett. "Is she an unfinished snack?"

Aro laughs and introduces Paloma and her story, saying things in a way that if we didn't all know he's doing exactly the same with me he'd appear as the sweet and kind saviour of the defiled child.

"Well, at least she's safe now. Mind if I borrow her and your garden for five minutes?" Rosalie takes Paloma's hand and they go out.

"I hope Sebastian isn't bothering you," I say to Jasper and Esme.

"Oh, he's no trouble at all, he's charming," answers she. "Actually, it was Jasper who suggested to come here, because he wanted to work with your son."

"How so?" asks Aro."

"I was thinking," starts Jasper, "that perhaps, now that he's starting his therapy, it would be good for him to have a kind of… preparation session. What I mean is, maybe with my abilities I can make him more receptive to whatever treatment he'll start tomorrow."

Jasper sends me his own emotions, and I know he's sincere. He really came here to help my baby. I'm so touched I can hardly hold tears when I thank him.

"That's so nice of you. It truly means a lot to us. Thank you, sincerely, for thinking about our boy." And I send him my own love. His eyes twinkle and he nods.

"You're welcome, Alice. Anything I can do for you. Aro, if you don't mind, I'd like her to sit here with us. I think the mother's presence will help him relax. While you and Carlisle talk, I could work with them. We'll be here, right at your feet."

And that's what we do. Rosalie and Paloma are still talking outside; Aro, Carlisle, Edward, and Emmett are on the sofas discussing books and international politics, and Esme, Jasper and I lie on the floor, playing with Sebastian. It's just so plainly beautiful… Jasper and Sebastian look so alike, the curls, the skin, the smile, that for a moment I allow myself to think that my biggest dream has come true, that Sebastian is Jasper's son, and that for the first time I'm able to have a real family of my own. The child is radiant, he has beautiful new toys, gifts from the Cullens, he's with me, his mom, with Esme, and with the most wonderful man in the world. Jazz and I have a special, wordless communication thanks to his talents, which help us to send each other love and other pretty feelings inconspicuously. For a blissful moment, everyone looks happy. And is.

"It was so oportune, that you came here today," says Aro. "We were about to send you these," he takes an envelope from the table and gives it to Carlisle.

"An invitation for a birthday party?" he asks.

"I didn't know you celebrated that," intervenes Edward. "Which one, the real birth, or the day of the transformation?"

Aro laughs again. "The real one. Alice's birthday. She's turning twenty-three, and I have decided to give a little party for her. You, of course, are the first guests in the list."

"That's so nice of you. Alice, honey, congratulations."

"Thanks, Esme. I really hope to see you all here at the party."

"Of course."

We work with Sebastian for a while and then the Cullens leave. I sit with my son on the sofa and talk to him.

"Frog, listen. Tomorrow we'll go see someone who can help you. We'll try very hard to make this work, ok? Do as she says. I won't let anything hurt you, and you know that. This will do us all good, you more than anyone. Just try, baby. It would make your dad and me so happy to hear you. So, we'll all do our best and everything will be fine, right?" he nods.

"Listen to your mother, son. This will be good for you. Jane and your mom will go with you, so you will not be alone. Your mom is right, nothing would make us happier than hearing your voice. Try, son."

Aro is saying I'm right? Suggesting that someone listens to me? He must be really desperated.

The doctor we're going to, Patrizia, is the one our friend Ricardo suggested while he looked after me at the hospital. She's a pedagog and psychologist, perfectly prepared. She's pretty, too, and that's good, because I once read that children often listen more to good-looking teachers and doctors than to, um, normal ones. Jane and Felix have come with us, both meant to keep an eye on us, but I know Jane is here because there's no way she can miss something so important in Sebastian's life. She truly adores him, he and his father seem to be the only reasons for her life. I once asked her why she loved the child so much, if he was mine and she didn't like me. She answered,

"I don't see him as yours, Alice. For me, he's only Aro's. A little piece of him. In a way, Sebastian is Aro, too." So in loving my son she's found a way to love my husband. Poor girl.

When we arrive to the medical center Felix stays outside Patrizia's office. Jane introduces herself as my husband's sister and comes with us. Patrizia explains what I already know: that language disabilities are often caused by a trauma, that they might be the reaction to a shock or a violent situation.

"Sometimes," she says, "when there are difficult situations such as violence in the family, say, if the father beats the mother or something, the children shield themselves with silence. That doesn't mean they can't talk, but that they decide not to, as a mechanism of protection. They walk and move and behave normally, except for that point."

"I assure you that's not the situation," says Jane promptly. "My nephew has a normal life. His parents are happily married and he has everything any child would want. He's a happy kid."

"I don't doubt that. I just want to help this boy. Ricardo recommended him, he said this is a very special child and that he needs all the help he can get."

Since this is Sebastian's first therapy she keeps it simple, she makes him draw -who knew my son could create such beautiful stuff- and play with some puppets. Jane is having the time of her life watching him, and I am, too, until I catch Patrizia's eye. She looks worried by what she sees. I find my child's behavior completely normal, his usual, but she seems to find something else with her doctor's eye. I'm under the impression that she wants to tell me something but doesn't dare to because of Jane. I'll try to find a way for Patrizia to come to the house, to one of those reinforced rooms where we can talk safely.

As soon as we get home after the therapy Aro summons me to his study and asks me all about it. I don't mention what I saw in Patrizia, so in general he seems satisfied and pleased with the results.

"This has to work, Alice. It has to. We have tried it all. If this does not help..."

"It will, Aro. One way or the other, but our son will talk." The one thing we agree on, the only priority and worry we share: our child. No matter how I hate him, no matter how miserable he's decided to make my life, Sebastian is above it all.

"While you were in the therapy I thought about something," he continues. "Yesterday Jasper Cullen came to work with the kid. How was Sebastian after that?"

"I think he was relaxed. It was good for him to spend that time with Jasper, I mean, he has this talent with emotions that truly helps him from the inside out."

"Yes, I think the same. That is why I have decided something. Though he said he just wanted to prepare him for his first session, what if we invite him to become a regular... therapist? Like, Patrizia could help the child with the clinical and psychological part while Jasper works in the emotional field. What do you think?"

I can hardly believe it. "I... sure... why not?... could be good for our child... yes."

"Done, then. Call Jasper and try to convince him to come everyday, or at least three times a week. Tell him his help will not be left unrewarded."

_Try_ to convince him? Ha!

"You sure?" After the millionth 'yes' he says, "Of course! Every single day! You know I love your child just as much as I love you, Alice. If there's any way I can help, I'll be there."

"Thanks, Jazz. Really."

"It's nothing, sweetheart. And... about the reward part..."

"I'll see to that personally."

"Wonderful. Tell Aro I'll be there tomorrow at four, ok?"

"Awesome. Love you, Jazz."

"Love you more."

Things are just getting interesting.


	23. Split my soul

**Hello, people! Soccer match, Mexico vs. Spain. Who. Was. The. Genius? There's NOW WAY we can beat **_**the World Cup Winner**_**. Buaaaa! Anyway... I hope you all reviewed to let me know you were aware of my pen name change. There are still a few I'm missing; those will get a direct message to let them know. If you are aware, but haven't reviewed, **_**what are you waiting for?**_** Oh, and sorry for making such kilometric chapters, it must be tiring to read them. Sorry.**

**Enjoy!**

**XOXO**

**Split my soul**

Dear Alice,

yeah, I know we've just seen each other, but by the time the door has closed between us I'll already be missing you like crazy.

I asked your boy to give you this letter,and he agreed. I think he understands quite well what happens, the way you and I feel for each other. I haven't told him anything, though, just in case Daddy sees it, but I'm sure your beloved frog already has a pretty good idea of the situation.

Well, I just want to tell you that I love you. A lot. Really, you mean the world to me. I've lived for centuries, and now I finally understand why: to meet you. You've brought so much joy to my life...

It's almost a year since we met, can you believe it? Remember neither of us really wanted to see each other? For us, that reunion meant having to lie, having to pretend, having to grin and bear whatever awaited us. Who could then have told you that I wouldn't make you suffer, that I wouldn't try to hurt you; who could have told me that I would fall in love with the girl I though would be a shallow-minded, ambitious, simple human; who could have told us that we would find in each other's arms the very thing we desperately yearned for.

Those first days you always looked like you were about to cry; your pretty eyes were like an ocean where I saw, like I once told you, so much sadness... If you smiled -which wasn't very often-, it was a shy smile, and just as sad, you would look down and tremble softly. Then we met in that alley and everything changed so thoroughly, so wonderfully... we should make a before and after, you know? So you could notice that the ocean I used to see has become the place where I find not only the sky, but also the most beautiful stars and my own personal heaven. Now you smile broadly, you even laugh! And I'm just so proud I helped to make those changes happen, I'm proud I could paint that lovely smile on your gorgeous face.

In making you happy I've found happiness, too, much more than I could even think existed. You know I can sense people's emotions, and there were times, at home, for example, where I felt tons and tons of love, thinking that such a thing could never, ever happen to me. Yet here I am, writing my heart out to the woman I love almost to the point of madness, the woman I would give my life, my heart, my soul for; the woman that means everything to me: you.

All the beauty in your heart and spirit has invaded your entire body. You are the most beautiful woman I've seen in my life, physically speaking. Don't be offended, love, but you're so small... I like that, ok? You are like a porcelain doll, so fine and delicate, only much, much better, because, well, the way you hold me... the way you touch me... the way you kiss me... I don't think any doll can match that. Yes, I accept it, I love your body, too –every inch, every curve. You are amazing, darling, and even if I didn't love you as completely and mindlessly as I do, I'd still do anything to keep you by my side just for the enormous physical pleasure you give me in those stolen moments "upstairs". But I do love _you_, sweetheart, I love everything that is you.

Sebastian, well, what can I say? I admit that at first I couldn't understand your devotion for him, but with time I learned to see his beauty. He's just as pure and innocent as you are, honey, now I know. I've grown to love him as my own, and I share your wish that he were truly mine. One day, I promise, I'll set you free, and then nothing will give me more joy than he can see me as a real father, the same way I try to be a real man for you, Alice.

Now, my precious one, burn this letter as soon as you finish reading it. Yes, I know you don't want to, but it's the safest, we can't risk being discovered. Better turn this into ashes. Think of Daddy if it helps. And, please, tell the frog he's doing wonderfully, and that he's the most fantastic kid I've ever met.

See you tomorrow.

Lots of kisses for both of you

Me.

I close the letter I found hidden in Sebastian's clothes and press it tight to my heart. How can Jasper think I'll burn his words? I'll keep them with me forever, and once all this is over we'll read it together and laugh and remember these days as part of a past long gone.

Jazz has been coming for almost two weeks now, and it's really, really helping Sebastian. The child trusts him, and since Jasper already knows perfectly well why my baby is mute working with him is easy. Sebastian seems happier, merrier, more like the child he should always have been. Patrizia knows about Jasper's help, and agrees with me on the improvement. Things are really getting better.

Aro hasn't beaten me in over a month, for which I'm grateful. He seems to be keeping pretenses with Paloma, who, by the way, looks much better now. The scared look of little mouse she had when Jane brought her here has disappeared and been replaced by the freshness and beauty of the sixteen-year-old girl she is. She has two weeks before she leaves and has made her plans.

"My life is in Spain, but I don't think I'd be able go return to Andalucía, knowing I won't find my parents. I'll go back to Barcelona. Natalia has some contacts, and has offered to help me rebuild my life."

Speaking of Natalia, I talked to her too. We have barely exchanged words during these two weeks; I don't know what she'll do now, or even what made her join Ulises. From what Paloma has told me about her, she doesn't seem the type to join that kind of coven.

"Well, I'm staying here, of course," she told me. "It's the best option, given my... what I can do."

"Yes, Aro has mentioned you can play some kind of... mental illusions. Interesting. How did that develop?"

"You see, when I was human I was a gypsy. My mother trained me and my sisters in tarot and hand reading, among other things. I liked that, the gleam in the people's eyes when I told them something. I was happy as a gypsy."

"And then..."

"And then, the classical story: I fell in love with a payo –a white man, someone who didn't belong to our race, our tribe. That kind of relationships have always been forbidden. The patriarch of my tribe found out about our love and forced me into a marriage with a real gypsy. Before that, I decided to escape with my man, Camilo. But, somehow, the gypsy who wanted to marry me discovered our plans and attacked us when we tried to run away. He stabbed us both and abandoned us.

"It was then when Catalina found us. Camilo was already dead, but I, by some miracle, was still agonizing. She decided to save me and turned me into a vampire. Then she took me to Ulises. I never sympathized with his ideas, but Catalina didn't want to leave, and I didn't want to be alone, wandering; I was suddenly tired of being a gypsy. Plus, I owed Catalina for saving me, and would stay with her for as long as she needed me. It just kills me that I couldn't save her. She was my friend, my sister, and I let her die. But what could I do, I had that blond demon attacking me with her eyes. I had no choice. It wasn't my fault."

She says that last bit as if she's trying to convince herself of what she's saying. I immediately reassure her.

"Of course it wasn't. Most of us just don't have a choice. But, why are you staying?"

"Aro won't let me go. I mean, I can, but sooner or later he'd track me down again. My gypsy training became a kind of mental control –I can make people believe what I want them to believe. If I looked at Jane's eyes and told her she's a bird, she'd totally believe it, and would surely try to fly out the window."

"Oh, please, do that!" I laughed.

"I would if she could break her neck in the process. That's another reason for me to stay –I need my revenge, and Cati's."

Poor Natalia. But she's right, Aro would never let a power like hers just go. She'll become a high-rank member of the guard, the Third Jewel, after Alec and Jane. I'm sure we can help each other, make a team. We'll see.

Right now everything is focused on my birthday party. The dresses are almost ready and all the invitations have been sent. It's weird, this is the first party since I'm here that I don't organize myself, and it's my own. To tell the truth, I don't know how to feel, if excited or scared, I don't know how it will all turn out. While I try to order my ideas I lay on the bed and re read Jasper's letter, which I now know by heart, word by word, drinking as much as possible from his beautiful words. I'm planning my reply when Aro arrives. Angry because he burst by bubble, I turn my back to him.

"Your party is almost ready," he says. "It will be a very important day."

"Of course it will. Eighteen. I won't be a child anymore. I'll finally become an adult. I must mature and grow up and live a real life."

I glance at his face and he has raised his eyebrows, amused by the sting of sarcasm in my voice.

"An adult life, indeed. But before you do that, and since you are already on the bed..."

He turns to me. As answer, I curl myself in a ball. He hovers over me, straightens my body and positions himself on top. He has only kissed me once or twice before he notices my muscles are totally tense and my hands are balled into fists.

"What is going on, Alice?"

"Nothing."

"Then why are you so difficult today?"

"You disgust me."

He chuckles. "I know. But I have always disgusted you. I disgust you just as much as you fascinate me. No, this is something else. I have noticed it, you have been acting strange these days. Weeks, maybe. It has been years since you last fought like this. Since you were pregnant, I think."

"Which time?" the poisonous words come out of my mouth before I can stop them. "The time I carried a child product of a rape? Or the time you killed my baby by dint of blows? Oh, but that child was the product of a rape, too. Remember you beat and abused me because you thought I had a lover? And two weeks later you knelt before me and said you _might_ have overreacted. Then you provoked the abortion. Then-"

Before I can notice he's on his feet, and slaps me across the face.

"So this is it," he growls. "You suddenly think you have the right of deciding what to do with your life."

"I do! It's my life! It's my body!"

"It's not!" he shouts, hitting me again. "That's your problem. How many times have I told you this? You are mine. Mine, do you hear? Mine! And I am the one who decides what you will do with your life, because it is not yours, it is mine."

He stares at me, but can't make me look down. His face is a mask of rage, the ruby eyes flaming, and he looks like the vampire he is.

"I want to think you are only a rebellious teenager," he continues. "For your own good. Because if I discover there is something else the only one who will lose will be you, kitten. I will not tolerate defiances or disobediences in my own house, and from my own wife. Whatever crazy idea you are incubating, this will make it go away."

He takes me by an arm and throws me to the floor, then opens the door to his closet and takes The Belt. And I was happy because he hadn't beaten me in a month... He hits me fiercely and slowly, taking his time to savour each blow. I cover my face, mostly for the party's sake; people can't see me with my face bruised. Aro is enjoying every second of this.

"Where's your stupid pride now, Alice? The dignity, the strenght you have always made a show of having?" he chuckles. "You are nothing, Alice, absolutely nothing. No matter how hard you try to fake it and pretend, I know you are terrified of me. I used to spy on you whenever I left gifts beside your bed because I wanted to see your reaction. I wish you could see the look of scared bunny you had with each of those gifts; it's the same you have when I take your son away, the same you have right now. The very same you had the first time I took you. The look of fear, undiluted fear because of me. So don't go around playing the big, corageous woman when you're nothing but a terrified child."

"I hate you."

"So what? When has that stopped me? Remember when you were fourteen years old? I bet you already hated me back then. But your hatred did not save you from the backseat of my car, did it? Were your hatred, your disgust, helpful when I was... raping you?"

"Shut up," I say, covering my ears. I still can't discuss that day openly, and certainly not with him. He takes my hands, forcing me to listen.

"You don't like how things are now turning against you, do you?" he laughs. "Well, kitten, you started it. Now listen," his lips are at my ear. "You have no one but me. And nothing you do can stop me from having my way. You could not stop me when you were fourteen and I raped you, you could not help giving birth to my son. You would not be able to do anything if I decided to kill you, either. There has not been a day when I have desired you and you have not satisfied me. This will not be the first one."

Taking me by the hair he drags me back to the bed. I still try to resist, but I'm easily defeated. When he touches me the belt cuts open and move, making things more painful.

"Aro, please, it..."

"It hurts, doesn't it? You should have had that in mind before your little show. I was going to have you anyway, only that now you are all beaten up and suffer, while I only enjoy it a lot more."

_Jasper._

**Everyone, a round of applause for ****LexiiCat****, whose psychic review knew that this beating was coming. Whoo hoo!**


	24. Monster

**Hi ! Today I celebrate a year of posting Fan Fiction here. I started with The Baby Chronicles (that are still with us, in chapter 34!), and then Hope came to me in a kind of Alice vision. Here it is, still alive as well after nine months. We're beginning a new one, The Witch Twins (also a vision), we'll see how it develops. Thank you all for being with me, for supporting me in my hardest moments. Writing here is the blood this your vampire needs. Thank you all. I love you.**

**Enjoy!**

**XOXO**

**Monster**

"It's... it's just... whaah... I can't believe he did this to you."

I sigh and look at Paloma's reflection on the mirror. She's sitting on my bed, shaking her head in incredulity. I'm at my dressing table, wrapping a green scarf around my head, covering my hair and most of my face. Given my black eye and some other facial bruises it's obvious Aro won't let me go out, and I find the scarf unnecessary; everyone here knows he beats me, there's nothing to hide. But at least I don't look scary.

"Told you, it happens," I say, adding a pair of sunglasses to my outfit.

"But why did he beat you?"

"Because I didn't want to sleep with him."

Paloma exhales, horrified. "And you say it so calmly..."

"Habit."

"We're leaving," interrupts Jane, opening the door. Today only she will go with Sebastian to see Patrizia, she's also called Jasper and told him she'll take Sebastian to his house. Since she's furious with me because I'm angry for what happened yesterday -in her opinion, I 'should be thankful for being the object of Aro's desire and try to do anything to please him', quoting literally- the fact that she now allows me to see my son is most surprising.

"Behave well, baby. Do as Auntie Jane tells you and be good to Patrizia and Jasper, ok?" he nods. "Here," I add, taking one of his jackets from a chair. "In case you're cold." I kiss him.

Jane rolls her eyes and they leave. Only I know of the letter hidden inside that jacket.

Jasper's POV

Dear Jasper,

there are just no words to describe what I felt when I read your letter. I love you, too, more than you can imagine. You've given meaning to my life, and my son's; thanks to you now we have hopes for a new, better life. Sebastian and you are the only things that keep me going, and it makes me so, so happy that you love each other. Because he adores you, too, you're like his safe harbor, his protection... and mine.

Now, you surely wonder why Jane is taking Sebastian to your house this time. I don't know what she told you, but yesterday Aro and I fought, and, well, you know... I don't look my best right now. Forgive me for blowing our only chance to be together. And, please, try to soothe Sebastian, he didn't see anything, but he knows what happened and is a little disturbed. Please.

I miss you so much! I mean, I know we see each other every day, when we work with my child, but I miss _you_, being with you, loving you, being able to kiss you and hold you and tell you I can't live without you. You are beautiful, too, body just as much as heart. You're tall, and strong, and I love having to stand on tiptoes to kiss you. I was hoping to catch up today, but given yesterday's events I'm afraid we'll have to wait. I'm so sorry. But at the party we'll steal a few minutes for ourselves, won't we? I need you, Jazz. I'll try not to get in more trouble from now on. That way I'll be able to escape more often and do something funny "upstairs". Believe me, love, it will be worth the wait ;-) .

Well, that's it for now. I'll try to convince Aro to let me be at Sebastian's therapies; I, just like you, start missing you the moment the door closes.

Lots, lots, lots of love and a kiss wherever you want.

Alice.

I don't know what I want to do the most, if growl, cry, or go put my arms around my Alice and never let her go. Since I can't really cry and my Alice is far away I go for the growling. It just breaks my heart. She's apologizing because her husband beat her? Whatever the fight was for, it was anyone's fault but hers. That monster. That damn monster.

And she's not even thinking about herself, she never mentioned her own well-being once, it was all about me. I feel so selfish... Still, I'm glad she sent this letter, it's a little piece of her to carry with me wherever I go. And I needed to know exactly why she wasn't here, considering that her son is her priority. Not that I believed for a second the excuse Jane gave me:

"She made the dressmaker come to the castle. Her dress for the party is almost ready, and she wants to make sure she looks perfect. Since the dressmaker would be there she decided it would be better if Sebastian was away, so he wouldn't disturb the process."

Yeah. Sure.

The good thing is that Sebastian is getting better. You know what I think? In my opinion, he's perfectly able to talk, and has always been, but he doesn't _want_ to. It took me a while to reach his true feelings, because his life in that place has taught him to shield himself, to play a double face just like his mother's. He's not even four years old, for God's sake. Fortunately, he sees how his mom smiles when we're together, knows I mean them no harm, and has learned to trust me. Really soon, I hope, we'll be getting tired of his voice.

While I play with him I form my plan. There's no way Aro is keeping me away from my Alice. After they leave I wait a prudent lenght of time before acting.

"Hello, Gianna."

"Good evening, Jasper. I thought Jane was taking Sebastian to your house today."

"Oh, yes, she did. That's why I'm here –Sebastian forgot his jacket," rather, I told him to leave it so I could visit him later. "I came to return it."

"How nice of you. I'll call Jane and-"

"Actually, Gianna, I would like to talk to Alice, if possible. She asked me to keep her informed of her child's progress, so I can give her the jacket and talk to her."

"Well..." she stammers, which only confirms my suspicions. I detect nerves and tension and fear, Aro or Jane probably threatened her.

"Come on, Gianna," I say, using my powers to convince her. "We're only going to talk."

"I don't know, Jasper. Aro's not here, and I have orders-"

"Allow him to see her,Gianna," says Alec. "I take full responsibility for it."

"But, Jane-"

"I know what she said. But she's my sister, and therefore we're equals, aren't we? Let our friend see the girl, and if Jane or Aro try to hurt you, I'll tell them I gave my permission, ok?"

Gianna takes the phone and announces me. Then she guides me through the passages I know fully well from all my visits. When we arrive to Aro's private visit hall, Alice is coming downstairs, Sebastian holding her hand. Gianna leaves and the child runs to my arms.

"Hi there, Sebs. I hadn't seen you in so long! An hour, perhaps?" He laughs.

"Too long indeed," says Alice in her soft, teenage voice.

I put the child down and, without thinking, I run to his mother and kiss her. So long without feeling her mouth on mine, and I wonder how I could survive. Our arms are around each other, making the most of these seconds when we have no witnesses. She moans softly, and I, mistaking it for pleasure, hold her tighter. Then she moans again, and I get it –pain. Damn it.

"Ouch," she giggles when I let her go. "And you, young man, should turn around when these things happen. It's a grown-ups' thing."

Sebastian laughs again. Alice pecks me again and sits beside her kid. My frozen heart aches at the sight of her. She seems cheerful, though. She holds out her hand to me while she speaks.

"And how did you manage to come all the way here? I heard Aro give orders of keeping me in here without visits or phone calls."

I sit on the sofa, leaving Sebastian between us, and explain.

"You're risking a lot," she says.

"It's worth to see you."

She laughs with the laughter Sebastian inherited from her –sweet, fresh, innocent. But when she moves her scarf falls back, revealing her face. I can't stop a hiss. Her left side has a purple shadow from cheekbone to jaw, and the right said of her mouth has a single, round bruise; looking carefully I see another four on her cheek, jaw and neck. I put my hand over them and the bruises match the positions of my fingers, my thumb at her mouth.

"Jazz, please," she whispers, not smiling for the first time. She tries to re arrange the scarf, but I stop her, taking her glasses off instead. One of her eyes is totally black, and the contrast with her blue iris is horrifyingly fascinating.

"Jazz-" still trying to stop me

"Why?" I ask. "Just tell me why."

"Well..." she starts, covering herself again. "He wanted to... you know..." she looks at the child, she doesn't say it all because he's here, but I understand. Our disgusts combine as I nod. "And I refused, and we started arguing, and I said some ugly things, and he said some others, and he said he would not tolerate disobediences in his house and... did this."

She's lost in thought now, and with the increase of her revulsion I know he got what he wanted. Sebastian lets his head fall on his mother's lap. She smiles softly and runs a hand through his curls.

"And you say it, just like that..." I tell her.

"Habit," she sighs. "Plus, I've had worse. I was able to walk from this one without any help at all." She laughs without humor.

"Alice," I whisper. "I swear I'll-" Sebastian suddenly stands up. I hear it, too. Footsteps. Aro's, of course.

"I told him, but Alec said that..."

"It's ok, Gianna, do not worry. You are not in any trouble. You can go."

"Yes. Thanks."

He comes into the hall, majestic, imponent, elegant. Alice and I stand up, she behind me, Sebastian behind her. She's scared, but mostly for the boy and me. Aro is trying to control his temper for appearance's sake, never losing his kind smile but with jealousy devouring him.

"Jasper. What a surprise."

"Yes, sorry. But Sebastian forgot his jacket in my house, so I came to return it."

"Is that so?" Aro turns to his son. He looks at him, thumb in his mouth and nods. Still not satisfied, Aro takes the child's little hand. I freeze. Alice panicks. We shouldn't have kissed in front of Sebastian. Aro will see it, he'll see that she and I-

"All right. Perfect."

_What?_ Didn't he... wait. Has Sebastian learned to hide his thoughts as well? That's difficult. The poor creature must be under constant terror to manage this control. _And he's not even four! _

"Well, Jasper, I'm glad you came. Let me walk you to the door. Alice, wait for me upstairs." She does as told, taking her son with her. While I walk with Aro I ask him,

"And why was she all covered?"

"Oh, one of her excentricities. The party is quite close, and she does not want anything to ruin her pretty face before the celebration."

_Reveeeengeee !_

Alice's POV

I leave my son in his room and wait for Aro. Every second is torture for me. I don't know what he saw in Sebastian's mind, so I have no idea how much trouble I'm in. I wait and wait, until he arrives.

"Come here, Alice." Once I'm close enough he whispers, "Right now I am going to beat you very hard so I do not have to beat you harder later on."

"But you beat me yesterday," I stammer.

"Does not matter. Do not think I have not noticed the way you look at Jasper. I know you like him since the first time you saw him. But, sweetheart, do you seriously think he will ever feel something for you? Honestly, with so many wonderful women out there, do you think he can set eyes on you? And even if he did, what? He knows how protected you are, he knows that looking at you would be his death. If I let him help Sebastian is because I want our baby to talk and I want you to at least get a glimpse of what you will never have. But it is the moment for you to stop all those silly dreams. And if you cannot remember it on your own, maybe this will help."

He starts hitting me. Again. Ugh. He doesn't throw me to the floor, he merely shakes and hits me while he chases me around the room. And as he does it he speaks.

"I truly don't comprehend how you are still unable to understand you are alone. You have never had friends. Your parents sold you! No one wants you, can't you see it? No one!"

"I have my son! That's enough for me."

"Your son... I can take him away whenever I want. You are alone, Alice, you had better never forget that. Jasper Cullen... you are looking too high. How can he ever feel something for you? Do you think he would like you if he knew you cannot get pregnant?"

"I can! Less that a year ago, I was carrying your daughter. Have _you_ forgotten, Aro, what you did to her?"

"Shut up! Who do you think you are to interrupt me? What would your Jasper think if he saw you now? If he knew that all you can do in bed is lie there, totally motionless? That, the simplest thing, you cannot do it right! Not even during intimacy would you be able to please him."

"How can you know? I never do anything with you because you disgust me. You have no idea what I could do to someone I like." _And, believe it or not, Jasper does know. For your information, I've had him scream in pleasure lots of times since we first did it._

"Challenging me again, aren't you? Ha! You are an awful lover, an awful wife. You are a failure! You-"

"Monster!" shouts a new voice. Both Aro and I fall instantly silent, because though we have never heard this voice before we perfectly know who it belongs to. We turn to the door and there he is, our son, small and fierce, his little eyes angry and veiled with tears. He runs to me and hugs my legs.

"Mama," he whispers. "Mama."

He turns to his father. "Monster," he repeats.

"Son, I..." stammers Aro, but Sebastian cuts him again.

"Monster! Monster, monster, monster! You are a monster. She is not a failure. She is a good mama. And you are an awful papa. And I hate you."

Aro and I look at each other and at our child, not knowing what to do or what to say. Then I lose it. I hug Sebastian as tight as possible, practically crushing him, and cover his face and hair with kisses.

"Honey, you're talking! Finally, finally, finally! You're talking, sweetheart!" What do I care what his first words were? They were words! My son is talking! After almost four years, he's talking!

"I love you, mama," he says.

"I love you, too, baby, more than my own life."

Aro watches us, speechless. It takes him a while to build up the courage to come and sit with us. I'm seeing a side of Aro I never thought possible. He's shocked, just like me, whatever we thought the context and content of Sebastian's first words would be, it certainly wasn't this. He's wounded, of course, his own son has been more devastatingly sincere than anyone else. But he's thrilled and overjoyed at the same time; he doesn't care what Sebastian says as long as he actually says something. Sebastian is the only child he's had. Ever. I've been waiting four years for this moment, Aro has waited millenia.

"Sebastian..." he says softly. He so very rarely calls him by his full name, he'd got my word, 'frog'. He raises a hand as if to touch his curls, but seems to think it better. After all, the child has just told him that he's an awful dad, and a monster. "Son, you have just said you hate me. And I do not blame you; I know your life has not been easy. But I love you, I really do. You are the most precious thing to me. All this eternity has been worth living just to see you. You and your mother are my only reasons to live."

"You beat my mama," says Sebastian. It's not an accusation, merely a statement. Aro has nothing to say back.

"Frog, sweetie, listen," it's me who speaks now. "I know that your dad and I... well, we don't really get on. We fight and have lots of problems, I know. But there's one thing we share, one thing we have in common, and that we love and care for above all things. You. Though we," I gesture at Aro and myself, "might not always be in peace, you will always be our priority. He says he loves you; believe him. He adores you. And as long as one of us is alive you can be sure you'll be safe, ok?" Sebastian nods. Aro finally dares touching him, he strokes the child's back and hair.

"Master," it's Jane, probably to announce the boy's bedtime. She looks at the three of us, sitting on the bed, and a shadow of confusion clouds her face, such a family scene had never been seen before.

"Hello, Jane," I greet her and turn to my son. He smiles and says,

"Hello, Auntie Jane."

Jane stares at him, open-mouthed. You'd think it was her own child talking, there are no words to describe the beauty and radiance of her expression.

"Sebastian..." is all she can say.

He walks toward her. She kneels and hugs him tightly.

"I love you, Jane."

"I love you too, sweetheart."

"You are like my second mama. You are my fairy."

"I'll be anything you need me to be, honey. Sebastian, I would die for you."

"Take him, Jane. He needs rest."

"Yes, Alice. See you tomorrow."

"Bye, mama."

"Sleep well, frog." I blow him a kiss.

The door closes. Aro and I look at each other. And now? Minutes of silence.

"Oh God. He's talking," I finally say.

"After all this time."

"Yeah."

And suddenly, Aro hugs me. All the horrible things he said to me, the blows, they go away with this hug that doesn't have desire or posessiveness in it, but something I never thought him capable of feeling –tenderness. To my surprise, and I'm sure his even more intense one, I find myself hugging him back. My feelings for him haven't changed int he slightest, but today, for once, we are together in the same happiness. We are not husband and wife, not even man and woman, we're father and mother, parents of a child who hadn't said a word in four years and whose voice has just filled our hearts.

"I'm so sorry," he says, stroking my hair. I pull back and look at him in shock. He's _apologizing_ ! "Yes, I'm sorry. I did not mean anything I said to you. Of course you are beautiful, and amazing, the most wonderful person I have ever met. It's just that... well, I love you. And I just can't stand the idea of losing you to someone else. I need you. Don't ever leave me, please." He pulls me into his arms again.

Has the monster been really killed?


	25. The Veiled Heart

**The veiled heart**

Neither of them are in the castle right now. He's taken her somewhere in an outburst of love; this last week has been absolute bliss for them. I wonder how long we have until the happy bubble bursts again. I look out the window of their bedroom and see their child in the garden, playing with Jane. Such a waste. The kid's mom, I mean. I remember _him_ a few years ago, the tantrums we had to tolerate everytime she rejected him.

"_I want her!_" he would shout in the hall, and everyone would back off at the sight of his rage. I thought it was a whim, like so many others he had always had –women, talented vampires, blood. I had never seen this new interest of his, and I could not understand what she had that drove him crazier that I'd ever seen him. I thought that however she was, she was not worth it.

Then, one day, he arrived with a look of pure joy and satisfaction in his eyes. He had had his way, as always. And judging by the arrogant, almost cruel air of authority and power I could tell it was not something the girl had precisely agreed on. I had all but forgotten her when, about two months later, he brought her to the castle. Oh boy. The moment I saw her I knew she was totally worth anything. She was a tiny thing, she could not -and still cannot- even reach his shoulder. But despite her size and her obvious youth the way she carried herself, her bearing, it was completely ladylike, she inspired respect. And she had a beauty that time has only made better. It was easy to understand his desperation everytime he heard her refusal. What I could not quite get was why he had waited so long; anyone else would have fulfiled his desires much sooner.

That day he walked with her to the centre of the hall and introduced her as his fiancée and mother of his child. The news were most unexpected, shocking, surprising, but in that moment what attrected me the most was that as he spoke she looked down, but in her eyes there was no fear, defeat, or sadness, only the purest hatred I have ever seen in my life, and I have lived quite a while, believe me. Strangely enough, that expression, that furious pout her mouth became when she stared at us, all that was more inviting that the most seductive of attitudes. I felt an inexplicable attraction for her, his child bride. And that is where it all began.

I open a drawer of her dressing table and find the scarves, almost veils, that he makes her wear everytime he beats her, or has an attack of jealousy and does not want her beauty to be shared. I take a purple-and-blue scarf and inhale its aroma. It is a combination of expensive perfume and the scent that's purely her –jasmine, whitelily, strawberry, cherry. It is strong, but at the same time soft, it has a sensual ring to it. It awakens the man in me and stirrs the sensations she has inspired me since that first day. I later found out that I was not the only one who desired her; many of the guard revealed during a chat a few days later that they wanted her more than anything, and I know some of us, if not all, still want her, would still do anything to get her. The question here is whether their feelings are pure desire, or if they have grown into something else... like it happened to me.

The scarf is smooth silk, an accesory I have often seen covering her hair and neck. The softness of the fabric makes me think of the skin it has touched. I mean, I haven't had a chance to touch her beyond the hands and face, but that is enough, and allows me to imagine the rest. I remember thinking about that a lot the first days, while I heard her screams. He did not think of reinforcing the walls until she arrived and he wanted privacy with her. It took a while to make the rooms and the study completely soundproof, and in the meantime we got to hear very interesting fights. Everytime she opened those pretty, pink, full lips of hers somthing strong came out of them. Right when I thought there was nothing left for me to learn, she arrived and showed me I didn't know anything at all.

Those early days were difficult for everyone. I'd been sure I would never see Jane emotional again, but the very evening that girl came to live with us I saw her crumble. Though Jane had known of our master's passions, she never imagined it would actually turn into a marriage, moreover, a family. She was desolate, nothing I told her would make her calm down. She cried with the painfully dry sobs of our kind, and hour after hour she shouted into the air, breaking things and pulling her hair. Then she set off running to the city, where she tortured and killed at least ten people just to ease a little of her pain. Both girls cried and screamed that day, one because she wasn't loved, the other because she was.

I fold the scarf carefully and tuck it inside my cloak. She has so many she won't notice one is missing. I leave the room and go back to the pretending. Our lives are elaborate deceptions, you know? But at least our lies help us to deal with everything. Jane can pretend she's not bleeding inside, the girl can pretend she doesn't hate this life and every single one of us, and I can pretend I don't love _her_, the most forbidden of all women, that my feelings aren't eating me and that I have no hidden desires. As I walk I try to push the thought out of my mind.

_I'm in love with Alice._


	26. Caught

**Hello! So, who's Alice's secret admirer? So far I've read six theories. Some of you have already hit it. Good job! But no, not telling! You'll have to wait. It'll be worth it.**

**Hands up everyone who thinks that Math is a useless, boring, stupid thing!**

**Enjoy!**

**XOXO**

**Caught**

"What the fuck have you been telling my son!"

I spit the words without thinking. Aro and the others raise their eyebrows at my interruption and choice of language. I couldn't care less.

Early this morning Sebastian came to see me. I opened my arms for him, but instead of running to them as he usually does, he walked warily.

"What's the matter, darling?"

"Mama… do you… do you still want me to die?"

It was like I'd been hit. "_What?_"

"Yes. Do you want me to die?"

"Of course not! Why would I?"

"Papa said that you did not want me to be born. That you tried to kill me. That I am a nuisance for you. That you do not love me."

My blood boiled with fury. I kneeled to Sebastian's height, put my hands on his shoulders, and told him very clearly.

"Listen, Sebastian. Do not believe a word of what Papa says. When you were born, well, it wasn't easy for me. I won't deny that. But, honey… you mean the whole world to me. You're everything in my life. If I lost you, I'd die, ok? Don't ever, ever think I don't love you. You're anything but a nuisance, you're my treasure, my baby, my sky, do you understand?" I hugged him. "I really love you."

"I love you, too, mama. I just was afraid you hated me for… for what Papa does to you."

"Papa is Papa and you are you. Nothing is your fault. You're the only thing I love in the entire world."

"Not true. You love Jasper."

"Well," I couldn't help laughing. "Yeah. But it's a different kind of love. You'll understand it when you grow up. Now go with Jane and make yourself handsome for tonight's party."

"Where are you going?"

"I need to talk to your dad."

I open the door and he stops me.

"Mama?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Be careful. Papa is dangerous."

Do I need to be having this kind of conversation with my four-year-old son? Shouldn't he be playing instead of wondering whether his mother loves him? Shouldn't he ask me to get him a toy instead of to be careful because his father is dangerous? That's why I interrupted Aro's meeting. I don't care if the world falls down, he's so not poisoning my son against me again.

"Excuse me? What is it that you are asking?" says Aro.

"I said, What. The. Fuck. Have. You. Been. Telling. My. Son!"

"The truth. He wanted to know how it was like, when his mama was expecting him. I only told him what he asked."

"You had no right to do that!"

"Of course I do. I am his father."

"And I am his mother!"

"Exactly. You should have protected him since the beginning. Three times, Alice, three times in two weeks I caught you trying to get rid of the baby you expected. God knows how many more there were. It is me who should be angry, don't you think?"

"You? You? Please."

"Do not use that tone. Imagine the example you are giving our child."

"The example? How can you say anything about examples? Aro, please, he has seen you _raping_ me. And you have the nerve of talking about examples?"

One of the guards asks softly if we want to talk privately. Aro ignores him. Instead, he walks towards me. He looks at me, up and down. And, of course, he slaps me across the face. The blow echoes around the hall. The guard is frozen; they all knew he beats me, but no one had actually seen it.

"This is the last time you talk to me this way. I can, and will, tell Sebastian anything I want. I am his father, and that gives me all the rights in the world. You are nothing compared to me, absolutely nothing. If you ever, ever have this attitude again, you will regret it. You know me, Alice, I am not a man of bluffing, if I say you will regret it, then you will. After all, it is not my fault that you tried to kill your son."

I look straight at his eyes. "And it is not my fault that you killed your daughter."

I turn around and run, leaving the very much alive monster behind me.

After our argument I don't see Aro until nightfall. I'm finishing my make up when he comes into the room.

"You look beautiful," he says.

I do like my appearance. Signor Ruggiero is a wizard, and this long, blue dress does wonders to my body. I'm excited to imagine what Jasper will think when he sees me. Ooh, I am planning something for tonight; Jasper will not escape alive. But while that moment arrives Aro comes to stand behind me and puts his arms around my waist.

"You will dazzle them all,"

And, suddenly, he pulls me to him, a pressure that is almost painful. "Do not think I have forgotten your little scene of this morning. Be very, very careful, Alice."

"Let me go," I say. He's really hurting me now.

"No, I won't. Until you understand what your place here is, and apologize for what you did today."

Whatever makes him take his hands off me. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again. Please, forgive me." I'll come up with something new tomorrow.

"Much better," he says, his anger vanishing like vapor. "Now, happy birthday."

He takes a box from his cloak and opens it. It contains a net, a delicate net of gold threads and minuscule diamonds. He fastens it around my head. The jewels intertwine with my hair, making it look like a cascade of black silk and gold. The effect is beautiful to say the least.

"Thanks," I say.

He kisses my cheek and leaves. A second later Sebastian comes in. He looks so cute! It's the first party he's allowed to attend to, and he's wearing his new black suit. The blue of his little tie matches my dress. His curls are -for the first time ever, I think- thoroughly washed and combed, arranged in fine rings.

"You look totally handsome, frog."

"No! I look like a penguin."

"Penguins wish they were so beautiful," I tell him, planting a huge kiss on his cheek and messing his hair. I suddenly realize this is exactly how Jasper must have looked like when he was Sebastian's age. I laugh out loud at this, and hug my child until Jane and Alec appear to announce the guests' arrival.

"Hurry up," she says.

I open a drawer to take a blue silk shawl. When I move my scarves I notice something.

"Jane, have you taken my purple-and-blue scarf?"

"Why would I? What do I want it for?"

I look at her, and know she's right. In four years I haven't seen her wear anything but black. Black cloaks, black blouses, black shoes. The dress she's wearing tonight, black shiny sequins, is already quite a change in her usual wardrobe. She's been happier these days, using softer, shinier shades of black, but I don't think her enthusiasm can reach far enough to make her wear colors, and even if she did I'm sure she can afford her own stuff.

"Yeah, Jane, I'm sorry. It's just that… I liked that one. Well, sooner or later it will appear."

She rolls her eyes and we go downstairs.

It seems the whole of the vampire high society is congregated in this castle right now. They're all nice, and bring beautiful presents. They seem fascinated with my son and can hardly believe that I'm turning twenty-three. Another of their interests is Paloma. Word has quickly spread about her story with Ulises's coven. 'The Story of the Spanish Carnation', they call it. And tonight she certainly looks like a carnation, showing all the splendor of her beauty in a red dress. This is her last night with us, and I'm happy to see she's enjoying it. Somehow, she's managed to get me a present, too.

"It's a necklace, see? It's one half of a butterfly. I've got the other half," she shows me the gold chain around her neck. "That way I'll always have something yours, and you'll always have something mine. It's a reminder."

"Of what?" I ask her.

"What do butterflies do?" she asks back.

"Fly?"

"Exactly. They fly. And so will we."

Wordless, I hug her.

"You've taught me lots of things," she says softly. "I'll never forget them. And I hope that the next time we meet, we'll both be truly free."

The moment I fasten Paloma's necklace around my neck I see the Cullens. They're all glorious in their dresses and suits. I run to hug them all.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart," says Esme, stroking my hair.

"Big girl now, huh?" laughs Emmett. After a quick glance at Aro, who's talking to Siobham, the leader of an Irish coven and doesn't have a hope of hearing, I laugh, too.

As always, I save Jasper for last. His hug is conventional, social, almost cold, but the moment his skin touches mine the sparks are almost visible. When Edward clears his throat -damn! I always forget his mind-reading thing- we separate. Then we hear a new voice.

"Jaspeeeeeer!"

They barely have time to recover from the shock when Sebastian is hugging Jasper's legs, his little face radiant.

"But he's talking!"

"How wonderful!"

"Marvellous!"

"Congratulations!"

Jasper kneels to Sebastian's height, unable to speak. He loves him as if he were his own, and I know he's just as happy as I am. He just doesn't find words, so he just holds him tight, tight, tight.

"Good evening."

Ah, of course, Aro can't let a happy moment go on so long without ruining it; he must have noticed all these exclamations and has finally come.

"Oh, hello, Aro. Nice party."

"Thank you, Rosalie. Hi, Jasper," he adds, looking down at my Jazz.

"Hello. Sorry about this, but I wanted to congratulate your son. I understand it was his birthday as well."

"Yes. It was." Aro turns to me, and doesn't look very pleased.

"Oh, Aro, come on," intervenes Carlisle. "Between friends there's trust, isn't there? And how old are you now, Sebastian?"

"Four."

"Four! You're a young man now." Sebastian smiles. Aro smiles as well, for when his son is flattered he's totally soft and helpless.

"We brought you both a present," says Jasper. Emmett hands him a tiny bundle that had been invisible in his massive hands. "I think you might like it."

He puts the bundle in my arms. There, wrapped in a soft cream blanket, is a tiny kitten. A little ball of fur, completely white and with scared blue eyes. Sebastian's face lights up at the sight of it.

"You once said you liked cats, and so we thought it would make a nice birthday present for both of you."

Sebastian couldn't be happier. I give him the kitten and he strokes its fur, satisfied. Then Esme addresses Aro.

"Can we borrow him for a while? We love this kid. We'll play with him and the kitten in the garden."

"Sure, Esme. Alice, come with me, there are some friends who are dying to meet you."

Rosalie and Esme leave with Sebastian while Aro drags me with him. I play my role for a while, but soon my eyes find Jasper's again. There's something I want to do. Like he did to me at the other party, I guide him out of the hall. He follows obediently, and we start an exchange of not too chaste emotions.

"Come. Come, come. Come here," I tell him once we're outside.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Just come. Trust me."

The garage isn't too far. Once we're there I lead him to The Van. I've only been there twice: when I conceived Sebastian, and when Aro found me in Volterra after visiting Jasper. Not very nice memories. But I've decided to get over them. I have to.

"What? The car?" asks Jasper when I open the door of the backseat and pull him inside with me.

"Yes."

"You want to do it on the backseat of a car?"

"Yes."

"Some old fantasy?"

Can I tell him what this van means to me? What has happened on this backseat? That I desperately need a good memory here to stop being so stupidly terrified of a car? Hm…

"Yeah. You could say it's an old fantasy. Like in _Titanic_." Ok, I can't.

"I like it."

I accommodate myself on the leather seat and pull him on top. He looks at me, then kisses my forehead.

"One," he whispers. He kisses my cheek. "Two." My jaw. "Three…" he leaves kisses all over my body, all kinds of kisses that he counts. "Eighteen," he finally says, kissing my stomach. "Eighteen years old. My very personal gift for you." He moves up and touches my lips with his five quick times. "Twenty-three, that you are supposed to be. And a bonus," he says, adding a long, long kiss. After that we give in to our much repressed desire.

It's so different, so utterly different than the other time I was here… With Jasper, surrounded by the sweet-smelling leather, I feel I'm inside a nest, warm, safe, beautiful. I do have to fight the old memories, always ready to launch themselves at me, but it's easier than I thought. I almost laugh when I imagine what Aro would think if he knew his wife is cheating on him inside his most precious car, but then I lose my train of thought. Thinking and having intimacy with Jasper are two completely opposite activities, unless I count thinking of how I like this and how I wish it never ended. He's gentle with me though I know the abstinence has almost driven him crazy, and I thank him for that. Despite my own needs, well, this van and I have a rather violent story, and now more than ever I need sweetness and comfort. Jasper, as if by telepathy, knows this, and provides me with what I need, without, of course, forgetting the passion.

His lips are so sweet… And his hands are too big for my rather petit body; his palm is already almost half my back. But I like that, I like that even with the difference in sizes we fit perfectly with each other, we're shaped into each other's body. We drown ourselves in this. All I can notice is a whirl of blue satin, black leather, and brown curls. Our desire increases by the second. I hold on to him for dear life, kissing and touching him with the same ardor he does with me; in this moment he's the only real thing in the world. Suddenly, I hear a tapping on the window.

"All right, you two, get out of there this second."

We jump, terrified. When I sit up the one I see is Marcus. He doesn't look happy at all.

"Don't you hear? Get out, both of you! Now!"

He turns around so we can dress. I button Jasper's shirt and fix his tie the best I can; then he helps me with the zipper of my dress. We get out of the van, still arranging our clothes, and follow Marcus into his studio. He stares at us and we look down, like scolded children.

"_Are you suicidal!_" he shouts. "Do you have any idea of how dangerous that was? Do you know what would have happened if you had got caught? If I hadn't been the one to find you, but Jane? Aro himself? Are you conscious of how utterly irresponsible you were?"

"Sorry," we whisper.

"Sorry doesn't change things. I can't believe you are so imprudent. I thought better of you, Alice. Now tell me, how long has this stupidity been going on?"

"Ten months, more or less."

"Ten months? Wait... that child you were expecting..."

"Aro's. I know for sure. Remember you let me go out that day? I went to see Jasper. That was the first time we... _this_, and when I was walking home Aro found me and... you know the rest."

"Christ," says Marcus, running his hands through his hair. "You truly are suicidal. Or plain stupid. You, boy! How could you risk her like that?"

"I… I… I love her."

"Some lover you are. Don't know that if my brother found out he would go crazy? For you it would be easy, he would just kill you, but for her… He'd give her the beating of her life, that's for sure. He probably wouldn't kill her, because what would truly destroy her is seeing you dead and staying alive. You've only seen a part of what he does to her, but you have no idea of what it really is like. She spends weeks in bed, recovering after he beats her. How can you say you love her, when you're throwing her to the wolves? Do not look at me like that! You know it is the truth.

"So! You are aware of the risk you're taking," we nod. "Aro will kill everybody implicated if -when- he finds out." we nod. "Listen, guys, I strongly advice you stop this craziness. It is not worth it. Oh, Alice, please, do not cry."

"We love each other."

"That is exactly the problem. But if you really love each other, save each other's life. End this."

"We can't," says Jasper while I shake my head. "We can't."

"Well, then. If you still decide to continue this, your problem. I will not say anything to your husband, Alice. It will not take him much longer, anyway. But he will never hear it from me. That is all I can offer you."

"It's enough. Thanks."

"Ok. Now go. Careful, you can't be seen together or you'll raise suspicions. And Jasper, for God's sake, wash your face. You've got red lipstick all over. Come here."

He leads Jasper to a small bathroom. While he cleans himself I ask Marcus.

"And how… how did you find us?"

"Ah, Alice. _You couldn't have been louder!_ I was outside the garage and I could perfectly hear all your little noises. You were even shaking the car! Actually, it will be a miracle if no one else heard you. Please, do be careful. That kid needs his mom, ok?"

"Yes, Marcus. I'm sorry."

"All right, then. Go back to the party."

"Yes. Bye. Bye, Jazz. Love you."

"Love you, too."

I leave the study. Aro is nowhere to be seen, and from what Edward tells me he's been gone for a while. Instead of going to find Jasper and finish what we were doing, which is what I want, I go chat with the Denali clan. The words Marcus said are now carved in my mind. _It will not take him much longer._ He's already noticed a few things. He knows there's something going on.

How much time do we have left?


	27. Butterflies

**Hi hi hi! This**** must be the longest Author Note in history, but I beg you to read it.**

**I want to thank someone from the bottom of my heart. siobhan2006 had the beautiful detail of recommending **_**Hope**_** in her blog, http:/ www**(dot)**twilightbetweenthesheets**(dot) **blogspot**(dot)**com/?zx=1202c90dc9f3a940.**

**J****ust in case the URL doesn't work (if so, it's on my Facebook): **

**First a summary of the story****. There's just one thing I want to make clear: she mentions suicidal thoughts. If you find any here in **_**Hope**_**, they weren't intentional. I didn't conceive my Alice as a suicidal person, so any of that stuff is accidental. Anyway, then she says:**

"**This story in my opinion is one of those that I believe deserves way more reviews than what it has gotten. The reader is left hanging on to the edge of their seat practically yelling at Alice to take her son and run (…) Her pain feels so real and it's like the reader can relate to her in ways. (…) I love the way the story is drawn out and I think the Author does a great job in portraying the characters. (…) This is one of my most favorite scenes:" quote of chapter 18, Angels, the McDonald's bit**_**. **_**Then: "Go on and read this story and leave her some love. She deserves it :)" and the story's URL**_**.**_

**Let me tell you that this is one of the most beautiful things anyone has ever done for me. Usually I'm laughed at for being such a Twilight fan; the fact that I write Fan Fiction is one of my best-kept secrets. Therefore, that not only I'm not bullied, but **_**recommended**_**, that there's someone telling others that what I do is worth reading… well, you can imagine, it means the world to me. So, thank you, thank you, thank you.**

**And, people, what kind of world are we living in? Did I tell you that they tried to break into my apartment two weeks ago? I was home from school, 2:30 pm, my mom was at work and I'd just taken a shower when I heard someone forcing the door. Thank goodness we have a strong lock****. I called my mom, and she called the police and that was it, but, argh! Do we really need things like that?**

**Ok, ok, I'll shut up now. As always, please, R-E-V-I-E-W.**

**Enjoy!**

**XOXO**

**Butterflies**

After a few minutes with the Denali clan I go to the garden to look for my son. He's lying on the grass, or, better said, tackled by Rosalie, who's tickling him and has him roaring with laughter.

"Mama!" exclaims Sebastian as soon as he sees me. He runs toward me.

"Hello, sweetie. Having fun?"

Sebastian nods. "Aunt Rosalie has promised to get me a new set of color pencils if I take good care of the kitten."

"Then do so, darling, and I'll get you a notebook to draw."

Sebastian's face lights up. Ever since Patrizia made him draw during his therapies he became quite fond of it, and spends hour after hour immerse in his pictures. He's very good, let me tell you, much better than any other kid his age. Based on the few things I could guess in Patrizia's face while she observed him I think those drawings have a meaning. You'll think I'm an awful mother, but I'd rather not know what it is. We go into the hall again and join the rest of the Cullens. Jasper is with them, and it takes all my strength not to drag him back to the garage. We smile shyly and try not to even look at each other.

It's when I turn around that I spot them

"Oh God. No way."

"What?" asks Jasper worriedly, abandoning all pretense of not being interested in me.

"My parents!"

"What's the matter with them?"

"They're here! _My parents are here!_ How on Earth…?" Right behind them, on his way downstairs, is Aro, smiling widely. Of course.

"You did come!" he cries. "Wonderful!"

My parents turn nervously to him. They seem shocked, or maybe dazed by all this unbearable beauty. Aro walks toward them while Jane, quite literally appearing out of nowhere, is already leading them inside the hall.

"We're so glad you could come," she says gently, and a beautiful smile appears on her pretty face. My parents look more dazzled, if possible. I begin panicking, but soon calm down thanks to Jasper. Esme holds my hand as the people to whom I owe all my suffering finally reach me.

"Alice, honey, happy birthday," says my mother, hugging me. I don't hug her back.

"Surprise, surprise," sings Aro, evidently delighted by this new game of his. "Alice, love, I thought you would like to be with your parents, you had not seen them in so long. Now the entire family is together, are you not happy?"

"Yes, Aro, I am. Thank you."

"We brought these for you," says my father. "We hope you like them."

Shoes. The kind with terribly pointy high-heels I love to wear. For a moment I'm moved because they still remember that detail, and all the complexes I used to have with my height.

"They're great. Thanks."

"And this, too. We thought you'd like to have this with you."

He hands me a bag and I fight desperately not to cry. I recognize the two objects immediately: the teddy bear I used to sleep with until the night before I got married and my photo album, where I kept images of almost every second of my life. These are pieces of a life that's never coming back, but having them now makes me feel a little of the despreoccupied happiness of those days. I then feel an unexpected wave of comfort. I don't need to turn around to know that Jasper has detected my nostalgia and is trying to soothe me. Bless him. Always there when I need him.

Felix takes the stuff and I try to incorporate my parents to the party, ignoring the whispers that can't believe the presence of yet more humans. My parents are oblivious to this fact. I introduce them to the Cullens, who greet them so politely you can barely notice the flames in their eyes. Paloma is the one who just can't hide her feelings. Her greeting is cold, her Spanish fierceness palpable.

"What's the matter with her?" asks my mother when Paloma leaves.

"She was forced into a relationship, too. But she's an orphan, that's why she had no other option. And she can't understand how you can not be orphan, and still have no other option."

My bitter speech is interrupted when they start talking to my son. He's sweet, and polite, though almost as distant as Paloma. When Jane takes him to bed -the obsession she has with not disturbing his routine!- my mother asks,

"Does he have any particular tutoring?"

"No, why?"

"He speaks so, I don't know, fluently, gracefully. Such vocabulary. And so proper and polite."

"That's just the way he is. He's got a lot from his father, though."

That's true. Sebastian speaks with words and accent that don't belong with a four-year-old child. Listening to Aro has made him that way. Their voices already resemble each other, when Sebastian grows up they'll be identical. It horrified me at first, but I learned to see the charm of it. I only have to make sure the elegant language is the only thing my son inherits from his father.

The rest of the party goes on with no major incidents. I don't get another chance to see Jasper, but it's better this way. Safer. Natalia walks around, playing her gypsy tricks and charming everyone by reading their hands, or tarot. When the guests finally leave, they all look pleased and satisfied. I must admit, I'm happy myself.

"So, did you like your party, love?" inquires Aro.

"Yes, Aro, thank you. It was beautiful."

"And did you like seeing your parents?"

I hesitate before answering. "Yes."

"Good. Now, I have another gift for you. But I am going to let you choose what you want. So tell me, what would you like? A new car? Jewellery? Anything you want, I'll give it to you."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

Let's see… I'd like the divorce. And the custody of my child. And, if possible, your death. Wait. There _is_ something I want very, very much. I try to find courage and speak.

"Well, um," this is my chance and I don't want to ruin it. I think carefully and select my words. "I… would… like… to… to go back to school. You know I would be very careful," I add quickly. "I would never betray you. I'd be discreet. I'm four years behind but I know I can catch up. Please. Let me go back to school."

Aro's eyes study me for a long time. Finally, his lips move.

"Alice. Life would be so much easier if you weren't so intelligent. But why, why do you ask me the one thing I cannot give you?"

"But why not?" I ask, already fighting tears.

"It is not possible. It simply isn't. I could have someone tutor you, if you want. But attending a school is definitely out of the question. And, besides, what do you want school for? You already know a lot, you like to read and speak some languages. You have this house, fine clothes, money. You don't need to study, or to have a career. Do not make that face, sweetheart, it breaks my heart. It is better this way, ok?" he strokes my cheek and plays with the jeweled net in my hair. "Instead, think of anything else you would like to have and let me know tomorrow. Now, let's move on to happier matters."

He starts kissing me. With a sigh, I undo the zipper of my dress for the second time this night.

Next morning Sebastian and I go to the garden to play with Butterscotch, the kitten. The garden of this castle is enormous, and just as delicately beautiful as its owners. Trees and flowers and even a small lake. A gorgeous place indeed. I sit on the grass and watch my child have fun with the flowers, the birds, and the pretty kitten that's now yet another memory of Jasper. I take some photos for the album Aro, Jane and I have been putting together to remember Sebastian's childhood. Then, in the distance, I spot someone approaching us. Marcus. He sits beside me and sighs.

"Alice, you know we have to talk about what happened last night."

I look at him and down. "Yes."

"You do realize the danger you're putting yourself and him in."

"Yes. But I can't help it. Marcus, I love Jasper more than anything in the world. If I didn't have him I'd go crazy."

"I can see that. You know I have a talent to see relationships. I don't know how, but you managed to fool me for almost a year. You hid your love too well, and I guess that's what has kept you alive. Yesterday, however, I got a very interesting perspective of your relationship with Jasper. I must admit, I'd never seen a bond so strong. You two adore each other. And, well, as suicidal as all this is, I guess I'm happy for you."

"Really?"

"Of course. You deserved it, honey. You deserved someone who felt such devotion for you. And tell me, what attracted you to him?"

"Everything," I smile. "I met him when Aro invited the Cullens here. He was so kind to me. I needed love, just a little bit. He gave me tons. I was desperate for someone who cared for me, someone who could protect me, someone for whom I meant something. And he's much more than that. More than I could ever ask for. He loves me, and loves Sebastian. He's giving me all his comprehension and support, and I… I just can't believe he set eyes on me. I know he's risking his life, and he knows it, too, yet he's willing to do it all for me."

"Yes, he is. It's impossible to separate you, you're too united and in love. That's good, it will make you strong. Like I said last night, I will keep your secret. Don't ask me for more because Aro would be able to detect it. I truly don't understand how Jasper has got away with it all this time. You have my discretion and my silence."

"Thank you so much, Marcus. But, tell me, why do you help me? I mean, Aro and you have been together for millennia, you've been through so much, shared so much. I'm nothing compared to that. You could very easily be on his side, like Caius, or Jane, or Demetri, or so many others, yet you've chosen to help _me_. Why?"

"There are many, many answers to that question. Well, first of all, Caius supports him because he'll support anything that can make humans suffer. Don't take it too personal. Jane supports him because that girl has been in love with my brother for five hundred years, ever since he changed her, and he's the only one who does not see it. And everyone else, it's not that they're on his side, they're just too scared to defy him. They are the guard, entirely disposable, so evidently they'll try to keep him happy at all costs. But I can do whatever I want, and, though I don't have anything special against or in favor of humans, I am very fond of you, you're sweet, and pretty, and a wonderful mother. That Aro is practically my brother and we've been together for thousands of years does not blind me to his cruelty to you. It's most unfair. Also, I-" he stops abruptly.

"Yes?"

"Well, it's only that- no, you'll hate me if I tell you."

"Marcus, my entire capacity of hatred has been used up, and not with you. Go ahead, I promise not to hold any grudge."

"Ok. Well, you see, the main reason why I help you is that this life you're tied to is my fault."

"What do you mean?"

"I was the one who pointed you out to Aro. You see, one day, four years ago, we were walking down a street. It was the time when classes in all schools ended, so the place was crowded and no one noticed us. While we walked, we discussed women. He, anti-human as he is, was trying to convince me that there was no human woman that could be described as beautiful. He insisted that since their beauty grows old and fades, it doesn't really exist, so human beauty was impossible. I, on the other hand, had met many beautiful human women, and argued intensely with him.

" 'Show me one human woman, one, that can make you stop and look at her by just walking by, and I will believe you,' he said. 'So, tell me, which one? Which human can dazzle a vampire?'

'That one,' I said, pointing at a young girl on the other side of the street. She was small, and slender, with jet black hair and skin as pale as ours. Aro just couldn't take his eyes off her. They followed for a long time as she walked." Marcus sighed again. "I guess I don't need to tell you who that girl was."

"Me," I whisper.

"Yes. It was you. After that day he became obsessed with you. When he first approached you, when you first noticed him, he'd already been watching you for a month. He already knew what you liked, what you didn't like, where you went and when, where you lived. He knew what you did, what you were doing, and what you were about to do. Then he began courting you and… you know the rest. There isn't a day when I don't wonder what would have happened if I had never argued with Aro and chosen you to shut him up."

I don't know what to say. Of course I don't blame Marcus, who knew Aro would react that way. But I can't help feeling frustrated: if only he hadn't said that, if only he had picked another girl, any other, then now I would be free. I would have finished school, I would have had a normal boyfriend, someone who liked me and whom I liked, I wouldn't have become a mother at fourteen, I… so many things. But then again, if I had never come here I wouldn't have met Jasper. That must be considered, he's the love of my life. But I'm too confused right now. The only thing I can do is soothe Marcus.

"It wasn't your fault. You didn't tell Aro to hurt me, you cannot be blamed for his madness. Don't worry, I could never hate you after everything you've done to help me."

He looks relieved. "Thank you so much, Alice. And now, let's go into the house. Paloma is about to leave."

I take Sebastian and we return to the castle. Paloma has followed her plans, today she's leaving for Barcelona, where Natalia has already made arrangements for her. When I see all her stuff packed and ready I realize how terribly I'll miss her.

"Promise me we'll keep in touch," I say, hugging her.

"Of course. As soon as I'm properly settled I'll let you know. I hope I can see you really soon."

"Me too."

"And don't forget the butterfly, ok?"

I smile. "I won't. I promise."

Then she addressed Sebastian.

"You stay this handsome, Sebs. And don't forget I love you."

"I love you, too, Paloma. Don't forget me."

"Never, darling."

Demetri is driving her to the airport. I stay there until the car has disappeared in the distance. The dove has flown.

**It's 12:05 am! I'm celebrating TWO YEARS since I began reading Twilight for the first time ! Whoo hoo !**


	28. Siberia

**Hello, guys! First time I post something after less than a week since the last chapter. I've been rushing to get this one and the one for The Baby Chronicles on time. The reason is, my country is taking a five-day holiday due to the celebrations of our Independence Day. On September 15****th**** we celebrate 200 years since the war started. Since it's 200 years the government has been stalking us and wasting million after million since 2008. I mean, who pays almost four million dollars for a **_**statue**_** when the nation desperately needs schools, hospitals and security? Bah. But at least I get a three-day break from school, and, after all, any excuse is good to go crazy, dance, since, drink, eat, pray, love. I just didn't want to make you wait two weeks, so I decided to work overtime instead.**

**Watch out for the Mexican parties in your countries, they're bound to be fun!**

**VIVA MÉXICO !**

**Enjoy!**

**XOXO**

**Siberia**

"Oh, but you look so like him here."

"Really?"

"Yeah, just with dark hair. But the eyes, the eyes are exactly the same ones. And the smile. So cute."

I laugh. I do look like a female Sebastian in that photo; I was four years old myself back then. Jasper laughs with me at the mini me in a Halloween costume. I close the album and leave it on the table next to the bed, then cuddle closer to Jazz. He covers me with the sheet and kisses my head. As usual, he caresses my back absently while my fingertips draw patterns on his perfect abs.

"I'm so glad you could come," he says. "I was going mad, all this time without you."

"So was I. And after what happened in the car, worse."

"Yeah. So you didn't have problems with Marcus because of that? Wow."

"I know. He's been so kind to me all this time, now helping us both. I owe him."

I sigh and he kisses my head again. Three days after the party, I have finally managed to come to see my Jasper. It's, as always, just amazing. He's a wonderful lover, but also my best friend; I brought the album my parents gave me at the party and he's just charmed to see me when I was a child.

"But I prefer you now," he says. "Much sexier."

He kisses my cheek and slowly moves down to my lips. He touches me softly, but I hold his face and continue the kiss. I hear his breath faltering as he reassumes his position on top of me. I hold on to him for dear life and then I don't think anymore.

When I get home I find Sebastian with Alec. This surprises me; Alec has never had much contact with us.

"Hi there, Alec. And your sister?"

"Went to run an errand for Aro. She'll be back soon. Don't worry, your kid is safe with me."

I smile. "Yeah, I know. And Aro?"

"No idea. But here, take your child, he doesn't accept this poor replacement of a nanny," he says, gesturing to himself. I laugh. He can be so sweet sometimes… I take Sebastian and leave.

"Do you know where your father is?"

"No. I have not seen him all day."

Well, better for us. We go upstairs and play with Butterscotch until Marcus knocks at the door.

"Aro requests your presence in his study, Alice. Jane will be here in a minute to look after Sebastian."

I kiss my son's head and get up. Before I leave the room Marcus stops me. He takes a lock of my hair and sniffs it, then leans forward and sniffs my shoulder as well.

"Alice, for God's sake, at least change clothes. You smell of _him_."

I do as told, adding perfume to disguise the scent the best possible. Once I feel ready I go downstairs.

Aro greets me with a smile. He looks rather pleased, who knows what he has been up to.

"Hello, sweetheart, sit down. Look, there is something I have to tell you. I am afraid I must leave. There is a problem to be solved in Siberia, and unfortunately I have to go myself."

_Yes! Yes! Yes!_ "All right. Um, how long will you be gone?"

"I'm not sure. At least a week. But during my absence the rules of this house will remain unchanged, ok? You will depend on Marcus, I have already given him instructions about you. I will be informed of everything you do."

"Yes, Aro. Could Jane-"

"Jane is coming with me, perhaps Alec as well. I'm taking Felix, but Demetri and the others have got instructions concerning you."

"As you wish, Aro. I promise I won't be any trouble."

I go back to my child's room, happier than I'd felt in months, and find him with Jane.

"Oh, hello, Alice," she smiles. Wow. She hardly ever smiles at me. Happy, isn't she? "Has Aro told you about his plans?"

"If you mean Siberia, yes, he has."

Sebastian looks at us questioningly.

"Your father and Jane are going to Siberia to solve something."

"When are you leaving?" asks Sebastian, sounding, to my surprise, sad.

"Tomorrow morning, honey."

"How long are you staying there?"

"I'm not sure. Could be two days, could be a month. I truly don't know."

He looks down; he adores Jane and will surely miss her. But then his face is bright again. "Will you bring me a white tiger's fur?"

"And a bear's, if you want, darling."

"Yay!" he exclaims, hugging her. I can only shake my head, laughing along with Jane.

They leave next morning early. Aro, Jane, Alec, Felix, Renata, Chelsea and two others. Quite a big group, I'm sure whoever gets this visit will think twice before doing what he did again. Luckily, I'm not that person. I have days of peace and quiet ahead of me. I take Sebastian for a walk -under Demetri's dutiful supervision, of course- and return by dusk. I put my baby to sleep and when I leave his room I see Marcus waiting for me.

"So," he says, "any plans for your Aro-free days?"

"Not yet. I'm not sure. Why?"

"Well, I thought that you would take advantage of your husband's absence."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you not want to visit… Jasper?" he whispers his name.

"Of course. But I heard Aro's dispositions about me, and I thought that everybody would be, like, really watching me."

"Oh, they are. But you seem to forget, my dear child, that I have just as much authority and power as Aro. Nobody would dare contradict me, or question what I say."

"Meaning?"

"Go to your Jasper. Spend the whole night with him. I'll look after you kid, and if anyone asks about you, I will tell them you are sleeping. No one can ask me for any explanation."

This is too good to be true. Way too good. I hug Marcus tightly and he guides through a hidden exit.

"Go have fun, girl. You deserve it."

I drive to the Cullens' and get there in half the usual time. Esme gets the door and looks surprised to see me.

"What's the matter, Alice, are you ok?"

"Yes, Esme. More than ok, actually. Is Jasper home?"

"Right behind you, my love," says a raspy voice while a pair of arms sneaks around my waist.

"Ooh, who do we have here?" asks Emmett, coming downstairs. "Good evening, Alice, what do we owe this most unexpected of visits?"

"Shut up, Emmett, you know she was here today morning." Emmett lets out a guffaw. "But yes, Alice, what's the matter?"

"Nothing. Aro left today for Siberia. He'll be gone for a while. Marcus has offered to cover for me, which means I can spend the night here. If that's ok with you, of course."

"Ok with us?" repeats Jasper. "Hm, let me see, this is… Totally And Absolutely Perfect! Welcome home, darling."

Everybody is really pleased to have me here tonight. We chat for a while until Jasper casually mentions it's sleep time for the humans. Finally. I go upstairs with him, deliberately taking my time with each step. He's patient, but when I close the door of his room it's barely a second before throws me onto the bed. I can feel all of his weight and it's very, very, very nice. He grabs my wrists and pushes my hands over my head while he growls into my ear,

"Brace yourself, gorgeous. This will be the best night of your life."


	29. A Day In The Life

**Guys, you will never believe this. I tried to post this story in and IT GOT REJECTED. They mentioned a lot of nonsense involving grammar, punctuation, blah, blah, blah. In the end they said that the topic was too strong because Alice had been raped before she was sixteen. Can you believe it? Sheesh…**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

**XOXO**

**A Day In The Life**

He keeps his promise to its highest point. The new sun finds me without a single minute of sleep.

"I love you," I whisper, mussing his honeyish curls.

"Thanks," he answers simply, and presses his head tighter to my chest. "It's so nice," he adds quietly after a pause.

"What?"

"Your heart. Like _dum-dum, dum-dum_. It's very relaxing. I love listening to it."

That's the cutest, most endearing thing he's ever done. I run my fingers through his hair, lightly massaging his scalp and he moans softly.

"If you only knew how that feels," he murmurs. I continue the caress while he sighs contently.

After a while I take one of his hands and examine it. In my opinion it's a beautiful hand –big, rough, experienced. Its feeling over my skin is always amazing. I stroke his knuckles and fingernails, then flip the hand over and look at the back of it.

"Interesting," I say, tracing its lines with my fingertips.

"What?"

"All the things this hand says about you."

He turns his head around and looks at me. "Psychic now, are we, honey?"

I laugh. "I've been learning. Did you know that Natalia was a gypsy when human? She knew all this stuff, and has been giving me some lessons."

"Cool. And what do you see?"

"Hm… this is the Line of Life," I show him. "It makes a wide arc toward the centre, see? That means you're mentally healthy, as well as physically."

"So I'm not a psycho, then. But, if it shows life, shouldn't it be really, really long?"

"This line doesn't show how long your life will be, but the quality and characteristics of it, its strength. It's quite marked, that's the impression you make on others."

"Wow. I'm beginning to like this. What else is there?"

"This one," I brush the line directly above Life, "is the Line of the Head. Mmh, it's rather straight. You're very good for business, logical, and practical."

"Not true. If I were logical, you wouldn't be here. This is dangerous, but the love I feel for you is totally irrational."

"Good point. But, hey, this is an art, not a science. Besides, there's a ramification right under your pinky, that's also business. And don't tell me it isn't true, because the other day Esme told me quite a few anecdotes about it."

"Fair enough, darling. Go on."

"It's connected to your Line of Life, that means you're very careful and united to your family."

"Too right. Tell me more."

"Now, this one…" I look at the third line, the one beneath his fingers. "Ooh, I do like it."

"What is it, love?"

"The Line of the Heart. This little ramification here says that you are comprehensive, loving, romantic. That's so true! You're sweet, and tender, and pretty and-"

"Pretty? But I'm a man! I am _not_ pretty!"

"Oh yes you are, sir. You're pretty and cute. Because I say so. Remember I'm the hand-reader here."

"That's what you think. But I have a few clairvoyant talents of my own, did you know that?"

"Really? What can you do?"

"I can read fingertips. I'll show you. These here," he shakes the fingers of the hand I've just read, "are obvious."

"What do they say?"

"They say: _I_," he moves one, "_Want_," he moves a second one, "_My. Aliceeee!_" he starts tickling me with all four fingers.

"Stop!" I cry, roaring with laughter.

"No!"

"Please!"

"Never!"

He continues his happy torture and then pulls me close for a kiss.

"Well, enough playing, young lady. Time to get up. Come on, get dressed. And don't make that face. My capacity of entertaining isn't all contained within these four walls, you know."

I sit on the bed and he lays a hand on my waist. Slowly, he approaches me and presses his lips to the small of my back. He goes all the way up over my spine, leaving a trail of little kisses on my skin.

"Jazz…" I murmur. He continues until reaching my shoulders and neck. "Jasper," I say again. "You really make it hard to believe anything about your capacities of entertaining." He chuckles and releases me. I get up and put on one of his shirts, which hangs to mid-thigh. Then I move to the big wall of glass, replica of the one downstairs, that shows the beautiful Tuscan view. Jasper drew the curtains earlier this morning so we could watch the sunrise, and now half of Volterra is covered by the Mediterranean sun.

"It's so beautiful," I sigh.

Jasper is suddenly behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Yeah. I used to stand here for hours and hours, just enjoying the view."

"Don't you do that anymore?"

"Oh, yes, of course. But now, when I watch the maze of streets, I don't just stand here. I wonder where you are."

Oh, I can see it perfectly, the place where I always am. Straight northwest, untouched yet by the morning sun, are the turrets of my castle, tall, elegant, graceful, perfect. It's a beautiful place, indeed, like taken out from a fairy tale. I can also spot the piazzas and markets I often visit. I don't point it out to Jasper, though, because for some reason I think that would only make him sad. Instead, I put my hands on his and let my head fall back on his shoulders, tilting it a bit so he can press his lips to mine.

He kisses me once more and takes me downstairs to have some breakfast, ignoring all the looks, the raised eyebrows and the winks as his family sees my outfit. After I've showered and dressed in my own clothes we take his car and go out, to the city. Though I'm worried about his being out in daylight it only takes a smile from his rough, full lips to make me trust him blindly.

Always seeking shadows, he takes me for a walk around the Roman Theatre, then we go to the Guarnacci Etruscan Museum, so full of history. I'd already come here once, with Aro, when he insisted on widening my historical and artistical culture, but visiting the same places with Jasper is a completely different experience, and it almost feel like the first time. Each bronze statuette in the museum's collection looks totally new when described by Jasper's manly, loving voice.

After that he takes me to an area of the city that's full of restaurants, coffee shops, and such. Though I tell him there's no point in going there, because he doesn't eat, he says that _I _do and that's enough, so he insists until I let him buy me some chocolate-covered marshmallows.

"But I feel awful, darling, eating while you don't."

"Believe me, you wouldn't like it if I ate something right now. Come on, sweetheart, open that pretty mouth." He takes a marshmallow. It's just been dipped in chocolate, which drips from the soft sugar and makes a mess of my lips and chin before I can properly bite it.

"Oh, look what you've done," I laugh.

He takes a napkin and pretends to wipe the chocolate from my face, but in fact he pulls me and kisses me. I twin my fingers in his hair and his dig into my waist. It's a while before we hear the throat-clearing. Our lips separate, and we meet the scandalized eyes of an old lady, who apparently can't believe we're making out in the middle of the street. Giggling, we continue our way.

After a while he motions me to stop. He buries his face in my hair and inhales deeply several times

"You smell… delicious," he finally says. "Delicious."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Of… sugar, and… coffee, and… caramel, and I don't know what else, but it's wonderful. Just delicious. I guess the aromas of the coffee shops stayed with you. Remind me to bring you here more often."

I like that he says that, it means we'll get more chances to have fun together. He buys me a giant teddy bear and a box of chocolates and before driving me back to the castle he takes me to the outskirts of the town to check exactly how fast his car can go. After the first minute of fearing for my life I enjoy the experience deeply. He teaches me how to play with the speed and get the maximum from my own car and after a few lessons he considers me ready. He drops me two blocks away from the castle. I'm still swimming in the memories of this perfect day when I find Marcus in a hallway.

"Well, well, well," he says. "Seems like someone enjoyed herself."

I look down, blushing.

"It's ok, sweetheart. That was the whole point. I did miss you, though. Don't get angry with me, but I'm glad you're back." He smiles.

"Thanks, Marcus. Any news?"

"Aro called during the night, but I told him you were already asleep, and he believed it. You're safe."

"Good. My son?"

"In his room. He behaved quite well. Not a tantrum, not a cry. You've educated him wonderfully."

"Thanks. I'll go see him now."

I knock at my child's door and open it. He's on the floor, playing with a little train.

"Hi, frog," I say, smiling.

My son stares at me for two seconds, then runs to me and hugs my legs with almost vampire strength. His little body starts shaking; it is then that I notice he's crying.

"Honey, darling, what is it, sweetie? What's the matter?"

"I… I thought… I thought you had gone away without me!" he sobs.

"Sebastian…" I sigh, and kneel to his height. "Sebastian, love, look at me. Look at me! Never, ever think I would go anywhere without you. I'd rather die than lose you. I was so imprudent in leaving yesterday! I shouldn't have. Please, baby, forgive me, I beg you."

Both of us are crying now. I can't believe I was so thoughtless to just go and forget my baby. Guilt crushes me as I realize I'm the worst of mothers. How could I leave my baby to go play around with a lover? Sebastian and I hug each other tightly, happy to be together again.

Later on, at night, Aro calls again. This time I'm there to speak to him, get instructions, and listen to an endless speech of how he loves me and misses our child. Jane asks me to put Sebastian on the phone and they talk for a while. When we finally hang up Sebastian climbs to my bed and curls next to me. I'm spending two nights in a row with the two loves of my life.


	30. A couple of eternities

**A couple of eternities**

Days went by, and still no signs of Aro. He called, he kept communication, but he didn't return. Apparently he had decided to go on a round of visits around Siberia, with friends he hadn't seen in centuries. His absence was a wonderful gift, and I thanked Life for it.

However, I couldn't visit Jasper again given that Demetri kept a close watch over me. Contrary to what could be thought when Aro wasn't home the vigilance got impossibly stronger, and though nobody noticed my vanishing for an entire night they weren't fools, either; since they weren't blinded by Aro's self-confidence and arrogance their intuition was at its sharpest. Demetri was the direct responsible of me, and he took his mission quite seriously. I managed to call Jasper and explain this to him, and he was just as pleased as I was. There was nothing left to do but swallow my impotence and wait.

Two weeks passed that way. The only interesting thing that happened was that Paloma called once to let us know she was doing fine in Barcelona and that she missed me and Sebastian. One afternoon, however, while I was lying on my bed, precisely remembering that one night with Jasper –his touch, his kisses, how we made so much love that I could feel it leaking through my pores during two days, the lack of sleep, how I always enjoyed to see him go from the quiet, reserved man everyone knew to the fierce lover that could start a fire inside me with just one look, when I heard a whisper in my window.

"Alice, Alice, wherefore art thou, Alice?"

"_Jasper!_" I whisper-screamed. "What the hell are you doing here? Can you imagine what would happen if-"

"Hush, my darling," he said calmly as he jumped into my room. "Since you have decided not to visit me, I've decided to visit you instead."

"Have you lost your mind! I've already told you what the situation is, and that I'm more watched when Aro isn't here. I've already told you! If someone sees you, it's your death and my getting beaten up. Get out! Out!"

His lips sealed my protests. Though we'd last seen each other just a couple of days ago it seemed like a couple of eternities and I soon found myself kissing him back. It was funny because I kissed him at the same time I tried to push him away, my need of him and my common sense fighting a fierce battle inside me.

"What if someone finds us?"

"No one will," he answered, his hands already reaching under my skirt.

"Jasper, this is suicidal," I murmured against his lips, shaking him off and securing his hands on my skin.

"Here," he said, falling on the bed and pulling me on top. "If you want to get off, you can."

Well, of course I didn't want to get off, that was exactly the problem! Within a minute I'd given up all fight and pretenses and could only rock back and forth over him. At first I kept glancing at the door in fear of someone coming is, but soon I forgot that as well. But right when we were enjoying the hell out of it someone knocked at the door.

"Alice? It's Gianna. I have Aro on the phone."

Argh! I forgot. The phone in our room had stopped working a week ago, so every time someone called it went to another line and they had to bring another phone all the way here and… ah.

"Shit!" I exclaimed. "Go! Quickly!"

"It's enough if I hide."

"No! You have to go! Now!"

He kissed me intensely while Gianna's voice called me again. Finally, I pushed him away.

"Ok, ok, I get it. You don't want to be with me," he said.

"Don't put it that way, Jasper. Of course I want you, but-"

"Whatever. To your relief, I'm leaving now. I won't call and won't come here again. Call or visit me whenever you get enough courage."

"Jazz, I-"

But he had already vanished.

I opened the door and Gianna seemed to believe my poor excuse about the lock being stuck. Thank God she was human. She gave me the phone and I heard Aro's voice.

"Hello, love, it's me, Aro. How are you doing?"

"Fine, thank you." _More than fine until you called, thank you_.

"How is Sebastian?" Aro continued.

"He, um, he went to the garden to draw. You know, he's making great progresses and I decided not to block his inspiration."

Aro chuckled. "Well done, honey. Listen, we are almost done with everything and will be returning sooner than we expected. I just wanted to let you know that, and to know about you both."

"Thanks. I hope everything went fine, whatever you were doing. Tell Jane Sebastian hasn't stopped asking when she'll be back, and he sends all his love."

He laughed once more, so he didn't hear the soft moan Jasper managed to get from me. "Ok. I will. See you soon, Alice."

"See you."

As soon as I hung up I growled loudly in frustration and let myself fall onto the bed again. Days went by really slow after that.

About a week later I still hadn't seen Jasper again and was almost out of my mind with boredom. In order to have something to do I wandered around the castle. I went to the garage and found Demetri working under a Ferrari I'd never seen before. As I said, Demetri was my official babysitter when Aro, Jane and Alec were all away. It bugged him just as much as it bugged me, but I at least could have the pleasure of annoying and pestering him whenever I got the chance. And that's exactly what I was about to do.

"Hello, Demetri."

"Hi, Alice."

I leaned against the black, glossy structure. "And this car? It's new, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"What are you doing to it?"

"Your husband asked me to improve the speed in this car. It's amazing, how humans build cars and sell them as the fastest possible when in fact the engines can give quite a lot more. This one, according to them, has a top speed of ninety miles per hour. According to me, it can reach up to 160."

"Wow," I whistled. "It really is fast. Congratulations. Did he tell you why on Earth he bought yet another car?"

"If he didn't tell you, then _I_ certainly won't."

"Ok. Can I go out?"

"No."

"Demeeetriii," I said in my best girly voice.

"No, Alice. And don't speak like that, you sound like a teenager."

"I've just turned eighteen."

He sighed. "All right, Alice. He bought the car for Jane and you're still not going anywhere. Happy now?"

"Yes," I nodded and smiled like a little girl. I loved to see his face when I behaved like that.

"Good. Now go away and let me work."

"Sure. See ya, Demetri."

Jane? Interesting. Last time I'd heard, she completely despised anything human-made. Had she had a change of heart or was it a surprise from Aro? I would soon find out, because short after our conversation Demetri went to the garden, where I was with my son, and said,

"Guess what, Lizzie? Your favorite person returns home tomorrow."

"What?"

"Your husband just called. They will all be back tomorrow."

"Lucky you. Your babysitting days are over."

He laughed. "For now."

And next day there they were, with smiles of satisfaction on their breathtaking faces and eyes redder than ever. The very first thing Jane did was wrapping Sebastian in the enormous fur she had brought, a white tiger's, just like he had requested.

"I hunted it myself for you, baby," she told him, and he hugged her.

She had him in her arms, rocking him as if he were a newborn baby, but he was roaring with laughter. It made me envious; each day Sebastian looked more like a vampire than a human and therefore he harmonized better with Jane than with me. Grr…

Aro was more than happy to see me again. Seeing such enthusiasm I could almost believe he loved me. It seemed he had truly missed me. That night, of course, he tried to be intimate with me. As soon as he touched me, though, I felt my stomach turning. It wasn't because of him, this was a genuine . I regretted having eaten all that cake in the morning. But I was so hungry! Anyway…

"Aro, I… I'm not feeling well."

"So?"

"Could you… could we… could I …? I mean, I'll be a disappointment to you tonight. What if I get worse?"

He looked at me, his eyes analyzing every inch. I already knew what would come next –he'd laugh, tell me not to be ridiculous, that he didn't care at all, and then he would-

"All right, rest. You do look ill. Do you want anything, any medicine?"

"No, thanks. I think I only need some sleep."

"Very well, then, I'll leave you in peace. Sleep well, little princess."

And just like that, he left.

It took a while before I could sleep. This had never happened before. He had never listened when I told him I wasn't feeling well. Something was going on, I was sure. He had to be planning something. And I would find out what it was.


	31. Butterscotch

**Hi there, my beloved ones. ****Hey, this is important. I want you to please search in Google or BreakingDawnMovie (dot) org a picture of Mackenzie Foy, our potential Renesmee. That is, if you still haven't memorized her life, told your mom you want your daughter to look like her and even opened a Facebook album with her photos, like yours truly has. It's not only that I want you to see how totally, totally perfect she is (though I do want you to); I need you to have her image very present in your head. You'll see why. Please? *puppy eyes***

**Enjoy!**

**XOXO**

**P.S. : I've just started to read Twilight in French, "Fascination" (?). Sooo cool !**

**Butterscotch**

_R__ing!_

_R__ing! _Pick up, pick up.

_Ring!_ Pick up.

_Ring! _Pick up. Please.

_Ring!_

_Ring!_

"Hello Jasper, it's me, Alice. Please, call me. I'm so sorry. I need you. Call me, will you? Please. I love you. Bye."

I hang up. Again. These days I've been calling Jasper and leaving messages at a rhythm of three or four per day. There must be at least thirty of them now. Still no answer. I can't believe he's still angry with me for what happened when he came here. After all, the visit was his bad idea, something that obviously couldn't work out. But his absence is killing me, every cell in my body aches for him. Doesn't he feel the same? When we are together I think he feels the same way I do, just as much love, desire, need. Then… what? Why does he refuse to talk to me? Even if it's only to tell me he doesn't want me anymore, I think I deserve to hear it directly.

No, but it can't be that he doesn't want me anymore. It can't. I try to push these ideas out of my head. I cannot think of him leaving me. He's my only hope; if he left me I'd die. No, it's impossible. And too early in the morning to start with worries. I decide to stop freaking out and head downstairs.

I head for the small kitchen and find, as usual now, Sebastian with Gianna, who's fixing breakfast for the three of us. Sweet Gianna. She deserves so much better than this place…

"Hello, people."

"Hello, mama."

"Good morning, Alice."

Whatever she's cooking smells delicious. Suddenly starving, I almost take the frying pan and eat right out of it. When I realize the lack of dignity of such action I assault a cupboard instead, finding a small tin of cookies that I attack mercilessly. Then I continue with a bag of chips and finally a doughnut.

"Hungry?" she asks.

"Ravenous," I tell her.

She laughs. Gianna and I, being the only humans here, have become friends. When Paloma was here, she joined us as well, and we actually had fun together. Right now we sit at the table with my son and the three of us share breakfast and jokes.

"And?" I ask her. "Do you have any plans for your future? I mean, I totally like you, but you can't stay here forever. You're continuously risking your life."

"So are you."

"Yes, but… Gianna, I once said this to Paloma, and now I say it to you: You're completely free to do what you want. Take advantage of that chance. There's nothing that can make you stay here."

"Well, actually…" she starts.

"What?"

"No, nothing," she says, but she betrays herself. Unconsciously, one of her hands slips down to her stomach.

"_No way!_" I exclaim. At first I don't know what to say, but then Gianna's whole face changes into a radiant, beautiful smile. She's bursting with happiness. "What does Demetri think?" I inquire.

"Oh, he's just thrilled. He never imagined something like this. I _was_ scared when I told him, I had no idea how he would react, but he was so happy, so proud!" Freely now, Gianna runs her hand over her belly.

"Congratulations! And when are we expecting this little angel for?"

"In six months. Still a long time."

"Oh, no. It isn't long at all. In these cases, six months seem like six minutes. But you'll see how it's worth it. Children give meaning to life."

We smile and keep discussing maternity until Aro arrives.

"Good morning. Hi, Alice. Today we are going out together. Be ready in the garage in thirty minutes. Gianna dear, Jane is gone on an errand, would you be so kind to look after Sebastian?"

"Sure, sir. It will be a pleasure." She smiles at Sebastian.

I sigh and start to get ready. I have no idea of what Aro is planning, boring at best. He seems excited, but that only increases my suspicions. He greets me with a kiss and takes my hand. It's then when I freeze.

"No, please," I say softly. He's leading me to The Van. Being there with Jasper didn't help at all; I'm just as terrified of the car as I've always been. Black and strong as my memories of it, the car stands ready to swallow me. "Let's use another car." I gesture at the other four vehicles in the garage

"It is just a ride, love. Unless…"

He looks me over and smiles. I know that smile. The horrifying kind, the kind always followed by any type of pain, the kind that haunted my dreams for months.

He pins me against the car, claws on my shoulders, holding me still.

"Not a bad idea at all," he says. "I cannot believe I have been home for almost a week and we still have not been together." He leans forward and I can hear him breathing in my scent. Terror is getting hold of me and suddenly I'm fourteen years old again and he's about to hurt me for the first time.

"Don't, please," I implore. "Let's just go wherever you were planning."

"Oh, be quiet. Do not fret. It is just a little… fun. For old times' sake."

Old times. Exactly what I've been trying to run from.

"Please, Aro. Anything else. Anywhere else. Anything you want, but don't do this to me, I beg you."

"If only you could see yourself now. You're so scared… You remind me of Butterscotch, you know? When I see our son playing with him I cannot help noticing how defenseless he is. So small, so fragile, and sometimes he hisses, believing himself dangerous. He thinks he is a scary tiger when he's nothing but a tiny kitten. A pet."

"Shut up."

Aro laughs quietly and kisses my lips. "Whatever you say, my love."

Behind me I feel his hand reaching to open the door to the backseat. And then I can't take it anymore. His touch and my memories are too much to bear. Nausea invades me and I can barely make it to a nearby bathroom on time. My whole body trembles with fear, and I'm sure I'm about to have a hysteria attack. Yet when I hear Aro's footsteps closer and closer I manage to get a grip on myself.

"Alice…" he starts.

"Leave me alone," I say, not even bothering to look at him.

"But-"

"Leave. Me. Alone." I shake harder and harder, my nails tapping against the marble floor. Tears are on their way, already stinging my eyes. I can't let him see me cry.

"Listen, I-"

"_Leave Me Alone__!_" I shout. My breath comes out in harsh gasps. Apparently Aro can feel my coming hysteria now, too. The moment he leaves I burst in uncontrollable sobs. I curl in a ball and rock myself back and forth, a motion that has always helped me to block away all thoughts and reason. Once more, it works.

"Jazz, it's me again. If you want us to break up, at least say so in my face." Pause. "Where are you?" Pause. "Call me. I love you."

I leave the umpteenth voice message and sigh. I feel better now; I've detangled my hair and applied makeup to my tear-swollen eyes. Back to my double face again. Everything will be fine. I decide to spend some time with my son and head for his room. On my way, though, something else catches my attention.

Down the hallway a door opens. I've always been curious; practice has enabled me to detect a good piece of gossip. This is one of those cases and so I hide behind a column to find out every single detail. Ha, I feel like a little girl with her new toy and… wait. Is that Aro? He's the one coming out of the room, and as he goes downstairs he fastens his cloak. I'm shocked. I know that cloak-fastening gesture, I've seen it a thousand times. It's the after-intimacy, back-to-normal cloak-fastening gesture. He's smiling to himself; the smile is exactly the same he has after being with me. There's someone else in there, I just know.

A minute later, as I expected, a woman comes out of the same room. A girl, actually. I don't think I've ever seen her before; I would surely remember someone so beautiful. She's small, maybe even smaller than me. Vampire, of course, because of how graceful she looks even leaned against the door, and because of the white skin of the legs her robe lets me see. This robe is certainly exquisite, red velvet, richly embroidered with scarlet threads. The contrast with her hair is breathtaking to put it mildly; a long, golden mane that falls tangled all over her back. She sighs happily: it's the voice of an angel. I examine her more carefully since I'm beginning to recognize her, and after my eyes study the joy in her face, the spark in her eyes I know who she is. I smile and a soft laugh comes out from my lips. She turns to me, her bliss replaced by fear. I grin even wider and disappear, allowing Jane to enjoy her moment.

I play with Sebastian and Butterscotch for about an hour before she knocks and walks into the room. Though she now has gone back to her eternal black clothes, she still hasn't fixed her hair in the usual chignon, so a golden cascade covers her back down to her hips. This is the very first time I see her hair loose; she looks so beautiful it makes me want to cry.

"Alice, could we talk, please?" Jane bites her lip and looks almost… wow, humble.

"Sure, Jane, tell me."

"Um… in private?"

Oh. She wants to discuss _that_. I kiss Sebastian's cheek and take Jane to my room.

"I feel I owe you an explanation," she says.

"Jane, you owe me nothing at all. You finally have what you deserve, what you've wanted your entire life. I'm glad for you."

"Really?"

"Yes, of course. You know that if it were for me, I'd gift-wrap Aro and give it to you right now. With a green ribbon."

She smiles. "Thanks."

"Just tell me, how did it start?"

"The day Sebastian talked for the first time. I had just put him to sleep when Aro arrived. We started to talk and… I guess it just happened. After that, well, we've been together almost every day."

"That's why he took you to Siberia."

"Alice, give me some credit, please. You, because you're an exception, but those who I have used my talents on can tell you why Aro rarely lets me out of his sight. Though, I admit it, he made good use of my skills as a woman as well as a torturer."

I can't help it –I laugh. "Are you happy now, Jane?"

"Yes. Listen, I know he prefers you to me, by far. I know that when he's with me he thinks of you. But I don't want him to leave it all for me. I just want to please him in every way I can, to satisfy his every need. And, well, I supposed there's a bit of selfishness in all this. I desired it, I desired him."

"You love him."

"Yes. He saved my life, and my brother's, I owe him our existence. He's such a wonderful man, Alice, fascinating, irresistible. There's nothing that he wants that he cannot get. All him is strength, determination, power. He was born a leader, the venom of a leader runs in his veins. If you could only understand what it is like, to have all the weight of a secret world, the responsibility of keeping it safe. He's the only one, besides Alec, of course, who I would trust with my life, who I would give it all for."

"You already do all that, Janette."

"I know," she laughs. "He… he is the only man in my life, you know? That night, when Sebastian talked, it was my first one ever." She looks down, half smiling, and I know she'd be blushing if she could. Sweet Jane, she looks like a teenager in love. Speak from experience. I wonder how she was like, when she was human.

"I can imagine, Jane. He's very special in your life. Don't worry about me, ok? Ever since this began between the two of you he's been much nicer to me, more considerate. I can't complain; having my husband cheating on me is the best that could have happened." Ha, now we're even. "Live this moment fully, have fun, and enjoy your Master. He must be about to arrive, I promise I'll do everything I can to send him over to you. Could you do me a favor and put Sebastian to sleep? Apparently that brings you good luck."

She laughs. "Of course, Alice. Thank you."

She seems sincerely grateful. In a sudden outburst, she puts her arms around me. Finally, someone I can hug without having to stand on tiptoes and pull the other person down! I pat her head, stroking her silky hair.

"It's ok. We'll both be fine," I whisper.

She leaves and, sure enough, two minutes later Aro walks through the door.

"Hello, honey. Are you feeling better?"

"Yes."

"Good, because I think we have a lot to catch up with."

Without a further word he presses his lips to mine, leaving a trail of kisses down my jaw, neck and collarbone. He pushes me onto the bed and lets all of his weight fall on my body. Unlike the time Jasper did exactly the same, the night we spent together, this is suffocating. Honestly, I don't understand what Jane sees in him, how she can desire someone like him.

"Can you stop being so difficult?" he asks.

"No."

"Come on, Alice, cooperate, just once."

"After what you did to me this morning? Why should I?"

"Because I am a man, I am your husband, and I paid for you. Three reasons for you to obey me."

"Nonsense. Go away. Go back to Jane."

He chuckles. "Ah, you are smart. Too intelligent and too pretty for your own good. But no, I will not visit Jane. If I was with her early today it was because you were feeling unwell. But you are the one I want right now. You are the one I want _always_."

Since I still try to resist he takes my wrists with one hand and pushes my arms over my head. The icy fingers of his free hand raise goose bumps all over my warm human skin. But he has only had the chance to undo the buttons of my blouse and run his hand over my torso when Caius calls him from the hallway. Aro continues with me, ignoring his brother's call. However, Caius insists. Finally, Aro lets out a not too nice word and gets out of the room. The second he closes the door I get properly dressed again, hoping that whatever Caius needs from him takes a long, long time.

A couple of minutes after he leaves my cell rings.

"Hello?" I say, and notice how tired my voice sounds.

"Oh, Alice, thank God!" _Jasper! _" I'm so sorry, darling, forgive me! We went hunting." _Jasper! _" We've been out all week, that's why I didn't get your messages. But I love you, honey, I really do, more than anything, I …"

Jasper! He still loves me! He still loves me! Relief is so huge I feel dizzy with it. I go to the window to calm myself with the air and almost laugh with joy.

"I was so worried when I heard you," he continues, talking at top speed. "I'm an idiot, I should have called you and tell you I was leaving. I'm so sorry!"

"Don't worry. I should have imagined something like that. It's just that when you left you were so angry with me, I thought…"

"Oh, no, never! Sorry about that, too; I was a total jerk. It was a tantrum Sebastian would laugh at. Am I forgiven?"

"There's nothing to forgive."

"Thanks. Hey, can you come tomorrow?"

"I'm not sure. I'll try."

"Great. I miss you, baby."

"I miss you, too. More than you can imagine. I really hope I can see you soon."

"So do I. But don't worry, don't rush; I don't want you to get in trouble because of me. Sleep now, honey, it's quite late. I just wanted to know you forgave me. I love you. Do you love me?"

"Of course. Of course, of course I do."

"Thanks. Dream of angels, sweetheart."

"Then I'll see you every single minute."

"Good night."

"Bye."

He loves me. He wants me. He remembers me. Too wonderful to be true. I smile in triumph.

"Who was that?"

Startled, I turn around. And the terror is so enormous I don't even have the strength to die. My eyes are locked, as if by a spell, to the crimson gaze of Aro.


	32. If only God knew

_**She was a pyramid**_

_**But now she's just a grain of sand**_

_**(…)**_

_**But he's so afraid of the light inside of her**_

_**That he keeps her in the dark**_

_**Oh, she used to be a pearl**_

_**Katy Perry, 'Pearl'**_

**If only God knew…**

"Who was that?"

How much did he hear? What did I say? Has he tracked my calls? How much does he know? Oh God oh God oh God! My dizziness returns, a hundred times stronger, his figure blurry as he asks again.

"Alice, who were you talking to?"

"It was… Paloma. Yes, it was her. She says hi."

"Paloma," he says softly. "Paloma, Paloma…"

I take deep breaths, trying to make my heartbeat behave. My lie was firm and confident, so there's no reason he should-

"Liar!" he roars. He hits me twice and I feel the thread of blood running down my chin. "That was a man, wasn't it? Don't lie to me!"

"I'm not! This is the truth, Aro, please, believe me."

"Shut up!" he takes me by the shoulders and shakes me violently. "Who do you think I am? The fact that you're stupid doesn't mean that I am. And I'm not. I know the voice you were using; that's a lover's voice."

"Aro, I swear it's not, I've done nothing, please, it's the truth."

"Don't bullshit me, Alice," he says darkly. The rage in his eyes makes him more vampire-looking than ever. "Tell me the truth, once and for all!"

"I already have. There's nothing else for me to say."

"Liar!" he screams again. He slaps me across the face a couple of times and then throws me against the wall, pressing me tight between it and his own body. He kisses my neck savagely and his hands move down to my chest.

"Take your hands off me," I growl.

"Make me."

"Let me go," I insist, twisting and writhing and trying to shake him off.

"I won't. What, Alice, are you keeping yourself for him? That's why it's been so impossible to fuck you these days, now I see. Who is he? Ah, I know, a stupid human boy who has made you believe he loves you. Surely you in turn have told him you're pure and white and clean. I expected better from you. But you are my wife, my toy, my pet, mine for me to do whatever the hell I want with you, either love you, beat you, adore you, rape you or kill you."

He continues kissing and fingering me despite my efforts to push him away. I then decide to fight him with words.

"No matter how hard you hurt me right now, how roughly you abuse me, you can't take back what has already been given."

The second I speak he stops. His diabolic eyes see into my very soul and deeper. He slaps me and throws me onto the floor.

"Damn you! You disgust me."

"Now we're even."

"Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up! Damn you, a thousand times!"

He gets lost in frenzy and showers me with blows. He's so lost in his rage that he isn't even hitting me with The Belt; this time he uses his own bare hands. We keep fighting, shouting at each other, and it seems everything else was a dream and I'll be here for the rest of my life.

_Marcus' POV_

The screams of both of them echo all around the place; Aro must have left the door open, because their words are perfectly clear. They are attacking each other terribly, and the unmistakable sound of skin against skin tells us he is hitting her as well as insulting her.

"And what if I did do all these things? What if I've slept with a hundred men? What will you do now, Aro, what?"

"One more word and I'll kill you!"

"Oh, come on, you say that every time you beat me. But you don't have the guts to keep your promise, you are a coward, Aro, a coward!"

Those of us in the hall -Caius, Renata, Chelsea, Jane, Alec, Felix, Demetri, Afton, myself- look at each other, wondering if we should intervene before he does something irreversible. The screams rise in volume, he's calling her horrible things and beating her harder. But their voices are not the only thing we hear; soft, quiet sobs are beginning to sound as well. Jane suddenly gets up and heads upstairs, hearing her sweet, soothing voice we realize the cries are coming from Sebastian's room.

Not being able to stand one more second of her suffering, I get on my feet as well and follow the roars. As expected the door is open. Inside hell is burning. He's calling her every single bad name on Earth, at the same time she lies at his feet, curled up in a ball, a position Aro once told me he loves.

"Brother, that's enough, stop."

"Not until I find out who else has been fucking _my_ wife!"

I turn to her, horrified at the possibility of her secret having been discovered. She looks straight at him, her eyes a blue challenge. Her mouth is set in a hard line; though for the first time he's right she will not give in, she will do anything to protect _him_. Aro just keeps on kicking and slapping her.

"You'll kill her, Aro, stop, now."

"That's what she deserves, the whore!"

"That's nonsense, and you know it. Come on, leave her alone. We both know that if you kill her tonight you will regret it tomorrow."

I look around me, desperate for help. Suddenly Alec, Felix and Demetri are here, and between Alec's talent, Felix's strength, and Demetri's sensible words Aro calms down. For the first time in what seems an hour he stops beating Alice. I keel before her; the vision is heartbreaking. She's trembling very softly, but still tries to stay strong, biting her lips in order not to moan or cry. Somewhere in the distance I hear Sebastian almost demanding to see his mother, and Jane's voice as she tries to reason with him. But as a quiet whimper escapes her lips I return my attention to Alice. I decide it's better to take her to a hospital; she really does look worse than other times. Therefore, I take her in my arms and go downstairs, making sure her son doesn't see her in this state.

I drive her to the hospital where she stayed when she lost her child almost a year ago. There must be something in my expression, because a doctor is instantly by my side. When he sees the unconscious girl in my arms, he lets out a horrified hiss.

"For God's sake, _what happened to her?_"

In an outburst of frankness, I go for the truth. "Her husband beat her up."

The doctor growls again and immediately sends for nurses and everything needed to assist her. When he asks me about her, I tell him I'm her uncle. His eyes seem reproachful, but otherwise he doesn't say anything. After a quick exam he informs me,

"She'll be fine. It's not that serious, contrary to what it looks like. She might have to stay here until tomorrow, maybe the day after as well, but it's mostly because she's in a state of deep exhaustion. She must have been through horrible things, and I don't mean only this… event. She needs to rest. Tell me, how old is she?"

"She just turned eighteen."

"Jesus. She's so young! What a waste. I really must… well, later. We'll have to wait until she comes back to her senses, it might take a while because I don't want to force the process. God knows it's better for her to be unconscious."

I sigh. If only God knew…

_Alice's POV_

I awake in a white room that I immediately recognize. A hospital. I have no idea how I got here, nor when did I faint. I think I saw Marcus at some point, maybe he's the one who brought me here. Sebastian! Where is he? Where is my son? What the hell-

"Hello."

I turn around, startled. A doctor is there, watching me. He must be around his mid-forties, his smile is warm and kind, his presence comforting. I like him immediately.

"Hi," I say softly. "How did I get here?"

"Your uncle brought you. He's outside, very anxious, by the way."

I have no idea of who my uncle is. I'll pretend it's Marcus.

"I'm Dr. Scagnetti. I'll be here to take care of you. Your name is Alice, right? Well, honey, tell me, how much do you remember about this incident?"

"Um, I …" I don't know what to say. I have no idea what my 'uncle' told him, how much I'm allowed to share.

"Don't be scared. Your uncle already told me your husband hurt you."

"Ah!" I relax. "Yeah. We fought, and he beat me up. Doesn't matter, I've had worse. Just tell me, how bad is this?" I hope I don't have to stay too long here, I so must go see my Jasper.

"Well, I must say I'm surprised. It was a pretty hard attack, but it looks worse than it actually is. I just can't believe he can have hurt you, in your state… But don't worry, both of you are fine."

"Both?"

"Yes. You and your child."

"My child? Wait- what do you mean by that, my child?"

"Didn't you know? Alice, you're pregnant. I'd say, four, five weeks. Miraculously, your baby survived and it's perfectly fine. Still, you'll have to be very careful from now on and…"

But I can't hear anything anymore. Now I understand. The sleep. The hunger. The dizziness. The nausea. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God oh my God oh my God. I'm having a baby. And a month ago I … wait a minute! I start counting… a month ago I … I …

Oh

_Oh._

A month ago I had the most wonderful night of my life.

The baby is not Aro's.

I'm pregnant with Jasper's child.


	33. Velvet

**Hello ! Strongly recommending The Secret Life Of Bees, starring Dakota Fanning, Jennifer Hudson, Queen Latifah. I saw it last night and, God, I cried so much… beautiful movie indeed.**

**Enjoy!**

**XOXO**

**Velvet**

I'm really trying to assimilate the fact that I'm expecting Jasper's child. The doctor sees my sudden terror and tries to comfort me.

"You're strong," he said, "and healthy, your baby will grow perfectly fine. How old are you?"

"Eighteen." Screw the twenty-three thing, I'm sick of it.

He stops taking notes and looks straight at me. "Eighteen? You're married, aren't you?"

"Yes, why?"

"No, nothing, it's only that you're quite young. You should have waited a little longer before having your first child."

I smiled humorlessly. If only he knew…

"Excuse me," I say instead, "is my uncle still out there? I'd like to see him."

"Oh, yes, sure, I'll call him."

Outside I hear Marcus's voice talking to the doctor. I can make out some of their words:

"She's only a child…"

"I know… tougher than you think…"

Finally, Marcus comes in. He hugs me softly and kisses my forehead.

"What are you going to do now?" he asks. Of course, vampire super-hearing.

"I don't know. I honestly don't know. I must do something, but what?"

"You cannot stay here with us. It would not be fair for the kid, or for Jasper. He deserves to know he's going to be father, to be with his child."

"I know," I almost sob. "But what can I do?" after a pause I add, "Where is my son?"

Marcus doesn't answer, which tells me Aro has taken him away again. Now I'm really trapped. I can't leave one of my children to save the other. I can't condemn them both, either. I… ah! Grr…

"Ok, Alice, listen. You need to rest. Sleep now and I'll try to think of something. We'll talk tomorrow."

I do as told until next day. The doctor says I'm ready to leave and Marcus drives me back to the castle. We discuss various plans, but they are all too weak. I need something permanent, to be able to go away with my kids and not live in perpetual fear. So far there's nothing that can help me. I go to one of the small halls and sit by a window, ready to be miserable for a while.

"Alice?" someone says quietly. It's Alec, his soft voice concerned. "Is something the matter? Anything I can do for you?"

I smile. "No, Alec, don't worry. It's just that…"

"What?"

"Well… I …" ah, everyone will find out, sooner or later. "I'm pregnant."

"Really? Why, congra-" yet when he sees my expression he stops. "It… _it is not Aro's?_"

I shake my head. "Jasper Cullen's."

"Oh dear."

"I know. And I also know that I can't stay here anymore. I can't do that to my baby. But what can I do to escape? Aro has Sebastian. He's my child, too, I can't leave him, either. But I don't know what to do to save us all, I don't even know where he is."

"I do," he says suddenly. "He's with Janette, but I have access to him as well. I can get him and bring him to you."

"Really? Would you do that for me?" I say, letting the tiniest spark of hope begin to shine.

"Yes. Of course I would. I will. I'll do anything you need."

"Why?" I ask, bewildered and confused. "Why are you doing this, Alec, why are you helping me? What can I mean to you?"

He doesn't say a thing. I wait until he reaches into his pocket and takes out an object he places gently on my hand. My scarf. The purple-and-blue scarf I thought long lost. All this time, he had it! But…

"Everything. That's what you mean to me. Everything. Alice, I love you."

"_What?"_

"Yes. I love you, I have loved you from the very first second I saw you. I love you, I want you, I adore you, I desire you, I everything you. And I'm willing to give my life if with that I can save you."

"Alec…" I sigh. He looks down and then takes another thing from his cloak. It's a photo; he hands it to me and I recognize my own image. It was taken four years ago. I'm sitting in this very place, looking out the same window. I'm six months pregnant with Sebastian. My hands are over my stomach, my legs, in jeans and a pair of cute leg warmers with soft pink and green strips, are crossed at the ankles. I remember that day perfectly, I was childishly upset because it was the prom night, an event I was really looking forward to. It angered me that I was there, huge and clumsy, while everyone else was having fun at the party.

And in this moment, this second, Alec takes my hand and speaks so softly it's almost a whisper.

"I don't want you to be that again. I don't care what it takes, I'll get you out of here."

Next thing I know, I'm hugging him as tight as possible. "Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Now listen," I start, a plan quickly shaping up in my mind. "Go get Sebastian. Don't tell him anything, only that he has to pack his stuff. Help him, and prepare a car, any car. And… and… if you see your sister, please tell her to come see me, ok? And… if you see anyone while you do this, tell them to get out of here. Please, this is very important. Get them out, will you?"

He nods. "Of course. The yellow Porsche?"

"Perfect. Thank you so much…" I hug him again "Go," I say. "Go now."

He sets off running and disappears down a hallway. I sigh and start doing my own task. After stopping by the kitchen I run upstairs and on my way to my room I meet Natalia.

"Alice, what's the matter? Why are you so agitated?"

"I'm leaving, Natalia. I can't stay one more second in this place. Not one. I'm pregnant, and it isn't Aro's. I can't force this baby to live here. And its father… its father must know everything, he deserves the chance to be with his child. I can't deny them both that. That's why I can't stay here.

"Finally, Alice. I'm so glad for you. I'm sure you and Jasper will be very happy together."

"Yeah, we- hey, wait. How do you know it's Jasper?"

She smiles and shakes her hand. "I once read your hand, remember? I saw that you loved a blond man. It obviously wasn't your husband. Then, at your birthday party, you and Jasper looked at each other for a second. You could have melted with love, both of you! Sorry, Alice, it was kind of obvious. But I know you belong together."

I laugh. "Thanks, Nati. Now, please, listen. I need to get as many people out as possible. Tell everyone you see to leave the castle, ok?"

"Ok. We were planning to leave, anyway."

"We?"

Out of the blue, Marcus appears. He puts his arms around Natalia's waist, pulling her closer. She leans her head against his shoulder and he kisses her head.

"Excuse me? You're together? How come you both know every single detail about my love life but didn't tell me a word about this?"

"Sorry, Lizzie. It's just that we wanted to keep it as discreet as possible. We should have told you. Sorry."

I smile. "Don't worry. It's great to see you together. You deserve it. And also-"

"Alice? My brother said you wanted to see me."

"Jane, of course." Marcus and Natalia continue their way, holding hands. "Listen, Jane, I know this will sound strange, but, look, Aro is about to arrive, and I was wondering if you could, well, entertain him for a while."

"Entertain him?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. Please, Jane, I'm begging you. Keep him busy for an hour or so."

"Why?"

"I can't explain right now. But it's crucial. I need you, Jane, please. It's no sacrifice for you, is it? Please?"

"All right, Alice, I will. I truly hope you know what you're doing."

_Jane's POV_

No, it's no sacrifice at all. Of course it's not, how could it be. And contrary to what I thought, I don't need to do anything at all, he's the one who summons me to one of his rooms. Ah, the feeling of his hands on my skin… The silky sensation of his fingers stroking my hair and his lips on my neck, my shoulders, my collarbone… He undoes the knot of my cloak and continues his kisses while he gently lays me on the bed. He hovers over me, rocking himself back and forth in the most exquisite way, and I'm pleased to find that when I run my hands over his chest a soft growl comes out of his lips.

_Alice's POV_

I start packing, taking the suitcases down to the Porsche. So far so good. My plan is going smoothly and the next level starts. Do I have the strength? Can I really do what I'm planning?

_Jane's POV_

I bite my lower lip and sink my nails on his shoulders. His movements are perfect, experienced, and we're in total coordination. He knows what I like, I know what he likes. He's gentle, careful, and knows how to manipulate the feathery caresses of his lips and hands over my breasts, my legs, my face, my back. He kisses my mouth and the taste is the sweetest. I can't help a soft moan.

"Master," I hear myself sighing. "Master."

My moans are in harmony with his pants; knowing that he enjoys me is the only thing I ask from life.

_Alice's POV_

I'm ready now. The time has come. Though I've never been the religious type today I pray fervently before sitting on the bed and waiting for Aro to arrive so I can tell him I'm leaving him.

_Jane's POV_

I wish this moment never ended. I wish he could stay with me forever. He helps me into the red velvet robe he had designed and made especially for me. He plays with my loose hair and kisses my shoulder, my cheek and finally my mouth. I hold his face, trying to make this beautiful moment last.

"Master," I say. "Could I go hunting to the city?"

He smiles. "Of course, darling."

I bow and as I walk toward the door he takes my hand.

"Ah, Jane," he murmurs, pressing his lips to my skin. "My little golden sunbeam."

_Alice's POV_

He's coming, I can hear him now. I stand close to the door -not that I would be able to outrun him- and pray again when he comes into the room

"What's all this?" he asks, seeing the empty closets and my face.

"What do you think it is? I'm leaving you."

"You _what_!"

"I'm leaving you. And I'm taking my son with me."

"_My_ son is not going anywhere, and neither are you. You will only leave this place dead."

I stop moving and look at him. "You don't scare me anymore, Aro. I'm not the stupid little girl you raped and enslaved anymore. I'm leaving, my son comes with me, and that's it."

In a second he's holding me, an arm around my waist and a hand pulling my hair.

"Oh, so the little mare is fierce once more? Do you need me to tame you again? You know how it is, what I can do when you stamp your little feet."

I look straight into his eyes and pronounce my next words slowly. "This mare will do anything to protect her colts."

He freezes, he's caught the plural.

"You… you're…"

"Yes. I'm pregnant. And you know what? It's not yours."

His face is the purest, undiluted shock. Such is his surprise that he releases his hold on me and I'm able to open the door and stand beside it.

"It… it is not my child?"

"No. Poor you, you were so convinced of your own power, your control over me, that you didn't realize you were throwing me into the arms of someone else."

"Who is it? Tell me. Someone from the guard? Tell me!"

I consider it for a moment. Given what I'm planning, I guess I can give him that much. "No, it's not someone from the guard. It's… Jasper, Jasper Cullen."

"_What!_"

"Oh yes. We've been together for over a year. We fell in love the second you introduced us to each other, and there's no going back."

He shakes his head, finally understanding "All those little smiles… the scent… your eyes… your defiance…"

"Yes. When you hit me, he kissed me. When you abused me, he loved me. Can you imagine what I did the day you left for Siberia? I went straight to his house and spent all night there, in his arms. And now I'm carrying his child and I'm leaving you for him."

His eyes are two red daggers. "How could you? How could you do that to me?"

"How could- how could I? It's me who should be asking that question, don't you think? Five years ago I was fourteen, I was in high school, and I had a crush on a boy called James. How did any of that offend you? What did I do, that you decided to hurt me so much?"

"You exist. That's it. You have been my ruin! I have been sentenced from the second I first set eyes on you. Damn it, I have given it all for you! Heaven knows I tried everything to get you. You drove me mad, insane. If you had said yes, we would have been together for some time, I would have bought you clothes, jewels, maybe a car. And after a while you would have become nothing but another one of my many whims. We would have never met again. But no, you had to say no! You of all women! You, the one that attracted me the most, that fascinated me the most, that obsessed me the most, you said no! And it was too much for me to bear. I had to have you, Alice, I just had to, even if it meant forcing you, taking you against your will. I went to the very doors of Hell to get you, and I will never let you go."

"Please. Please, Aro, it's over."

"No, it's not! Never. And listen, Alice, I can understand you don't want to be with me. But if you are not mine, then you are no one's."

He's savage, wild, murderous. He looks totally ready to kill me, but instead of launching himself at me, which is what I expected, he takes out a gun from his pocket. He doesn't aim at my head or heart, he aims at my stomach. We look at each other, my heart the only sound, for endless seconds. His hand is trembling, shaking the gun. I don't dare moving, still, I find my voice inside my fear.

"Go on," I challenge. "Kill another of my children. Kill my child and don't bother to leave me alive. Come on, what are you waiting for? Kill us!"

He lets out a quiet growl and fires the gun. I hear the bullet as it cuts the air and lands an inch away from me. Because in the very second he shoots, Sebastian, appearing out of nowhere, leaps at him, moving Aro's arm and thus deflecting the bullet. Then he runs to me and I take him in my arms.

"Goodbye forever, Aro."

I open the door and right before disappearing I do what I'd always dreamt of, what I always wanted to do but never thought I'd actually have the courage. The last part of my plan. I reach into my pocket, lit the match, and let it fall onto the rug.

I barely have time to run downstairs with my son before the ball of flames devours the hallway.

After that there's only confusion, my mind is clouded. I run desperately, shouting, telling the few ones that are still in the castle to get the hell out of here. The fire spreads faster than I thought, already the garage glows with an orange light. I get in the car Alec prepared and whose door he's opening right now.

"You've really… you've really done something," he says. "Doesn't matter. Be happy, Alice."

I smile. And then I kiss him. It's the least I can do for him. I press my lips to his and he twins his fingers in my hair and holds me for one, two, three seconds. Then he looks at me, his eyes like red roses, sweet, soft, tender.

"Goodbye, Alice."

"Goodbye, Alec."

I drive as fast as I can. I'm exhausted, tired beyond explanation or feeling, but adrenaline keeps me going. I hear screams and pray that no innocents were trapped inside the castle. People from the streets are gathering, the flaming spectacle unbelievable to their human eyes. Sebastian is silent next to me, holding Butterscotch to his chest and looking at the road ahead of him, his little face empty. I run a hand through his hair to soothe him, poor child. I drive faster if possible, and finally arrive.

I ring the bell and less than a second later Esme opens the door.

"Alice, darling… but… what's going on? What…?"

I can't speak. I can't even think. I hold my son tighter against me and focus on breathing.

"It's over. It's over now." Those are the only words I can think of.

"Alice? With Sebastian? But…" The family is coming, all of them. Jasper fights his way between them and comes to stand before me.

"Baby, look at me. What happened? What's going on? Sweetheart, darling, please, tell me, honey, what-"

Finally, he looks to his right. He then sees everything, and his horrified gaze focuses on me again as he takes me by the shoulders and shakes me.

"Alice, _what have you__ done!_"

"It's over. Over now. Forever."

And then everything goes black.

_Jasper's POV_

I catch them just in time before she faints. Esme takes Sebastian while I carry Alice to the living room. Through the window I can see the inferno burning. I'm almost sure it was her. She did it. How? Why now? I try to make her regain consciousness, but Carlisle insists that we should let her rest. God knows what has just happened. The phone rings and Edward gets it. It's Marcus, and his words confirm my thoughts.

"She set fire to the castle…" I hear. "She burned it… yes, with Aro inside…well, you can imagine, Edward… we got them all out, but, you see, some of them are loyal to him… when they realized, they went back… yes, they ran to the flames again! I know… she's with you, right?… that's what I thought. The child too, I suppose… good. She'll be safe, then… no, I'll stay here for a while, try to get these kids out again… it's hell here… damn, she really has done something huge. People will talk about this forever… She's brought the Volturi down… she's killed Aro, for God's sake!… I'll try to visit her tomorrow. Later today, actually. Be patient with her, she's shocked and distressed and… well, she'll tell you in due time. Yes, Edward. Ok. Give my regards to your family. Good night."

When my brother hangs up we all exchange looks. The truth and weight of what she has truly done is so enormous nobody dares think of it. Luckily she stirs ever so softly and then opens her eyes again, therefore stopping the conversation. I kneel beside her and hold her hand.

"Jasper," she murmurs.

"Alice, my love, I'm here."

"Jazz, I … I killed him, Jazz, I burned the castle, I …"

"I know, honey. Marcus just called, he explained everything. Why, Alice? Why did you do that? Why now?"

"I… I had to do it, I had to do something permanent. I couldn't leave and spend the rest of my life fearing him. I had to kill him. It's the best for all of us. I'm so sorry."

I kiss her hand. "Don't be afraid, darling. You'll be safe now. You and your child."

"Children," she says. She sits on the couch she's been lying on, with one hand she cups my face and with the other one she takes one of mine and places it on her stomach. She leans forward, kisses my lips, and speaks.

"My love, I'm pregnant. I'm having a baby. Your baby, Jasper. Yours."

Behind me I hear a few quiet gasps. I'm utterly wordless. A baby? Mine? She's carrying _my child_! I pull her to me and wrap my arms around her.

"Remember that night?" she continues. "The one I spent here with you? There. I just know it was then. And that's why I couldn't stay with Aro any longer. Not now, not anymore, no, no, no…"

She starts to sob quietly. Once again, I lift her off the ground and carry her upstairs. Sebastian has already fallen asleep in Esme's arms, he'll be fine. Meanwhile, I take Alice to my bedroom and lay her on the bed. Her crying continues in the most heartbreaking way. I climb onto the bed as well. She curls up in a ball, her soft fingers pulling me by the sweater. I put her legs on my lap and my arms around her. She leans her head against my chest and continues crying.

You could say she's having hysterics. She sobs and trembles and shakes, each time more and more violently. She melts in pain; she's crying four years' worth of tears. And she's pregnant! Oh my, she's pregnant with my child! I lay a hand on her belly, and soon her hand rests over my skin. Her cries get more desolate, she cries and cries and cries, endlessly. Her shoulders shake, her back shakes, her arms and legs shake; she's an earthquake of sorrow. I try every word, every caress I can think of to help her feel better, but whenever I touch her she sobs more passionately. In the end, I decide to just let her cry it all out.

Finally, after midnight, she calms down and falls asleep. God knows what she's dreaming that makes her twitch and whimper. I try to soothe her or wake her up, but she instantly stops and relaxes by herself. Therefore, I just cradle her and rock her softly. She sleeps until noon. When she awakes, opening her gorgeous, star-like eyes, and realizes where she is, she smiles in a terribly beautiful way, soft, sweet, a smile that is the purest essence of her. She looks like a totally new being; the child I met has become the truest of women. It's like watching a butterfly come out of its bud. She pecks me on the lips. Again. And again. She moves down to my neck, kissing and nibbling and giggling. She gives me no time to wonder if this is right, she pulls me to her and we make love like never before, with tender passion and pleasure beyond imagination. When we're done she rests her head on my chest and says,

"I don't have to rush, you know? I don't have to leave this bed right now. Or ever. No one is waiting for me, ready to ask where, why, who. I don't have anyone to answer to. I'm free! I'm free! I'm free I'm free I'm free! Oh my God, I'm free! Free!"

She laughs openly and I join her. She chants her happy word over and over again before kissing me once more and restart our lovemaking.


	34. Rainbow

**Rainbow**

It's a scandal. It's everywhere. Word is spreading fast around the vampire high societies, and in less than a week the whole immortal world knows what I've done.

I'm every bit as shocked, confused and clueless as they all are. Only now I'm beginning to realize how enormous is the reality of my acts, and it terrifies me. For me, I've killed my abusing husband, for some people I've killed a tyrant and a monster, a merciless, ambitious creature, but for some others I've killed the greatest leader vampires have ever had, the most careful, prudent and cautious, the best one in history. Therefore, so far half the world adores me and the other half is claiming my head.

Good or bad, vampires have lost their government, which has them in complete disorganization. They swim in a thousand theories and speculations, trying to guess who will take the Volturi's place. There obviously has to be someone, and there are more than enough candidates, but this is a choice that needs to be made with the utmost care and precaution. Curiously enough, the name that sounds the loudest and that is being echoed by many is that of the Cullens, my new family. It seems like I can't escape from living with a political force.

On top of all this, as if it isn't enough with government problems, I'm pregnant. This time, for some reason, is harder than with my other two children. Every second of the day I'm perfectly aware of the baby I'm carrying: morning sickness, noon cravings, afternoon sleepiness, evening dizziness, nightly hunger. Every single day. Jasper just laughs and pampers me, just like the rest of the family, but it's beginning to get really annoying.

Also, I'm still dealing with some old ghosts that often haunt me in my dreams. More than once Jasper has had to wake me up in the middle of the night, because not even the echo of my cries can wake me up. But I'm better now, he and his -well, our- family have been wonderful, and the excitement of this new child is more than enough to cheer me up. It won't be long before my pregnancy starts to show, and that's something I'm really looking forward to. Also, fortunately, Sebastian has adapted well to our new life. He adores the Cullens, and they love him, too, so I'm glad to see it's so easy for him.

But I miss my friends from the castle. Marcus called saying that there's a mess to take care of and that he cannot come until everything is fixed. Natalia is helping him, so I haven't seen her, either. I haven't heard of Gianna and Demetri and I'm starting to get worried. I called Paloma a couple of days ago, but apparently she wasn't home. I left a message and I'm still waiting. Finally, almost two weeks after The Event, just when I'm getting really desperate, Alec comes.

The instant I see him, I wish I hadn't. He looks terrible: hair disheveled, clothes dirty with ashes and utter misery in his eyes. He still smells of smoke and his eyes are immensely sad when he greets us.

"Hello, Alice."

"Alec, but, what happened?" he can't look this depressed. Nothing can bring him down, he has lived and witnessed more than enough things, what can possibly have happened that he's in such self-abandon?

We all sit go to the living room and listen to Alec's story. His words are heartbreaking.

"It was horrible. Worse than hell. You sure did something, Alice. Our world is upside down. And no one can believe a human did it. I'm not blaming you, but, ah… you understand; never before had we been so shaken."

"I'm sorry."

"No, don't worry, it is not your fault. You already took too long to act. This had to happen, sooner or later, and if it hadn't been you it would have been anyone. At least you have your reasons."

I sigh. I really don't know what to say. "How's everyone else?" I ask, just to say something.

"Everyone… everyone now means a lot less than before."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you see… I don't know if you heard about this, but there were a lot of us who were loyal to Aro above anything else in the world, people whose lives he saved, and that swore eternal devotion to him. These people, well, we evacuated them, as you said, but when they realized what was going on and that Aro was trapped inside, um, they, they… went… back."

I look at Alec, horrified. "What do you mean, they went back! They returned to the fire!"

Alec nods. "I don't know if they wanted to save him or merely stay with him till the end, but they ran back to the flames. We lost them."

"How many?" I ask, now trying not to cry.

"I'm not sure yet. Some others just escaped, so it's hard to tell. Gianna and Demetri, for example, they ran away. There are few I'm sure are gone: Chelsea, Afton, Renata, Santiago, Heidi, even Caius. Those we lost without a doubt."

I bury my face in my hands. Jasper puts an arm around me and holds me to his chest, sending waves of comfort.

"And Jane?" asks Sebastian in his sweet little voice. "Where is she?"

Alec looks at him, at us, and down again. He sighs and when he closes his eyes the horrible truth dawns in me.

"I'm so sorry, Sebs," he whispers. "We lost her, too."

Silence. Absolute silence. Sebastian starts to sob very softly and now it's my turn to hug and soothe.

"But… hadn't she gone out?" I say. "I thought I'd heard someone say she was in the city."

"She was. She'd gone hunting. But I guess she saw the flames or heard the people running and screaming and went back to the castle. I don't know who told her that Aro was inside, but when I saw her she was already hysterical. She tried to run into the fire, but I caught her on time. I pinned her against the ground and tried to talk some sense into her.

" 'Master!' she screamed.

" 'He's gone, Jane.'

" 'No! Master! Master!'

" 'Jane! There's nothing you can do now. Come with me.'

" 'No! Alec, let me go! Master! Let me go! Master!'

" 'Sister, please, calm down. He's gone. It's over now,' I said, trying to reason with her.

" 'I'll die with him!' she cried.

" 'No! You come with me!'

" 'I'll die with him! Without him I'm nothing! Nothing! Please, Alec, let me go. Let me go, I beg you! Master!'

"I decided to use my talent to control her, but you know it's slow, so she realized before I could touch her and counter-attacked with her own power. We fought for a while, neither being able to win. Finally, I guess her love was stronger. She knocked me down and ran to the flames. A-and she… she never came out."

Alec hides his face in his hands while soft, dry sobs shake his body. He's totally shattered by his sister's death, every single piece of him destroyed. Because of me.

"I've been going back every day, with the foolish hope of finding her alive. Nothing."

I sit beside him and place a hand on his shoulder, the other one caressing his hair.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper.

"It-it wasn't your fault. I should have known that wherever he was, there she would be, too. It just kills me that he wasn't worth it. I mean, yes, he saved our lives, helped us, taught us, looked after us, but he never saw us as more that weapons. Whereas Jane… Jane was devoted to him, six centuries completely devoted to his service. She adored him from the second he rescued us from the stake, and she loved him like no one else, yet for him she was nothing but a pet. Did you know that during these last months they were lovers?" I nod. "She was so thrilled… she dedicated herself to find all the possible ways to please him; every time he called her was glory. She was only one among so many others before, but that was enough for her. And I knew, I knew that sooner or later he would destroy her, and I still let it happen." His sobs cut him again.

He cries for a while, and no one knows what to say. Finally, he calms down.

"But she's dead. There's nothing I can do about it now. I must move on. She would be angry with me if she saw me mourning her, she hated funerals and graveyards and all those things; she'd laugh at me and tell me not to be so sentimental. I must go on. That's what she'd like me to do." He turns to me and continues "Anyway, there's some formal procedures we have to discuss. Did you know that Aro left a will? I know, amazing. The point is, everything belongs now to you and Sebastian. The castle itself survived the fire, it's almost intact, but I don't mean only that. Aro had at least fifteen properties around the world: houses, castles, manors, etc. Jewels, cars, even a ship and a plane. You get the idea. Luckily, you're now eighteen, so everything is legally yours."

"Mine?"

"Yes. Everything. Totally yours."

"Wow," is everything I can say.

"You are probably the richest woman on Earth. If the speculations and rumors are true and you, Carlisle, decide to take over our society, when you join your own fortune with this one you'll be the most powerful family ever. You're pregnant, Alice, that means you can start a dynasty. Do you have the slightest idea of what that means? A succession of heirs to the vampire throne, something never seen before! Think about it."

I actually had already thought about it and it's terrifying, but I don't comment it with Alec. There will be time for that later.

"What are _you_ going to do now?" I inquire instead.

"I don't know. I think Marcus is trying to gather the survivors. I don't know what he's planning, but I think I'll join him. He's a wise man and I know he'll make the right decisions for everyone."

"Yeah, you're right. If you see him, tell him to come visit us if he has time."

"I will. He and Natalia miss you and the child, but there have been an awful lot of things to do. He'll come soon, and so will I. Now I'm afraid I must leave. There's work to be done. That will keep me busy enough not to think of Jane. I'll keep in touch."

"Please do. It's been good to see you, Alec. Anything you need, you know we'll be here for you, ok? And, well, I know it's useless to say this, but I'm so sorry for Jane… it was my fault, and-"

"No, no, no. Stop that. It was not your fault, but Aro's and hers. He gave her a second life; it was obvious that he'd be the one to take it again. Don't blame yourself." He pauses. "Alice, I was wondering if… could you, well, if Jasper allows it, um, could you… give me a hug, please?"

I smile and wrap my arms around him. He's barely taller than me, but his strength makes up for his height. I run my hand through his ash-covered hair and pat his back. I haven't forgotten his confession, the painful secret he kept these years. It breaks my heart to know there's nothing I can do to help him.

"See you soon, Alec," I say.

But I soon see how wrong I am.


	35. Butterflies, again

**Butterflies Again**

We hear of Alec's suicide form Marcus. He and Natalia finally visit us a couple of week later and bring these news.

"I'm so sorry. Yet, I think it was the only way left for him. You see, he had been going to the castle every day, in hopes of finding his sister. Well, he did. In the room you and Aro shared he found two piles of ashes. Hidden in one of them was a ring Jane always, always wore, since she was human. It was a gift from Alec himself, for her fifteenth birthday. Then he knew beyond doubt that his sister was lost." Marcus stops and looks down; now I can see how it hurts him to talk about this. Natalia puts an arm around his shoulders, caresses his cheek, and continues.

"After he found the ring he kept to himself. He wouldn't talk to anyone. Oh, I forgot to tell you, we've taken one of the manors in Sicilia, I hope you don't mind, now that it's yours. But most of the survivors are there while they decide what they'll do next. Anyway, so Alec was quiet and reserved. And just a week ago, in the morning, we smelled smoke and heard flames. We ran, but arrived too late. Alec had prepared a pyre, and he was gone. Beside the fire, we found a note for you."

Marcus reaches into his pocket and takes out a piece of paper he hands to me. When I unfold it, I recognize Alec's handwriting:

Alice,

By the time you get this, I'll be finally resting. Please forgive me, but now that I have lost the two loves of my life, that is, you and Janette, I have no more reasons to stay alive. I'm tired of it all, and I know you will understand my choice.

I hope you and Jasper find the happiness you fought so hard for. Enjoy the blessing of your new baby and may many more come.

Give my love to Sebastian

Goodbye

Alec.

It is, as Marcus said, the only way that was left for him, but that doesn't make it any less painful. I can't shake off the feeling that this is all my fault, the result of all the mistakes I've made from the second I lit that match. Not even Jaspe's talent and his soothing hands through my hair can relieve this horrible guilt. Marcus only confirms what Alec said the other time, about the ones who decided to die with their Master.

"Renata… always so kind to me… Afton and Chelsea, they had so many plans for a future together… Heidi… Heidi! And now they're dead because of me."

"No, Alice, don't ever think that," says Natalia. "That's anything but your fault. Each one of us is free to make any decision. No one forced them to stay, moreover, we evacuated them, remember? If their loyalty was stronger than everything else, well, we're not the ones to judge them."

I sighed and tried to let myself be comforted by Marcus and Natalia's kind words. When I felt better, I saw Marcus's face turn into the stern mask that he wore when he had to touch a delicate matter and he didn't want to. He seemed to weigh his words before speaking.

"There's something very important we have to talk about. Alec told me you discussed this when he was here. I mean the matter of who is going to take over the Volturi's place. Alice, you realize you're in a very fragile position, with the matters of government and politics surrounding us. Strictly speaking, Sebastian is the one official heir to our throne."

"What! No!"

"Yes. He's Aro's natural, legitimate child, his own blood, his son. He has all the rights in the world to take over. Of course, he's too young. Then the responsibility would fall in you, or someone of this family. You Cullens have everything to claim the power: you, Carlisle, are a most capable man; talented ones among your numbers; an enormous fortune; Aro's son and a new one on its way. Do you realize what this means? How mighty you could be? No one in this world has more right to the throne than you. You have Sebastian, for God's sake!"

"I will not make my son live all that again. I never will, no matter what. Marcus, have you thought of you assuming this control? You ruling us?"

"Actually I have, but I decided against it. I guess that since I was a former Volturi I could do with almost no opposition, but truth is, I'm tired of it. All I want is some peace and quiet, not having the entire weight of our world and its secrets on my shoulders. I want time to spend with Natalia. And also, I don't think I would be able to do it. I mean, we all know that the actual, real power was in Aro's hands. He was always the schemer, the politician, the negotiator. Without him I'm afraid I wouldn't know what to do. If I at least had Caius, maybe we could try together. But he isn't here anymore, and so it has become obvious that what our society needs is a fresh pair of hands and a new brain. Your family has it all; you should give yourselves a chance. Carlisle?"

"I really don't know if I should…"

"Oh, c'mon! See it like this: if you don't take this place, then someone else will, and who knows what we'll turn into then. Please, you are more than able to do this. Think about it, will you?"

"Ok, Marcus, we will. Promise."

We spend a while weighing our options. I absolutely want my children out of this mess, but if we do take the power I won't be able to help it, at least in Sebastian's case. Luckily, someone arrives that helps me clear my mind.

"Paloma!" I exclaim one morning, when I see her standing in the garden.

"Alice!"

"Oh my God, look at you! No way!" we cry out at the same time. She must be totally confused, last thing she knew I was enslaved and hopeless, and now I know that my dress shows the soft curve of my stomach, barely visible but definitely there. As for me, I'm just flabbergasted and speechless. Because now, under the sunlight, I see the rainbows thrown by her skin and the ruby gleam of her eyes.

"Tell me everything! No details spared!"

"You first!"

"You first!"

We go into the house and finally manage to tell each other everything. She lets out a guffaw when I tell her how I cheated on Aro for a whole year and he never realized. She can barely believe that I killed him and that yes, he's completely dead. She' sorry for the innocents that perished but agrees with Natalia; it was their free choice. Then she tells me her own tale.

"I guess I was too used to vampires now. The same way you fell in love with one of them and not a human man. Those things can't be helped. I decided that this is the world where I belong, and so I convinced one of Natalia's friends to change me. She agreed and I became this. Oh, was it painful! But totally worth it, because now I have… wait…"

She opens a window and makes a gesture. A microsecond later a young man comes in. He's in is twenties, or at least he was when he was changed, for he's clearly a vampire.

"Hello, my name is Laurent," he greets politely.

He looks at Paloma and the flow of devotion is such that I understand they've finally found their true place, with each other.

"We met in Spain and we could never be separated from each other again. Then we heard the news of Aro's death, that it had been his human wife who destroyed him. It was too good to believe, so we decided to come and check for ourselves. And just look at you! You're a new woman! You're radiant! And this little thing here," she places a hand on my belly. Now that I've started the fourth month my pregnancy is evident, which makes my terribly happy. Just because of that I've been wearing tight clothes, so I can shout to the world that I'm having a baby.

And it's the world indeed. Paloma and Laurent aren't the only ones who have come to see for themselves if the rumors are true. It's a fair over here, curious people that just cannot comprehend how an insignificant human could kill Aro. Some are happy, some aren't, but the general feeling is relief. Relief like the one Paloma has brought to me; though now an immortal she's one of my best friends, and it's great to have people like she and Marcus and Natalia with me.

And finally the biggest of changes comes. One evening, Carlisle calls for a family meeting in the dining room. He looks at each one of us and thinks for a while before holding Esme's hand and speaking.

"Esme and I have talked about this, and we have made a choice. I would like you all to express your opinion, and vote. Here's the point."

Ah, the discussion that follows. Yet, in the end, we vote unanimously. _**The decision has been made. We're taking over.**_

**Hello, people****. OMG, THEY'VE STARTED FILMING BREAKING DAAAAAWWWN! I NEED THE DRESS KRISTEN WORE IN LAPA, I **_**NEED**_** IT !**

**Ahem, sorry about that. In other things, today I want to discuss The Scandal, The Awful Thing We Definitley Did Not Need. I'm going to talk about the Jashley situation and the triangle LoJoGree (Lovato-Jonas-Greene):**

**I suppose you've all heard of the situation we're facing in Twitter. In case you don't, for the last weeks Ashley has been terribly attacked by the Demi Lovato fans. They're calling her ugly names and bullying her in the cruelest way. Twilight Lexicon has said that cyberbullying is an act of cowardice, and I totally agree. Some other Twilight fan sites and Twilighters on their own (including this your vampire writer) are already reacting to defend Ashley.**

**This attack should not (and will not) remain unpunished. I ask you, those of you who have a Twitter account, show your love and support for our Ashley. If you find a Coward Tweet, don't' be afraid to reply and show Demi's fans who rules here.**

**I've never approved of Jashley (Joe + Ashley) because I love Jackson and Kellan and I think Ashley would be happier with either of them. In my opinion, Joe does not deserve her; she's too much for him. But they were happy, and that's what counts. No one else has the right to intervene.**

**Let's just make clear to the world that Ashley is not alone, and show the world what Twilight fans are made of !**

**Well, 12:09**** am, gotta go!**

**War!**

**XOXO**


	36. All the time in the world

**All the time in the world**

"Come, come here. Give me a kiss."

I walk toward Jasper and stand on tiptoes to kiss him. I can feel his smile against my lips. He pulls me closer and his hands move up and down my back while I run my own hands over the muscles of his arms and chest. His torso is firmly pressed to mine, so I can perfectly hear the soft growl climbing up his throat. His palms roam slowly all over my chest, taking their time to feel the now more prominent curve of my stomach. He claims that pregnancy makes me look better, and now that I'm in my fifth month I can see he's crazy with desire. So am I.

I kiss his neck and return to his mouth. I know this will lead to more. It better. He secures me by the shoulders and I grasp a handful of his hair and…

"Ahem," a throat clearing.

We jump, naughty guilt in our eyes, to see Rosalie's graceful, statuesque figure leaned against the door frame, a smile on her lips.

"You may want to close the door when you're at these things," she says.

"Look who's talking," replies Jasper. She sticks her tongue out at him. "Sorry to ruin your fun, guys, but Alice has visitors downstairs."

"Can't they wait?"

"I'm afraid not, brother. And I think she does need to talk to them. It's your parents."

"Oh."

"Yes. And, er, Alice, I know it isn't easy for you, but I really think you should end this once and for all."

I sigh. "Yes, Rose, you're right. Could you please tell them I'm coming? I'll be downstairs in a second."

Rosalie leaves and Jasper wraps his arms around me.

"Do you want me to be with you?" he asks.

"Um… actually, I'd prefer to do this alone. But do stay nearby, just in case."

"Ok. You can talk in Carlisle's study and I'll be outside if you need me."

We go downstairs holding hands and he disappears right before I see my parents waiting in the living room. I don't know how they found out I'm here, nor how they can have the courage to show up, but the point is that they're here, and I must make sure this is the last time. I don't want anything to do with them for as long as I live.

"Hello," I say tonelessly.

"Alice, honey, hi. We-" my father stops abruptly when he sees my five, almost six-month stomach. Instinctively, I place both my hands over it.

"You… you look really good," mumbles my mother. "Healthy. Pregnancy suits you."

I nod slowly. "So… what do you need? Why did you come?"

"We heard about the fire. We were worried about you."

"Oh, really? _That_ is news."

"We just wanted to make sure you were safe. We went there, and we met Marcus. He told us where you were, and that you were doing fine. But we wanted to check."

"I see. Well, I'm fine. I'm better than ever, no thanks to you, of course. And now that you have checked, if there's nothing else you need to discuss, then-"

"No, wait. It wasn't only that. We thought… we thought you might need something, now that you're, er, a widow, and with two children, well-"

"Wait, wait, wait. First of all, since when do you worry about me needing something? Do you have any idea of all the things I've needed these years? But anyway, what does that matter to you?"

"Alice, please," says my father. "Let's just talk. Give us that chance. After all, you're our daughter."

"Oh, dad, come on. You were the first ones to forget that. Should I remind you of how you kicked me out of the house? How you practically sold me?"

"We… we didn't do that, Alice. You were pregnant, and the father of your son took the responsibility, as was his duty. That was it."

"That was it… and where exactly did my wishes fit in?"

"You were expecting a child. You had to assume your new role and the consequences of your acts."

I laugh sarcastically –this is unbelievable. "The consequences of my acts! My acts! How many times do I have to tell you that that man abused me? How many times do I have to tell you the story of how he harassed me until he lost his patience? Do you honestly, truly believe I made all that up? Why are you here, anyway? You're memories of the worst years of my life, moreover, the cause of them. If only you had believed me… If only you had believed me as I cried and cried and begged you to do anything but give me to him, to that bastard who during our first night, he…" I take deep breaths to calm myself down and push away the thoughts of that hellish first night. It takes a couple of minutes until I feel better. I caress my belly to soothe my baby and turn back to my parents.

"Still, now that you're here, there's something I've always been curious about: what the hell made you think I actually liked Aro? Honestly, what did I ever do to make you believe that? Did I show anything?"

"Ahem… no… not quite. But it seemed logical, he was rich, amazingly good-looking, powerful, and he evidently adored you. He seemed so charming, all excited about the baby you were carrying, it really seemed natural that you had fallen for him. He was undoubtedly a good match for you, much better than we ever thought you'd find, and we considered that even if you weren't so sure about marriage in that moment, you would soon accept it. For your child."

"Well, you were wrong. You sent me straight to hell. Yes, Aro adored our son, but he was sickly obsessed with me; it was a crazy fixation. He was terribly jealous and fickle, I could never know if he would pamper me or beat me up to the point of making me spent weeks in bed or even go to the hospital. He saw me like an object he could play with. He made every single day beyond miserable, and I hated him more than I ever thought possible."

"Honey, you scare me. This is not the Alice we know."

I laugh out loud. "Of course it's not! The Alice you knew, that stupid little girl, she was abused and hurt in every single way possible until she died. She was raped on her wedding night and then beaten up at least once a week for four years. These," I say, rolling up my sleeves so they can see the thin lines on them, "are belt marks. Whenever he felt like it, whenever he felt I'd displeased him, he'd hit me with his belt. The Alice you knew spent week after week recovering from these beatings until she couldn't do it anymore and the girl that rose was a completely new one.

"You saw me that time in the Piazza, remember? When you finally met my son? You saw that I was bruised: arms, face. I told you I'd been expecting another baby, have you forgotten? Didn't you ever wonder what had happened? Well, I'll tell you now: Aro beat me up and made me lose the child. At the hospital he was told I'd been taking contraceptives for a long time and as soon as I left the place he beat me up again because of that. You saw it that day, why didn't you even try to do anything?" My hands are trembling and to my horror I feel tears coming without my being able to stop them. "Why? Why did you leave me? I loved you! You meant everything to me! You know I was a good daughter, I never gave you any trouble, yet you didn't believe me. Why did you abandon me?"

I try to calm down, unsuccessfully. My baby, who started moving a couple of weeks ago, is now kicking, sensing the storm inside me. Once more, I turn to my parents and spit the final truth.

"And for your information, _I_ burned the castle! Yes, it was me! You can look as horrified as you want, but it's the truth! I set fire to the whole castle, trapping my husband there. True, I didn't mean for the others to die, but I did wholeheartedly intend to kill _him_. And I did and I'm proud of it!"

"But… but…why would you do that?"

"And you ask, dad! I just couldn't take it anymore. It was too much to bear. I endured four years of violence, of permanent fear, of wishing and trying to die. I survived for my son, because I, unlike you, could never leave my child. But the moment came when I simply had to leave. I had to. And I burned the castle, burned _him_, and that couldn't make me any happier! Killing him is the best thing I've ever done!"

The door of the study opens and I feel a pair of strong arms wrap itself around me. Jasper. My Jasper, always here for me.

"Sorry," he says, "I just couldn't stay out of this. It was too much, to hear and feel you suffer like this. Hello," his voice is now formal; he's addressing my parents. "My name is Jasper Cullen. My father owns this house, and for as long as your daughter is here with us she'll have everything she needs. I will protect her, and our baby. Yes," he places a hand on my belly, where our child is still moving and kicking. When it feels his touch, though, it calms down. "I'm the father of the baby she's expecting. That's why she left that place. And you truly have no idea how it was like. It was hell; she actually took too long before doing what she did. But she's strong and brave, plus now she's got a real family who will take care of her no matter what."

I put my arms around Jasper's waist. "That's right. I have a family that loves me and cares for me. Jasper and I are expecting our first child and I don't need you anymore. You're a past I want to forget. Now go. Just go. And never come back. I don't want to hear from you ever again, for as long as I live. Go!"

They look at me as if wanting to add something else, but in the end they can't bring themselves to say it and with a last look at us they leave. Once Jasper and I are alone in the study he hugs me tightly and brushes the tears away from my face, stroking my cheeks at the same time. His thumb touches my lips and he kisses me. I waste no time in kissing him back, holding on to him for dear life and kissing him furiously. He grasps a handful of my hair and sooner than I realize we're back upstairs, finishing what we were doing before the interruption.

At night, as we cuddle on the bed Jasper feeds me vanilla and strawberry ice cream.

"I'm proud of you," he says. "Not everyone has the strength to deal with this, but you've done beautifully." He kisses my head.

"It was something I had to close so I could truly move on. We have more important things to focus on right now. I mean, Carlisle has decided to take over the vampire government! What are we going to do? How is it going to work?"

"Nobody is sure yet. I guess Carlisle and Esme will be sort of the king and queen and we'll be kind of princes? princesses?" I laugh. "I don't know, maybe later on, if you approve, Sebastian could take over, or at least play a very important role. We're making lots of changes within the family: your moving in with us, the birth of our baby, Edward's girlfriend, Bella, is also moving in, and it probably won't take them too long to start their own little family. There's a lot to think of, darling, a lot to prepare, and almost no time. Since Edward and I are with our girls Rosalie and Emmett are the ones helping Carlisle and Esme to sort things out. We'll see how this goes. I'm sure it will all be fine."

I sigh and curl tighter against Jazz. "Aw, Jasper, my love, my life, my safety, my…"

"Husband?"

I look up into his golden eyes. "What… what did you just say?"

"Husband. Would you take me as your husband, Alice?" In a second he's on one knee next to the bed, holding my hand. "Will you marry me?" he reaches inside his pocket and takes out a little velvet box. It contains the most beautiful ring I have ever seen, a diamond cut into a thousand rainbow surfaces. "Will you, Alice? Will you be my wife?"

For the second time today a knot is formed in my throat. I nod, trying to form words despite my tears. "Yes," I finally manage to say. "Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Yes!"

He kisses my hand and suddenly the ring is around my finger. A perfect fit. We kiss and kiss, kiss for a very long time. We have all the time in the world to be happy.

_*****__**HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PETER FACINELLI ! LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU !***_

**Hello! Uff! These weeks! Been hunting down Evil Tweets. Tough, but I've made a couple of Twitter friends thanks to that. Those of you who have a Twitter account, please follow OH_ASHLEY_GREENE and don't forget to add #WeLoveAshleyGreene to your Tweets.**

**I have finally come to accept the Jashley thing. Of course, I would prefer Jackshley a thousand times, but Ashley looks so happy, and it's so obvious that Joe adores her… He'll always have 40 million brain cells less than her, but you know the opposite poles rule. Besides, she's beautiful and intelligent enough for both of them. Ooh, totally, totally adored her on Lopez Tonight!**

**Wish me luck, guys, I've got a Math exam at 9 am! **

**Right now it's 1:03 am, so I think I gotta go!**

**XOXO**

_*****__**HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PETER FACINELLI ! LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU !***_


	37. Snow

**A few weeks ago I was in a park and I saw a woman and her daughter walking their dog: a beautiful big, black dog. Suddenly, the dog decided to run dangerously close to the moving cars. Then mother and daughter called after their pet: "Bella! Bella, come back! Bella! Bella!" Coincidence…?**

**Enjoy!**

**XOXO**

**Snow**

"You sure took your time to propose to her, brother," laughs Edward.

"Well, she was married, wasn't she? And we'll still have to wait until the baby is born to get married, so we do have time."

"Um… that's debatable. I'd swear that kid's coming out any moment."

And I would, too. I feel like I'm about to explode. Though I still have a couple of months to go I'm huge as a watermelon; this is nowhere near the time when I was pregnant with Sebastian. Now, it won't be long until I can't even walk or even move. Carlisle, who has become my obstetrician, says it's perfectly normal, that I'm carrying a strong healthy baby and that I shouldn't worry. Hm…

But wait, that doesn't mean I'm not excited. I've never been happier in my entire life. Every day is a miracle, I see my stomach get impossibly bigger and feel the child moving inside. Jasper loves it, too. He often rests his head on my belly, claiming he can hear the heartbeat, or talks to it, or plays music with headphones directly on my skin, hoping the sound can reach our baby. He also treats me like a true queen, he never leaves my side and practically carries me everywhere so I don't get tired by moving. He's the reason I've put on more weight than I did with Sebastian, for he's always bringing me chocolates, ice cream, and all sorts of sugar and sweets. This is so unlike the other time; now I'm overly excited and I join the plans to decorate the nursery and buy toys and clothes, help the girls -Bella moved in last week- as much as I can. But the obvious differences between my pregnancies draw my attention to Sebastian, more than ever.

Between our sudden change of life and my pregnancy we have barely had time for ourselves, and I'm afraid the arrival of this new baby is affecting him negatively. I mean, he's used to be the child of the house, the little one, the priority, and now he'll have to share. I have noticed he's becoming silent and sort of distant; I know he misses Jane more than he lets me see, and I think he's totally confused and lost.

"You'll love me less," he says simply when I bring up the topic.

"But why would I love you any less, sweetheart?"

"Because you hated Papa. He hurt you and you hated him. But you love Jasper, and so you will love the baby more than you love… me."

He looks down and I realize how much this really worries him. My poor boy, he's been forced to mature too quickly. I pull him closer to me and kiss his little head.

"Don't ever think that again. We have discussed this, frog, and you know that whatever happened between your father and me has nothing to do with you. I will never judge _you_ for what _he_ did. You're my son, mine and nobody else's; you will always be my firstborn, my first child. Don't worry about this child, honey, remember that you, too, were in here once." I place his hand on my belly, help him feel the curve, the soft movements. "Both of you are my children, and that's how I'll always see you, no matter what, ok?"

He nods and puts his arms around my neck.

"I love you so much, Sebastian, so, so, so much…" I murmur, patting his back and kissing his cheek.

"I love you, too, mama."

After our conversation Sebastian does look a lot better. Over the next weeks I try to get him involved with the whole process of welcoming his baby brother or sister. He looks excited now, happy and eager to help. Within a few days we're done with everything, and the whole family is ready for the baby.

One night, after putting order in the tons of clothes we've bought, I let myself fall on the bed, totally exhausted. Jasper lies beside me and puts an arm around my shoulders and a hand on the enormous curve that is my belly.

"It can be anytime now, right?" he asks.

"Yes."

"How do you feel?"

"Fine. Sebastian's birth was very easy and quick, and Carlisle says there shouldn't be any difference with this one."

"But…?"

"I smile –he knows me too well. "But I'm still scared. If anything happened, if anything went wrong, Jazz, I'd…"

"Sshh, sshh, hush, love. There's no reason why anything bad should happen. We have Carlisle and his centuries of experience; besides, everyone in this family has studied medicine at least once in their life, so we're totally prepared. Everything will be fine."

I feel the waves of calmness and relax. Jasper pats my head and feels the soft movements of the baby.

"It will be the most beautiful child ever born, won't it?" he murmurs.

"Of course. It's half you, how can it not be perfect?"

He chuckles. "And who would have thought, less than a year ago, that we'd be here right now, together, without having to hide or fear for our lives; moreover, that we'd be expecting a baby. But it's only the first one, isn't it? Because I want to have my own baseball team, ok? Kick Emmett's butt for the first time?"

"Bet your sister will love it. And with you, I'd have a dozen children."

"Good. You will."

I laugh, but the pain in my lower back is getting too strong now, so I sit again and try to massage my poor muscles. Jasper smiles, positions himself behind me and rubs my back. Ah, that feels good… I rest my head on his shoulder and enjoy the sensation. But then he pulls my blouse down a little bit and presses his lips to my neck and shoulders.

"Jazz…" I say, motioning him to stop. However, not only does he not stop, but his fingertips, which were softly pressing my neck, threaten to go lower.

"Jaaaaazz…" I insist. "Please, don't do that. It's… frustrating. Too frustrating."

Oh yes, it is. I'm so huge that to even think of intimacy is totally out of the question. Carlisle absolutely prohibited it, which is really hard for both of us, because desire has always been a strong thing in our relationship. We're desperate for each other, but we'll just have to wait because right now any kind of contact is simply impossible. Jasper sighs and kisses my head.

"You're right, honey, I'm sorry. It's just that I like you too much. But I'll behave now, I promise."

He takes my face in his hands and kisses me. Since it's the only thing we can do we put everything into that kiss; slow, long and passionate. Suddenly the baby starts moving and kicking inside me almost frantically. I guide Jasper's hands to my stomach, right over the spots where the kicking is stronger. He kisses me even more intensely and caresses my belly. When, an eternity later, we separate, he bends down and covers my stomach in more kisses. After that he tucks me in and lulls me to sleep.

_Jasper's POV_

I sit by the window, watching my two favorite things in the world: the full moon and Alice sleeping. The light of one showers the other and makes her glow, and they're both stunning. Around two o'clock, though, I notice something is going on with Alice.

She's usually a quiet sleeper, so it intrigues me when she starts moving from side to side, restlessly. I know it's not a nightmare, so I approach her. She moans quietly, still asleep, but then all of a sudden she jerks forward, eyes wide open and both hands on her tummy, a soft cry escaping her lips.

"What is it, darling?" I ask, worried.

"Get Carlisle!" she says. "Quick!"

"But- why? What's wrong? Wh-"

"My waters just broke!"

"What! But I thought we still had time!"

"Clearly–not –so –get –Carlisle –now -! Argh!" she cries out in pain and starts panting.

"I don't want to leave you alone!"

"GO!"

I fly downstairs, shouting nonsense and trying to find Carlisle.

"Carlisle ! Carlisle ! CARLISLE!"

"What is it, son?" he asks, Esme right behind him.

"Alice is having the baby!"

We dash upstairs, the rest of the family now moving as well. It only takes one look for Carlisle to determine everything.

"We won't make it to any hospital, the process is too developed. It'll have to be here. Get me hot water, towels, and scissors."

Esme disappears to get all the stuff and I just stand frozen on my place. Carlisle accommodates the pillows behind Alice and they both prepare themselves.

"You've been through this, darling, you know how it is. It will be over in a second, but I still need you to be strong and confident, ok?" she nods. "Jasper, come here, she needs you."

I hold Alice's hand and try to ease her pain, but since it's merely physical there's nothing I can do. I caress her hair while she tries to breathe and follows Carlisle's instructions; Esme arrives with the material and in the corridor I see Rosalie with a still sleepy but worried Sebastian in her arms, everyone else is with them, too.

I think I'm more preoccupied than Alice; she's focused and ready while I'm just panicking at the sight of her blood and her screams of pain. If there's something I never wanted to create in my Alice is pain, and guess what she's going through right now thanks to me. She pants and cries out and holds my hand as if her life depended on it. I try to soothe her the best I can.

"Alice, love, c'mon, be strong."

"It's almost here, Alice, just push a bit more."

"You heard Carlisle. Once more, honey, just once."

She lets out another scream and falls back on the pillows, completely breathless. And in the very same moment the most beautiful sound I've ever heard in my life fills the room.

"UUUUUAAAAAAAAHHHHH !"

A tiny, tiny thing with the strongest lungs. Our child. Our child. Our child! Carlisle has it in his hands, cooing it, and the whole family is cheering. Alice leans forward, laughing and crying.

"How is it?" she asks.

"Perfect. Strong, beautiful, a Cullen to the very core."

"And what is it?"

Carlisle wraps the baby in a pink blanket and hands it to Alice.

_Alice's POV_

It's a girl. The most beautiful girl ever born. Hair that promises to resemble Jasper's and almond-shaped eyes whose violet shade seems to be a combination of my blue and the ruby that was once his. Pink lips that look like a rose bud, pale skin that is undoubtedly a vampire's, with its soft gleam, the sweet smell of her body. Like Carlisle said, a Cullen to the core. She has stopped crying and looks at me with those star-like, curious eyes.

"Welcome, darling," I say, and notice my voice is thick with tears. "Welcome."

Jasper is at my side, discovering this perfect little fairy where both of us are combined.

"Thank you," he whispers fervently in my ear. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

The rest of the family comes into the room and Sebastian immediately climbs onto the bed.

"This is your sister, frog," I tell him

"Wow," he says. It's the first time since he started talking that he's wordless. But he's smiling, and I'm happy to see that he's not worried about this baby anymore.

"She's so beautiful!" exclaims Rosalie. Her eyes are gleaming and she'd probably be crying too, if she could. Everyone is now surrounding us and I feel like I could burst with pride at the sight of my little family: my soon-to-be husband, my finally smiling son and the perfect daughter I've just brought into the world. I'm so happy I've given Jasper such a beautiful baby girl… A moment I never thought I'd live to see, surreal and beyond all imagination. Jasper sees I'm exhausted and practically kicks everyone out, only Sebastian stays. The four of us cuddle together in the bed and when I finally lose the battle against sleep, I surrender with Jasper's daughter in my arms.

**Hello again. I'm really planning on writing another chapter ****this tear but just in case I don't, I wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. And I won't say anything else, cuz I tend to get all sickly sweet and unbearable in Christmas time. Be happy, people!**


	38. Epilogue The Last Battle

**Epilogue- The Last Battle**

We called her Luz Victoria. 'Light' and 'Victory', exactly what she brought and meant for us. Holding her in my arms was a miracle, her beauty the most wonderful gift. It seemed as if Life wanted to somehow make up for the misery it put me through by giving me this amazing little fairy that I adored and Jasper worshipped. Like her brother, Victoria had the best from two species and we would spend hours and hours leaned over her cot -a gorgeous white cot with soft pink curtains, built by Rosalie especially for our girl-, just admiring the delicacy of her features, the rose-like shape of her lips. Her hair was totally Jasper's but with a redder shade that would look stunning with the eyes that were definitely turning blue. She had tiny feet and little hands, along with the most charming dimples. She hardly ever cried or gave any trouble at all and the whole family was charmed by the new angel.

Jasper was just crazy about his princess. There wasn't a toy in Volterra that he didn't buy, not a dress that didn't become part of Victoria's wardrobe. He said she was more beautiful than the stars and the clouds together, and I could do nothing but agree wholeheartedly with him. Our daughter was simply perfect.

I was pleased to see that Sebastian took his sister's arrival quite well; he too was enchanted by her and soon began to draw pictures of her. They would later become inseparable and one of the most beautiful duets in our society.

Shortly after her birth Jasper and I got married in a luxurious wedding that, unlike my first one, was full of friends rather than political acquaintances. There were some of those, sure, now more than ever because Carlisle had officially taken over the vampire government, but in general what I saw were warm faces that went from dazzling to dazzled the moment they met our baby girl. It was one of the most glorious days of my life.

Our honeymoon was a tour all around the coldest places on Earth. I've always been a snow type of girl, so I had the fun of my life visiting mountain after mountain and building endless rows of snowmen. Our last stops, though, were to see the blooming cherry trees in Japan and an island that belongs to Esme, which she kindly offered to us. Though I loved every minute we spent there, given the damage we left on every single surface I doubt she'll ever repeat that offer.

We returned home happier than ever, delighted to see our children and friends. For if there's one thing I thank the time I spent with Aro for is the friends I made there. Marcus and Natalia visit often, as well as Gianna, Demetri -who now that he doesn't have to babysit me is much friendlier- and their little Angelo, soon joined by Stella. Another frequent presence is that of Paloma, who usually brings her Laurent along. So many people that now are an important part in my life. I guess I do owe the Volturi that.

As for the government, of course I don't miss it. I live with it every single day. Carlisle has become a sensible leader, wise and prudent as we knew he'd be. Along with Esme, they form the team our society needs. No more need for me to witness tortures and executions; the Cullens always find a better way to solve things. These will be centuries of peace and when -if- Sebastian or Victoria ever decide to join Carlisle I know they won't have any problems.

However, not only can't I forget the years I spent with Aro, but I don't _want _to. I don't want to because they taught me what I wouldn't have learned in a lifetime and in the end they brought me to Jasper. That's why when Marcus suggested to restore the castle but make of the garden a kind of memorial to those we lost I immediately agreed. Somehow, he had preserved the ashes of most people almost intact, so we were able to make of the enormous lawns a graveyard to remember the loyalty those vampires showed. And that's why, when soon after Victoria was born I found out I was pregnant with twins -actually, they were a honeymoon souvenir- I knew they would be my way of thanking the two most amazing beings I've ever met and that died the bravest deaths for love. When they were born, more beautiful than the sun and the moon, I called my twins Jane and Alec.

I saw my parents one last time, in a park. I was guiding Victoria as she practiced her first steps while Jasper pushed the double pram with our twins and Sebastian -he must have been around six- picked some rocks and branches he'd later draw. It was winter –we'd chosen that day to go out because the clouded, freezing sky would hide our sparkling skin-, and the four of us were half-covered in snow, laughing with Victoria as she took two little steps without any help. My parents were on the other side of the street. Though I wore sunglasses to hide my brilliant crimson irises I know they recognized me, but they didn't make any attempt to approach us. I never saw them again.

Now it's winter once more. Jasper and I walk holding hands, kissing quickly whenever the children look away. They're so handsome… Sebastian does resemble his father, but his features are sweeter and his smile is kind and never forced. Victoria is definitely turning into a redhead, which contrasts beautifully with her paleness. Jane and Alec, curiously enough, do look like the original ones, since Janette has Jasper's blond hair, but straight like mine while Alec has my dark hair with Jasper's curls. But they are all true to the Cullen essence, and more precious than the sky. Our pride and joy, and our best hope for this peace to continue over the millennia. And they're growing so fast… Soon, Sebastian won't be my baby anymore; he'll push me away when I try to hug or kiss him and will prefer videogames over me. But that's how Nature is meant to be, and I try not to be too saddened by the idea.

Jasper, as always, senses my feelings and wraps his arms around me, his chest pressed against my back. Now that we're equals in strength I finally notice how much of himself he'd really been restraining at the beginning of our relationship. I compensate him now by pushing myself tighter against his body. He leans forward and kissed his way down my head to my ear.

"Let's go home," he whispers urgently. "Please."

I can feel his mood, and believe me, I share it. He kisses me behind the ear and below the jaw and it takes my entire strength not to fully react to his touch; now that our skin has the same temperature I get to enjoy the feeling of his body even more, if possible. I turn around and kiss his lips. He pulls me closer and deepens the kiss and then… we get hit by a shower of snowballs.

"Mom! Dad!" laughs Victoria. "Join us!"

"We're coming, sweetie," Jasper tells her.

She's so pretty and delicate… I can't bear the idea of her growing up and leaving us. Already, though she's still a child, Jasper is becoming the classical jealous dad, overprotective of his little princess, and I know he loves her as desperately as I do. She, after all, is the mark of the triumph of our love when we thought we'd lost, when we had nothing. Victoria and the twins are the walking proof or how miracles do happen.

Jasper and I look at each other and know that we'll have to wait. Even little Jane and Alec are preparing themselves for the snow fight, taking enormous masses of snow in their little hands. They have no gloves on, yet they can hold the balls for a long time without getting burned or without the snow melting. Ah, my little vampires.

Jazz hands me what seems like a ton of snow and we hide behind some bushes. For the briefest of instants he takes advantage of that little, dark space where the kids can't see us and pins me against the ground, hovering slightly over me as he kisses me passionately.

"I love you," he says.

"I love you," I answer.

Cries are echoing around us. We kiss again, briefly, and get on our knees. Sebastian officially declares war and everything after that is whiteness. But we do not fear as four little demons jump over us screaming at the top of their lungs. After all, we have won the battle.

T H E E N D

**Acknowledgements**

God, am I actually _crying_? Don't tell anyone.

The only ones I must thank are all of you, guys, the only people who have always believed in me and in this project. For a little over a year we were together, some since the very beginning, some joined later, but, for me, you have always felt like a family. You all know more of me than most of the people who I've met face to face, because the true me is not in my body; she lives in my words. She lives the lives I write and feeds on your trust and love. Without you and your patient reading, your kind comments and your supports, she would be dead. We both owe you what we are.

_Hope_ was born as a flash, an Alice-like vision I had on the night of November 9th, 2009, while I watched the news with my mom. The flash was an intimate moment between Alice and Aro, and a fight between them. At first, I fought against my impulse to write the story, I fought hard. Then, finally, I made the decision (and I'm quoting from my personal diary): _"After a lot of hesitation, an agony of 48 hours, I've decided to write a little whim I had." _When I posted the first chapter, I was sure everyone would hate it. It was so different from my other story, and I was scared. Yet… look what _Hope_ became. And that is solely because of you.

Thank you so, so, so much for these months we shared, for dedicating your time to read and review this story. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

**And now… a sneak peek at **_**Sugar Star**_**, my first Belldward story, coming soon. Enjoy!**

_I would tell you what I loved, but I prefer to give you Nothing. I would tell you what I love, but I prefer to give you Emptiness. I would tell you what I will love, but I prefer to give you a mirror._

It all started with an old piano inside an old diner run by an old man who lived in an old town. I happened to be walking outside this place, looking for my brothers after we'd split up to hunt. I could catch whispers of their thoughts and was about to follow these voices when I heard the old man complaining.

"Ah, my grandfather paid a fortune for it! Quite a lot of money, yes. The least I would expect is that the thing could hold itself together for a handful of years. But look at it! Standing there, taking the whole corner and not a single note comes from it."

Peeking inside the man's head I saw the object of his anger: a piano, the piano, an exquisite piece that looked totally out of place inside the diner. It was a pity to see it in such a state, for it must have been quite an instrument, so I thought that, given that I'd just hunted, I could take a look at it and, who knew, maybe there was a way to repair it.

I walked into the place and tried to avoid the eruption of thoughts that followed my entrance, addressing the owner immediately and offering my help to fix the piano. As soon as I sat myself in front of it I knew what the problem was: sheer neglect. Trying my hardest not to shake my head in frustration, I ran my fingers across the keys until they were perfectly tuned again, then I even played a bit of Debussy's Clair de Lune for everyone's enjoyment.

And it was there when It happened. When She happened. Right in the middle of the song the door of the diner opened and a middle-aged man came in. He was evidently the chief of police in that town, his attitude and thoughts said so. I'd barely had time to thank that his scent wasn't anything extraordinary when he turned around and called,

"Bella."

Right behind him, a girl appeared. She didn't look much older than seventeen or eighteen, but she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen: translucent skin so pure that it looked like a vampire's, soft, brown hair that fell in long waves across her back, and the most expressive eyes, the color of chocolate. She was certainly an amazing creature. I smiled at her, hopeful. Then the wind blew.


End file.
